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NBC's New Marketing Strategy: Elevators

Posted June 05, 05:37 PM

VERY exciting news tonight, kiddies - WE'RE HAVING A SWEEPSTAKES!! THAT YOU CAN MAKE STUFF AND ENTER!! AND THERE'S A PRIZE AND EVERYTHING OMFG LOL LOL SRSLY.

Actually, there IS an awesome Late Night Contest that we're announcing on tonight's show I think you're all going to be PRETTY PUMPED ABOUT, SUCKAZ!! So make some room on your dance card for this evening's program!! (PS - Details will also be up at nbc.com/conan later tonight!!)

Now, here's something you may not know about me: On the way to work, I usually rock out. You know, headphones on, jamming to the beat, tapping the leg, maybe doing a little stutterstep up the steps. Oh yeah!! It's a between the ears raging danceparty every morning!! Anyway, so yesterday I'm on my way to work, rocking out, raging, stutterstep, etc etc, and I step into the elevator. I'm looking down at the floor as the doors open and I step in. As the doors close, I take off my phones and look up - AND JUMP INTO THE AIR FROM FRIGHT. Why, you ask? Simple: BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS ABOUT TO BE ATTACKED BY A HUMONGOUS AD FOR SOME BRAVO SHOW THAT'S BEEN PLASTERED INTO ALL THE 30 ROCK ELEVATORS:

ChillVader.jpg
See if you can spot the ad in this elevator (Hint: It's somewhere behind Chill).

Yo! National Broadcasting Corporation!! What's up, dudebros? Can't you ad people just send out a mass email or slip something under the door, or something? First of all, these INSANELY LARGE AND FRIGHTENING POSTERS ARE ACTUALLY HUGE PLASTIC STICKERS. Nice work. Whatever happened to "Green Is Universal"? Or that whole "Ecomagination" thing?! Maybe the adhesive is like smashed bugs or something? I don't know how that works.

SECOND OF ALL, these posters are ABSURD. I mean, look - the microchip that NBC installs in our brains when we're first hired already forces us to compulsively watch all NBC and Bravo and Telemundo and USA and Sci Fi and Olympics and Bravo television (including having to visit Universal Studios twice a year), so why the giant posters?! You're preaching to the choir, dudes. The overworked, underpaid choir (not me... Uh, the other choir members. I am, uh, paid greatohgodpleasedon'tfireme).

THIRDLY AND I SERIOUSLY CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THERE IS A THIRDLY BUT THERE IS, the posters are all for the same program. How badly do you want people to watch this thing, dudes? I mean, let's talk seriously for a second - is this it? Is this the last show that NBC is showing before they go under? Is this the flare off the bow of the Titanic? Because if it is, then maybe I could understand why there'd be insane looking posters in Every. Single. Elevator. I mean, that would still be totally crazy, but it I guess it would make some sort of twisted sense in a "let's kill this network off with a bang!!!" way. .

Or even if these eyesores were all for the Olympics - I mean, the Olympics are a big freaking deal, seeing as it's the only place where athletes from around the world can compete to see who's been shooting the most HGH - But these murderously large and obnoxious plastic stickers are NOT for the Olympics! They're all for something called "The A-List Awards"... Which is what, another awards show? Because that's what I think television is really lacking right now; a good ol' pat on the back. Hey look! It's another awards show that means... Nothing! If there's one thing that people love to do, it's award each other for doing nothing. You know what? I'm going to have an awards show called "The Awards Awards", which only gives out self-congratulatory awards to other awards shows. You could have categories like "Coolest Award" (clearly The Emmy, because you can stab someone with it). Or "Award Show with the Choicest Babes" (The Country Music Awards, I'm pretty sure). Or even "Most Boring Award Show"... WHICH WOULD BE A SIXTEEN THOUSAND WAY TIE, BECAUSE AWARD SHOWS ARE LAME GUYS COME ON.

Anyway... Make sure to watch the always hilarious Kathy Griffin host "The A-List Awards", Thursday June 12th at 10 - Only on Bravo. Watch what happens!

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Hi Aaron(A.K.A Blunder Bear),

I am sitting here laughing at what u just wrote. It is so true, some award shows are just lame. But some are deserving, like the Emmys, Conan and late Night deserves to win. Have u ever been to an awards show???

Speaking of awards, remember I told u I had my award ceremony last night?? Well, I won the Liberal Arts award. It really means a lot to me because the liberal arts classes we have are based on Modern Drama and Musicals, and I have always loved acting. I am hoping to get into community theatre after I am done with school and I have time.

I can't wait to watch tonight and find out about the contest. I also wanted to ask u, how long before the next hiatus, just curious. Oh, and please tell Conan he looks the hottest in black suits with white shirts, I have been meaning to tell u this, since watching the video on "Underground" I have ben observing his suits and he always looks good, but he looks the hottest in black with white. So sexy, lol!!

Byeeee!!!!

Kat

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Aaron Responds: Thanks Kat!! I'm glad you liked it!!

No, I have never been to an awards show, because I am not a writer... And unfortunately, there are no awards for Researching!! maybe one day soon, though - they seem to have awards shows for everything else!

Speaking of awards, CONGRATULATIONS, DUDE!! That's awesome!! I've never won anything in my entire life. You're career is off to a great start!! ;)

Our next hiatus is a two weeker, and it starts on June 23rd!! Awesome! And I will pass along your hotness comments! Ha ha.

I would watch "The Award Awards" that sounds like a good time. Would you be the host? What is this Sweepstakes? I am intrigued!

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Aaron Responds: I would NOT be the host - that would be someone prettier than me! Or at least someone whose beard hair matches their head hair.

Check the sweepstakes stuff HERE!

Ahhh....hahahha.. Are those posters all over the place?? Like did you walk into your office and it was placed above your computer so you can constantly look at it all day long to remind you of this program? And even though I don't work for NBC, i'm pretty sure those are still the only channels I watch.. besides movie channels and Comedy Central. And I agree, award shows are totally stupid (yet for some reason I still tend to watch them) because I barely ever agree with who wins and it's just an way for celebs to become even more egotistical. This is all excluding Conan and Late Night of course :)... But I would totally watch "The Awards Awards".. that sounds like something I would agree with.. Anyway, can't wait to see what this contest is!! Peace out Bley


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Aaron Responds: Yeah, AK!!! I don't think you're alone in watching awards shows - I mean, I think EVERYONE watches awards shows - that's why they're so popular and there are so many of em!

What do you think about the contest?! You guys should totally enter!!

I don't like Kathy Griffin. Or most awards shows (but I do like the Emmys and the Oscars).

Oh, and those posters are insane, but very much exactly what corporations seem to always be about. Having designed websites for a few large-ish corporations (certainly nothing NBC Universal-sized -- unless they want to hire me!) I know that it's like that everywhere. Such wasted spending on the most useless things, and then such penny-pinching on things that should really matter. Ugh!

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Aaron Responds: Totally!!

Hey Aaron,

I know you're not a lawyer, but do you think we can use "Late Night" footage in our commercials? There's a clause about original content in the rules. It would be verrry tricky to make an ad about the program without, uh, showing any of it.

-Andrea


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Aaron Responds: I actually asked about this, and the answer is YES - you are totally allowed to use Late Night footage in the commercials! Go for it, Andrea!! I can't wait to see what you come up with!!!

Dude! LOL!

I cracked up reading this blog entry. But it's no surprise to me about GE/NBC/Universal. My "Bit or Plug?" thread chronicles all the revolting commercialization of the Late Night show--so the elevators are no shock.

And dude, it used to be the National Broadcasting Company, not Corporation. (Just, you know, FYI, since your complaints about your pay have not gone unnoticed, I'm sure. LOL)

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Aaron Responds: You know it!!! Consider this post dedicated to you, SOJ! When I was writing it, I was imagining you pumping your fist in the air with glee!! :)

And... Oops! Oh well. Hopefully when the higher ups are googling "national broadcasting company", this blog post won't come up!!

sorry NBC, your elevators did not work on me this time. please dont fire aaron, he did his best to get me to watch that thing, it's not his fault that i won't.


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Aaron Responds: NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER, RALPH!!

bley!!
firstly, YAY FOR CONTESTS!! lol even though im not old enough to actually enter, im still gonna make a commercial and put it on youtube! if my camera works... lol
secondly, i swear the show reads my mind sometimes! a day ago i had this really weird dream where we were at our graduation ceremony thing for the end of school, but it was in 6a! it was really weird because the "laugh zone" had a gym floor like the one in our school, but the audience seats were there and the cameras and everything! and then i go up to get my award and jeff ross gives me this cue card! it was really random! and then yesterday conan gave that cue card to the guy in the front row! it was random and weird
and OMG i have a thirdly too!! haha THIRDLY'S ROCK!! lol okays well anyway i would totally go to your Awards Awards show!! and i didnt know that you have your little jam sessions on the way to work! what kind of music do you listen to while you're rocking out?
take care everyone!

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Aaron Responds: Thirdly's DO rock, ha ha ha!!

I like all kinds of music, but since it's the summer, I've been listening to a lot of Motown & Stax songs!! The Temptations, Joe Tex, The Supremes, Otis Redding, etc!! Good stuff.

That dream sounds crazy!! I had a dream a couple weeks ago that Jeff Ross was the head of a summer camp that I was at!! It was crazy!

Aaron,

Those posters are abuse! Their an assault on the eyes and the mind. Why must every space be covered with advertising? These ad agencies are out of control! It's borderline brain washing! Resist the propaganda! Fight against the Machine!

You and your office buddies should rip the posters down and tear them up! Or if you can't at least mess them up! Show them that they can't abuse you in this way! Stand up for yourselves! If you don't and let this elevator poster stand then get ready for more elevator posters! Nip this in the bud now!

Read Adbusters Magazine!

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Aaron Responds: Fight the power, indeed!! I would try to tear the posters down, but the pain chip in my brain stops me from destroying any NBC property!! Our electronic overlords are mighty and terrible!! Also, they're on there really good.

It's hard for me to complain about advertising... On the one hand, I hate it and it's terrible and obnoxious and intrudes its way into my eyes and brain. On the other hand, advertising makes a lot of awesome things possible; The internet, for example. Or our show, for another example. Or magazines. Or newspapers. Ads have even done GOOD things - they've introduced me to bands that I wouldn't have heard otherwise (Feist springs to mind, but she's not the only one). So while yes, ads suck, they don't TOTALLY suck. I wasn't pissed that there were ads in the building per se, I was just pissed at the complete absurdity of the ads that Bravo chose to use (and where they chose to put them). It was just totally silly, and something I thought you guys would find hilarious!!

Also, isn't you writing "Read Adbusters Magazine" just an advertisement in the comments section of this blog? I'm just saying... ;)

I don't know much about Kathy Griffen, except her truly enlightening phrase, "Suck it, Jesus." That is awesome.
No offense, Christians.
For the first time in AGES (not really, but...) I watched Late Night on mah big screen. Yeay. It's weird how his hair looks more red when he's sitting at the desk than during the monologue.
I think elevators should be protected more, much like the recently-proclaimed-extinct Carribean monk seal should have been. If we keep plastering stickers on them, they'll be carrying extra weight, so if some horizontally-savvy people come in, they'll be crashing down because of the stupid poster, and the elevator will cease to exist. WHY? WHY MUST THESE POOR MANMADE DEVICES GO THROUGH SO MUCH SUFFERING?
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to stop procrastinating and finish my stupid english project.
Sushi(yay!)

P.S. I must agree about the black suit/white shirt thing. Il est tres tres beau. (I'm getting multilingual on yo' ass!)
... I'm sorry, that just sounded wrong.

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Aaron Responds: Interesting... You're not the only one who's in love with the whole black suit thing! It seems to be somewhat of a movement on these here internets...

What's your English project?!

ur funny! you went through all that to then push us to watch Griffin host another award show! LMAO!!! C-L-A-S-S-I-C--------O

And do you really watch Telemundo? Tell me you don't! Say it aint so!

ooh a commercial for COB...this is when i get challenge myself. i just may do something.

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Aaron Responds: Hey, I didn't say that you should WATCH it... I was just trying to share a little bit of my misery!

And sometimes I put on Telemundo to if something catches my eye, but I don't speak Spanish, so no!

Is Jimmy Fallon really stupid, or is that just his act?

************************************************************
Aaron Responds: Wait, what do you mean, "really stupid"? Did he flunk his LSATs or something??

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