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This morning I was listening to the radio and since 97.1 decided to change it's format by getting rid of the best morning talk show host, Adam "Ace" Carolla, and replace him (along with the rest of the station) with much needed pop music, I enjoyed some oldies but goodies. As I was listening to "Take A Letter, Maria," I realized that you don't hear any new songs about people writing letters or even about Operators - i.e. Jim Croce or The Grateful Dead or Smooth Operator. Those subjects are obsolete in 2009 and it's almost nerdy to write a song with the current equivalent. You're not gonna hear a song by Justin Timberlake where he dictates an email for his secretary to send to his "wife," stating that he is leaving her. Maybe he can do a duet with Alicia Keyes and they can call it, "Compose An Email, Alicia" ...don't forget to CC your lawyer JT.

I was going to use Chris Brown instead of JT, but I don't think there's gonna be a quick Internet connection where CB is going. Do you think one day, they'll change the one phone call rule in prison to a one text or one email? So, maybe if you know some criminals, you'll get a random text like, hey what's up? nmh. in prison :( NOT LMAO. That would suck if you had a bad connection at that prison and couldn't send it out. I think I'd be alright (despite the fact that I'd be in prison) but I've got the Verizon Network and by alright I don't mean with my service, I mean I would have a posse of Verizon workers behind me and the "can you hear me now" guy, so I'm sure we could take on the guards and start a riot, or at least I can send around a hat and collect bail money.

As I'm writing this rant I can't help but think that Linda is going to use "Take a Letter, Maria" and turn into a Deal or No Deal song. Like, "Take a Deal, Mandel" or "Make it low, Tameka." I know I'm just increasing the odds of this parody by talking about it, but if Vegas had a line on whether or not she was going to do it, I would put all my money on that she would and I would parlay it with her doing a mnemonic device, Dawn to count her days and black, because if I learned anything from Wesley Snipes it's to pay my taxes and always bet on black.