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April 10, 10:29 PM

Thank you and good night

Well, it's been an hour. We have to pay another six dollars in connection fees if this keeps going so we are going to shut it down. Thank you to Mr. Schubart for writing in. History is an important subject, people. I hope that this live blog encourages some of you to spend more time studying History. And thanks to all the fans who liked tonight's show. (And for those of you who didn't, try us next week. We really appreciate your business. If next week's stinks to you also, the following week may tickle your fancy. Don't give up -- every fifteen or twenty episodes comes a one that is kind of different in a way you may enjoy. )
Thanks everybody for your support during the strike, your participation tonight and your patience while we were off the air. We're all glad to be back here on NBC.

COMMENTS

Has the office jumped the shark?

I know this is totally sick. But during the writer's strike, we actually came up with our own episode to keep from going nuts.

The Office
Episode: The Elevator

PART I.

Opening scene: Michael is shepherding most of the office into the hallway, blindfolded.

Oscar: Michael, will you just tell us what you’re doing, please? It’s 5 o’clock, and I’m actually meeting someone in half an hour.

Michael: So I’m just keeping you from something you’re going to regret in the morning! (Pam & Jim look at each other, wide eyed)

O: Excuse me, Michael? What is that supposed to…

Toby: Michael, you really can’t joke about someone’s personal…

Michael: Shove it, Toby. Okay! Listen up, everyone! (laughing) I welcome you to our first annual team-building activity.

Dwight: Michael, we’ve done team building activities four and a half times in the last six years.

M: Well, this is the first in a new series of officially annual activities…

Andy: How can you do a half activity?

Dwight: Team-building water races were shut down in spring 2004 after approximately twenty-five minutes when a jogger saw Michael illegally opening a fire hydrant to hydrate the tarmac for a slip and slide competition between the warehouse and our office.

M: That, that was a long time ago. Can we move on, please?

Dwight: That was also a half activity because the promised hot dogs never showed up.

Michael: Actually, actually they did, Dwight! You probably just left early, that was a great, terrific and team-building, fun, super fun activity, Dwight…

Dwight: I was there twenty-five minutes and you promised hot dogs. Corn dogs arrived and all condiments were forgotten with the exception of expired sauerkraut.

Jan: You told me that activity was to de-litter central park. We almost got news coverage for you that day.

Dwight: Well, you should have because then you would have seen that I am right about the corn dogs.

Michael: Okay, people! This way! I am going to ignore all of you, and instead, I am going to welcome you to the first annual team-building event of the Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch!

Stanley: Michael, it’s 5 o’clock.

M: Stanley, and that is exactly why our team-building event is going to take no more than one minute of your time.

Meredith: Why are we blindfolded?

M: You are blindfolded because I want you to visualize yourselves as one giant- not gay or black or Indian or anything else- unit.

Toby: Michael, that is…

M: Toby, why don’t you just go back to work? Just go back to your corner and harass somebody who cares.

T: It’s 5 o’clock, Michael. I’m going home like everybody else…

M: Okay, look, people! Let’s focus here, okay? Because the point of this activity is to build ourselves up as a team, and I am not going to take up much of your time, and I already bought the sandwiches.

Kevin: You have sandwiches for us? Do we have to eat them with the blindfolds on?

Dwight: What kind of sandwiches? Did you remember the condiments?

M: People! Friends! Okay, would you all just form a line and please come with me. I promise you are going to leave for work right now, as promised, after one very short little activity.

(Everyone sluggishly forms a line, blindfolded, begins walking forward; led into a warehouse freight elevator)

M: Okay, okay, wait- I forgot about one thing. Kevin and Phyllis, please get off the elevator.

P: What?

M: You’re going to set us over the weight limit and I didn’t think about that. Just, okay, you know what? Phyllis, you’re a great team player already. Why don’t you just take the next elevator and we’ll see you tomorrow, okay?

P: Michael, I like group activities…

Stanley: Phyllis, for once in your life just follow the man’s directions. I would give my left leg to be you right now.

(Phyllis pouts, heads out into common area)

M: You’re going to do that later when you develop diabetes. I mean, if. Okay, alright.

Oscar: Frankly, Michael, I am not comfortable with this at all. We are in a warehouse freight elevator after 5pm and I am personally feeling claustrophobic. Can we get to this one-minute activity quickly, please?

(door closes, Michael pushes 1st floor button, they begin to descend)

Dwight: Would you be more comfortable without the blindfold? Michael, I think the blindfolds are making people uncomfortable.

M: (laughs) Well, how are we supposed to play 7 minutes in heaven if we know who’s who?

(Dwight perks up, peeks under his blindfold and moves next to Angela)

Pam: What?!

Angela: Dwight, get us off of this elevator right now!

Dwight: Why don’t you ask Andy to get you off this elevator?

Andy: (gives Dwight the thumbs up, thinks he’s doing him a favor) Why, I would be delighted to escort m’lady off the elevator. And would m’lady enjoy the scents of her local Applebees after that? (he flashes her an Applebees gift certificate and she half-smiles)

Toby: (sighs) Any chance those sandwiches are in here?

M: I didn’t really order sandwiches.

Kevin: What?!

Stanley: Well, there’s a surprise.

(elevator arrives on first floor; everyone looks toward door, expecting it to open)

Kevin: Why isn’t the door opening?

M: (spits, trying not to laugh)

Stanley: Michael, this is not funny. Now, would you let us off this thing before I call security myself…

M: Okay Stanley, so here is the thing. Security actually knows that we are on this elevator. And cell phones don’t work in here, I checked that beforehand myself.

Toby: (hushed tone) Michael, what are you doing? Open the door. You need to validate that you heard Oscar’s claustrophobia comment, and the rest of us want to get out of here, too. You cannot legally detain employees in an elevator.

Kelly: Oh, my gosh. Are we trapped? I was stuck in an elevator once with this totally hot guy, like not Ryan hot but like Brad Pitt hot, but I was only like twelve and my mom was there and I was so scared out of my mind and I started crying and the hot guy gave me a tissue and then my mom yelled at me right in front of the hot guy for crying and I was so embarrassed and (Kelly starts to cry, keeps mumbling but can no longer understand her; Angela gives her a dirty look, Pam lets her cry on her shoulder)

M: Okay, you know what? You people are totally missing the point here. This is a team-building, structured activity. We are going to be detained on this elevator for no more than 15 minutes…

Angela: You specifically said one minute. You said one minute, Michael.

Jim: It’s true. You did say that.

M: Look, this is a structured, team-building activity! And it is all set up. After fifteen minutes, the lovely security lady, I believe her name is Hildi, is going to unlock the elevator and let us out.

Toby: Hildi’s shift is over at 5pm.

Oscar: What? You mean, you arranged with a now off-duty security person to lock us into an elevator at 5pm?

M: I specified fifteen minutes. I said, just lock us in for fifteen minutes! I bought her a sandwich and a Coke (Kevin: Ah, man!) and she is a very small lady, I’m sure it will take her that long just to finish eating and drinking.

*Pam, talking into the camera:
It’s like I could believe it was happening and I couldn’t believe it at the same time. Except that, I could mostly believe it.

*Kevin, talking into the camera:
I was mostly upset that he lied to us about the sandwiches. It is wrong to lie about food, especially free food. Especially free food at five o’clock.

(commercial- Buy some of these chips, mmm-mmm)

_______________________________________________________
PART II

Jim holds up Dwight’s wrist watch for the camera. It flashes 6:45pm and then proceeds to quickly flash all current times in every other time zone as Dwight explains its features.
Everyone has blindfolds off, around their necks or as scarves. Dwight made his into a neck tie, and Pam is trying to make hers into a dog.

M: It is not my fault if an undereducated security person can’t follow simple directions!

Dwight: Do you know for certain that she is undereducated? Does some high school count?

Andy: I hate to bring this up…

Stanley: Then don’t.

Andy: But, if a person were to have to take a tinkle, what might you suggest that person do? (Angela looks at him in disgust)

Dwight: Simple survival lesson, people. When trapped in an elevator for a duration exceeding four hours and an unknown length ‘til rescue, a group collectively gathers all likes of cups, containers, and briefcases for the purpose of urination and defecation. Should hydration be on the line, all urination will be saved for such purposes.

Kelly: What?! Ew! I am going to puke! This is so much worse than that time in the elevator with the hot guy and my mom and the tissue…

Dwight: We will not have extra containers available for vomit. You will have to vomit into your clothing.

Jim: Um, I don’t think she was serious, Dwight. And, so, does anybody have any great ideas for getting out of a locked elevator? Michael, maybe you could show us some of that brown belt action?

M: Black belt. I have a black belt. It was my cousin’s first, but we do all the same moves.

Kevin: Maybe, if it had one of those emergency phones, we could call somebody. Or, maybe Kelly could call somebody and not stop talking until they came to help us.

(They check for a phone- it says on a little tag that calls are received by Hildi until 5pm)

Toby: Michael, did you think about asking for an elevator key when you arranged this?

Michael: Seriously, Toby! You are just an HR guy! You seriously do not know what it takes to work with a group of people under you, to be a real leader for the people.

Stanley: That in no way answers the question.

Andy: (whispers to Jim) Hey fighter-boy (looking tough, punching the air), so what is the deal with Toby and Michael?

Jim: I have no idea. Why you just called me fighter-boy, or what the history is there.

Meredith: (first thing she’s said, so everyone looks at her, surprised) I know what the deal is with Toby and Michael. My sister went to school with these two clowns.

Toby: Meredith…

Pam: You guys went to high school together?! How did we not know that?

Meredith: No, why don’t you tell them? Just tell them. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Forget it, I’ll tell them (Michael cuts her off…)

M: No, you’re going to tell it all wrong! You’re going to botch it, just…okay, yeah, so Toby and I went to high school together. He was not very cool or funny or smart, but for some reason when awards were being given out by the senior class, he received most popular and funniest. And I was supposed to receive both of those awards. He stole my awards, and that is pretty much that.

Jim: (laughing) Toby, I had no idea, man! That is cool, congratulations!

Toby: (smiles weakly) I didn’t steal anything.

Michael, to the camera:
Okay, so they never got the proof I needed to formally litigate. But I counted the votes, or, I knew the person who counted the votes, we made out a couple of times, and she told me that I, by far, won in both of those categories.

(they hear a noise)

Kelly: Oh, my gosh! Darryl’s here! He must have gotten the brain signals I was sending him! That is so sweet of him to read my mind, I can’t believe it, you guys!

(elevator door opens; a drunk Creed steps in and hardly notices the others)

Creed: Oh, hi, guys.

(mystified looks)

Kelly: (disappointed) Oh. Darryl, I knew you wouldn’t come.

Oscar: Creed, how did you know that we were in here?

Jim: (catching on) Or…how did you get a key to the freight elevator, for whatever it is you might be doing here?

Pam: (laughs, surprised) Ah! You and Hildi?!

Creed: She’s a sweet gal. But I don’t kiss and tell. Got a key, though, to uh, help her out, on the weekends and stuff.

Dwight, to the camera: I knew it was never an issue of survival. I’ve survived 81 days on mud and fig leaves. And my urination was never even detected by the others. I would have been fine for a week in there.

THE END

When will Season 4 be on DVD? I'm having withdrawls!

Why I Don’t Trust the Craftsmanship of Swedes

I wish a pleasant January to you all. January is usually the month where Schrute Farms undergoes many of its reconstruction projects. During our recent transition into an eco-tourist destination, we opened our farm and its themed-rooms to tourists of all types. This has led to problems. While dealing with the needs of our varied guests, I no longer have time to begin the reconstruction efforts the farm so badly needs. My cousin Mose doesn’t have the initiative to start the projects on his own (although he is quite a diligent worker when told exactly what to do), so until I can get some free time, the farm will remain unkempt.

Additionally, the guests that we have hosted have not treated our belongings with the respect that we Schrutes give to our possessions. The night table constructed by my Great Uncle Gernot has been chipped and scratched as if it were a common scratching post. My familiar dining table has had beet jelly spilled upon it several times and, as everyone knows, beet jelly leaves stains that are entirely irremovable. After discussing the situation with various co-workers, it was suggested that I visit the massive furniture store run by Swedish people (In an effort to not slander nor promote any corporations in this weblog, I will refrain from naming with Swedish furniture store I patronized. Let’s just say that it was a bad “IDEA” that I shopped there).

After driving quite a ways to get there, I found the enormous monstrosity of a store. At first, I was worried that I had mistakenly driven to some massive indoor stadium. Unfortunately, this turned out to be my destination. Once inside, I was comforted by the abundance of umlauts in the signage but that’s where my comfort ended. The store was filled with shoddy items constructed of shoddy materials. Of course the prices are low – how much could they really charge for compressed sawdust?

While sampling their meatballs (surprisingly delicious, but not worthy of comparison to Grandma Mannheim’s fleischklops), I persuaded myself to buy one of the Swede’s night tables as a replacement for Great Uncle Gernot’s fine oak table. I just couldn’t imagine letting that table endure one more night of abuse by irresponsible travelers. The replacement table cost twenty-five dollars. It was made out of pine. Pine. For twenty-five dollars, I expect a lease for a small plot of land in a pine forest. Instead, I received eleven pieces of unfinished wood. Perhaps they would have liked to spit in my face as well.

When I got the table home, I set Mose to work assembling it. He completed the assembly in just under three minutes. I remember Mose making a similar table out of forest lumber when he was seven – as a joke. While we all laughed heartily then, except for Mose who was shunned for a week for participating in humor, nobody at Schrute Farms was laughing this time. Mose cried when he finished the construction. I don’t know if it was because of the poor materials and ridiculous tool he had to use or the memory of his long-forgotten forest lumber joke, but either way there were tears running down his bearded face and it breaks my heart to see that. It equally breaks my heart to have a piece of furniture in my home that is made of such a quality as that Swedish bedside table.

I smashed that table to pieces immediately. I couldn’t stand looking at it for one more second. From that day forward, I swore that I would never allow another piece of second-rate Swedish furniture into my home ever again.

Anything that makes Mose cry will henceforth be banished from Schrute Farms. Do not trifle with a Schrute. Ever.

That is all.

D. K. Schrute

5 minutes until brilliance!!

AS a history major in college right now I wholeheartedly agree about it's importance. In regards to this comment:

"The "f-word" needs to be used, like it is everyday outside the bible belt. Its a mauture show, AND its reflects real life."

in the fall the supreme court will be looking at obscenity cases from 2002 and 2003 Billboard Music Awards where the F word was used. This is the first indeciency case in 20 years to reach the supreme court. They will be deciding on the whether or not fleeting expletives should be permissible on television.
It should be noted that this does not mean that broadcast television stations will allow this.

Also, while people are posting their ideas for plot points I might as well give one. I always like it when the camera shows personality, like when it discovered the relationship between Dwight and Angela. It seems like you could evolve a storyline out of the cameraman. Maybe he's in love with Pam.

Enjoyed the episode alot! It was so good to see most everybody back, although I did miss Kevin, Phyllis and Creed. Any chance this episode was inspired by "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolff?" It really reminded me of an Office version of that play. If so, double creativity points to you all! I can't wait for the rest of the episodes. Welcome back!

finally!! finally!!..yesss..the office is back..i loved the newest episode..so good to see jim, michael and Pam back in action..check out this crazy webseries i found that combines the office and heroes
http://effinfunny.com/the-good-guys
Hilarious stuff... a must watch for any office fan!!

Great episode! I am so so so happy the show is back! I absolutely love it – please never stop writing new episodes! YO AMO THE OFFICE (I love the office).

Great show tonight, glad you are back.

The "f-word" needs to be used, like it is everyday outside the bible belt. Its a mauture show, AND its reflects real life.

Please dont listen to people that tell you how to be funny and what is necessary or not.

Like Ricky says, the show isnt written to be a homogenized piece of vomit that is on every other channel.

The new episode was absolutely horrible, who wrote that, it was depressing and not funny in the least. I never smiled once. What a major disappointment after waiting all this time to watch the funniest TV show on the air.

My husband and I laughed through out the show, we loved it! But were appalled the F-word was used even though it was bleeped out. We though it very unnecessary.
Glad the show was back this week and can't wait to finish the season!

I just wanted to say "Thank you"! We've missed you!

the office...brazil.... brazil.......

Kate - Let us know if he calls haha

Kate - Let us know if he calls haha

Its all cool..."no hate mon" as Michael might say! I'll definitely be tuning in next week, and after that as my ap exam schedule allows! I have a feeling I will like next weeks as much as the pre-strike episode. So keep beavering away (thats what she said!)

The more i think about it, you guys could really tug our heartstrings with jam again without sacrificing what they achieved.... what would pam do if something happened to jim?? or how would jim act if pam had a bad accident?? ....it is a comedy though so it would probably have to start at the end of an episode i guesss...

Even a text guys.. any contact with you guys would be life altering haha

412-310-4121

bj did you just try to call....because someone did....call again!!!!!!!
614-582-3633

That episode made me kringe.

I always like Mindy's episodes the most!!

Dundies!!!!

BJ's the least.....

But I love them all!!!

So even the least loved....

is still loved....

I am so exited you are all back!!!!!

More tomorrow, xoxo.

Unbelievably glad you guys are back! Can't wait for next week

Seriously though, if you're making calls.. 412-310-4121

I am so glad you guys are back. HOw many more episodes?

Blast! is there a contact email i can send ideas to?

great to have you guys back The season won't nearly feel long enough.

To all the writers:
Have a great evening! Thanks for your time:)

bj we are still here
614 582 3633

cheers!

Had to get the little network promo in there at the end eh?

You're very welcome.

This is the Ornik family. We were guests of Steve s few weeks ago and watched part of next Thursday’s episode being filmed from the green room. You were kind enough to sit with us and share information about the shows inception. We just wanted to let you know that we kept our word, and did not tell a sing soul about the plot development. We are very excited to watch next week’s episode. Thanks again for spending time with us.
PS. My daughter put several pictures of her and Steve on facebook and they have created one of the highest traffic photo albums on facebook.

The Office is the best show on TV!!! So glad it is back on the air.

Thanks so much everyone! We're so excited to have you back working on our favorite show!

I love BJ!

thanks and
good night to you writers

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