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One Wedding and Bird Suicide...

First off, congrats LB on the marriage. Side note - I'll be listening to 'Another One Bites The Dust' while I write this post.

Also, RIP to my friends parakeet, Joey The Clown, who past away recently. I don't want to get into CSI graphic details, but let's just say, some of us are convinced that Joey committed suicide. He will be missed. So, I guess that song works for both occasions. On a happier note, Dickus Butkus, the fish, is still alive and well.

Efren/Dollydeb - It's true, some of the crew have gone on hiatus. But the daytime show is coming soon. I don't know anything about a 'van' tour, but I would like to travel around the country in a van with a mural on the outside of a woman riding a Siberian tiger holding a giant sword in the middle of space. Just one of my dreams.

Who's your favorite for the next briefcase model?

Ya know, I worked the day the new girls came in and did their photo shoot for the website. It was a little strange catering to 26 new models and not the regular girls I work with. It kind of felt like I was cheating on my girlfriend(s). But I had fun. They're all great and it's not easy picking one.

Dollydeb - Not sure which models will be part of the daytime version yet.

Dawn - Get well with the hernia surgery. No more Strong Woman Competitions for you this year. Someone else is gonna have to pull that car with their teeth.

The Chick - I can't send you a bracelet because I don't have any. Howie got it from somebody outside the show. You can probably check online for it somewhere.

Steven Waldie - The announcer talks that fast because he wants to be better than the Micro Machines guy from the 80's...and he is given a certain amount of time to say what he needs, so he goes fast. And no it hasn't been confirmed on which models (if any) are leaving the show. As far as you and I know, they're all back next season.

GO CUBS!

This will be quick because I'm on break.

Dawn - I asked Howie about the red bracelet he wears. It says "Never Give Up"; a motto he likes to live his life by no matter what it applies to. But, it was given to him to raise awareness about MS. To those of you, like me, who thought it was a Colbert "wriststrong" bracelet, we were wrong. Maybe Colbert will read this and give both Howie and I (that's right, I'm nudging my way in this) an honorary Wriststrong bracelet? You listening, Colbert?

LB - You sure do spend a lot of time on the world wide web, especially on this blog, for someone who has a wedding coming up. Are you gonna have a laptop set up at the altar so you can give us the play by play of what is going on?

Mary and Charlene (Martha Brown Teachers) - Wow, you're trying to embarrass me with that 6th grade story. You have a better memory than I, or I must have blocked that traumatic historical reenactment out of my mind, 'cause I don't remember that. I'm sure it happened, but it wasn't one of my finer performances that's for sure. I'm more of a Roman, than a Trojan.

Marsha - Don't you worry Marsha. I see ya commenting. You think the banker has a problem with the contestants having a crush on the girls? Well, of course, look at him. He's a lonely guy in the dark with only a computer and a phone, who stares out of a window at beautiful women. You might as well give him a telescope and a restraining order.

Well I gotta get back. Kelly wants me to feed her grapes and fan her with a palm leaf. Jokes on her though... we're out of grapes. Ha.

Oh wait, Crafty found some. Never mind.

Trina- I can't tell you when you should expect a call from a producer, because there is no protocol for this process. IF they like your look THEN you will get contacted.

Bobby- Yes that is Krissy as a Banker girl. She does a great job in that role. Rumor has it, Robert Palmer wanted to make a comeback once he saw her in that look and do another music video.

You know who really needs to make a comeback... Kenny Loggins. That man had a plethora of hits in the 80's. And not just hits, soundtrack hits. Top Gun, Footloose, Caddyshack... When I finally make a movie with a decent budget, he is gonna write and perform the whole soundtrack. TALK ABOUT COINCIDENCE... Kenny Loggins just came on the TV on some mindless reality music show that my roommates have on.

Oh no...Dawn now we've got two 'day since audition counts' going?

So I bought some sun glasses....

Now I'm not an avid sun glasses wearer, but it's getting to be the 'sunny' season here in LA. We just had a rough couple weeks of 'rain' season followed by a short 'kind of sunny' season and I want to be ready for the 'better get out your Blu-Blockers sunny' season because before you know it it's gonna be the 'time to get plastic surgery to correct the wrinkles around your eyes that make you look older than you really are, but it kind of makes you look distinguished, on second thought, you're in LA so you might as well get the surgery' season.” But, since I can't find any Blu-Blockers, since those sweet commercials back in '94, I settled for the thrifty $8 sun glasses. I figured, I don't wear them a lot and I usually break or lose every pair I own, so why get the expensive ones. Although, I do still own a pair from when I was a kid; it’s the 80's style, with black lenses and the sides are neon green. They're pretty ill. Anyway, as I was trying on different pairs of glasses in the store, I couldn't help but notice something. I look like a real jerk trying on sunglasses. In fact, everybody who tries on sunglasses looks like a jerk; Even you! You can't help but come off as a conceited, narcissist while you're staring at yourself in the mirror constantly changing poses and doing your best/worst Zoolander impression. I was disgusted with the way I was acting and I wanted to punch myself in the face when I realized what I was doing........but I didn't want to ruin that faccia, cause I looked damn good in those shades. (faccia means face).

Hope everyone had a nice Sunday, even if you don't celebrate said holiday. You know what I found out? Finding my Easter Basket isn't as fun at this age. Maybe 'cause it's too easy. I remember when I was younger, I would have to search the house; in the cupboards, behind furniture, under the sink with all the cleaning chemicals, but in recent years, I've always found it a few days early and outside the front door of my apartment. Mom, really come on, find a new hiding spot. I mean, the postman finds it before I do. And you've been putting it in a box with both our names on it. I feel like your not trying anymore... I think you've been playing too much golf. I blame Dad.