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The Inside Scoop From Backstage by Aaron Bleyaert

All Quiet on The Tonight Show Front

Posted by Aaron Bleyaert July 2, 2009 1:08 PM
It is super quiet here in the office today.  Conan is out doing something Conany, Andy's out of town being all Andyey, and everyone else left early. We shot a new Thursday video, which should be up shortly (it'll appear in the "Featured Video" section at the top when the machines spit it out), and that's about all that happened today.  Oh - I went to In n Out Burger with Jordan, and got a 4x4... And I feel like I've been punched in the stomach by a fist of beef!  In a good way, of course.  ;)

Well... That will about do it for today.  Enjoy the video!  Enjoy the weekend!  And we'll see you all right back here on Monnnnnnnnnnnnday for another sweet run of ALL NEW TONIGHT SHOWS!!!

See you then!

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I've got Choco Taco on Le Brain...

Posted by Aaron Bleyaert July 1, 2009 2:20 PM
Friends.

I don't know where everyone is getting these crazy ideas, but Max has NOT left the show.  He's on tour with Bruce Springsteen for the next 8 weeks or so.  After that, he will be right back here on our show to entertain you all!  Have no fear.

Now that THAT'S cleared up, let's move on to today's blog!  First off, I must apologise - I was trying to get up a video every day this week, but it's not gonna happen for today.  Sorry, party people.  HOWEVER, I just posted all the brand new signatures of The Wall from last week's guests!  Highlights include Snoop Dogg, the late Billy Mays, and my favorite celebrity Wall autograph yet - 17 year old record setting mountainclimber Johnny Strange!  Very cool.

Again, there is very little going on in the office today. Choco Taco sent over a bunch of their delicious products yesterday that everyone gorged themselves on.... But there's none left today, so people are just milling about, aimlessly. Actually, that's not ENTIRELY true - certain departments like booking, research, and music all work weeks ahead, so they're still running on all cylinders... As is the Man himself - Conan's shooting another remote in a secret location outside of Los Angeles today!  That's a hardworking man, right there!  Bam!

Speaking of BAM... Here's your epic battle for today.  Here's the thing, though. I thought all of your suggestions sucked.  Sorry guys.  It's your fault, not mine.  You just didn't bring the heat!  You didn't bring the funk!  You didn't bring... Any good suggestions that I wanted to draw.  Also, I was a little tired of drawing so much VIOLENCE.  So instead... I drew THIS:

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Friday, June 26 2009

Snoop Dogg, Jerry Ferrara, Adele

Thursday, June 25 2009

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Wednesday, June 24 2009

Brandon McMillan, Kerry Washington, Wilco

Tuesday, June 23 2009

Lisa Kudrow, Bill Mays, Anthony Sullivan, Elvis Costello

Monday, June 22 2009

Cameron Diaz, Johnny Strange, Pete Yorn

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Blog

Queen Vs. Bear

Posted May 08, 07:39 PM

Here in the Research Department (or the "Smart Person Zone", as I like to call it) we leave our fates up to.. Well, Fate. Each week on the show, we have between 10 and 12 talkie guests - depending on how many standups and bands there are - so that leaves about three guests to research per person. Sometimes, one of us has to do four... But even on those weeks you can luck out, for one simple reason: NOT ALL GUESTS ARE CREATED EQUAL.

I said that in an overly dramatic way, but if you think about it, it makes complete sense. For instance, this week we've lead with Amanda Peet, and we will lead on Thursday with Lindsay Lohan. Now, nothing against Amanda Peet (she was great yesterday!), but there is considerably more press on Lohan. I mean, Lohan is in the news every day... You've all seen the headlines: "Lohan says she's in love with Aaron Bleyaert" or "Lohan Furious That Bleyaert Won't Return Late Night Calls" or even "Lohan to A-Dub: 'Take Me Back!!!'". They're everywhere, really.

Getting back on track, obviously Lindsay Lohan is a big guest to research because we have to read all of those articles... And since none of us want to work harder than we have to (we're all bastards), we can't really just decide amongst ourselves who's reasearching who. So we've taken the choice out of the corrupt greasy hands of mere mortals and turned our fortunes over to the power of Fate.

Since straws are expensive and I value my 20 sided die too much to let it leave my house, the role of "Fate" here in the Research Office is played by a coin! However, this is not exactly your run of the mill "United States Of America In God We Trust" dealybob. Oh no. We've got a special exotic coin that we use.... AND IT'S FROM CANADA Y'ALL!!! WAHOO!!!

Our little decider (insert Bush joke here) is a 1996 Queen Elizabeth II D.G. Regina Canadian 2 Dollar humdinger!! It's got a picture of the Queen on one side, and a picture of a sweet looking bear on the other side. I have no idea why there's a bear on the coin; the only thing I can think of is that it's there to remind people that every full moon the Queen turns into a bear and goes on a murderous rampage. Aaaaaaannnd that's why I don't live in England!

Anyway, because the one side is a Queen and the other side is a bear (aka "the Queen in bear form"), when we're flipping the coin to decide who's going to do who that week, we'll assign a celeb to The Queen or and the other celeb that day to The Bear. Then if we're flipping for me, and it lands on The Bear, I do that guest. If it lands on The Queen, then I do that guest instead! The problem is this: How do you decide who is The Queen and who is The Bear?! It doesn't sound like it would matter, but we're insane and it does.

Today we flipped to decide who's doing who for next Tuesday - our guests that day are Tom Selleck and Jenna Fischer from The Hit NBC show The Office (plugging robot). That one was easy; Tom Selleck is a sexy beast of a man and would clearly be The Bear. Jenna Fischer is a dainty young woman, and so is obviously The Queen. We flipped for Hardy, and she got The Bear. So she's doing the Tom Selleck research. HAHAHAHAHA!!! LET IT BURN, HARDY!!!

Things are RARELY so cut and dried as they are in that example, however... And it can lead to some pretty heated discussions. Take, for example, LAST Tuesday - George Lucas and Will Arnett. Now, you would think that burly George would be the bear and pretty boy Arnett would be the Queen, right? Not necessarily! George has a snow white mane of hair that he flips around, and to many he is Star Wars royalty... A perfect candidate for The Queen. Besides, it could be argued that Arnett is a wildman who in a fight would probably resort to biting and scratching - just like The Bear would! You see what I'm saying here people? It can sometimes be difficult to determine who will play The Queen and who will play The Bear. (In this instance, the moniker was decided by workload - Lucas had never been on the show before, so he was "a bear" to do - I had to read nearly 30 years worth of press to research him!).

You should hear us discuss lunch! It's a wonder ANYTHING gets done around here!

« Back to Blog

Sounds like you have a lot of work cut out for you. :-P

************************************************************************
Aaron Responds: You don't know the half of it, Natalie! I just took a peek at Shatner's file... And let's just say the words "Unabridged Dictionary" come to mind. F that!

Natalie B., (09:47 PM)

Why not use alphabetical order to solve your problem? The guest whose last name comes first in the alphabet will be the bear, and the other the queen.

************************************************************************
Aaron Responds: I'll tell you why: Because it's more fun arguing about which celebrity would kill who! And flipping a coin can be fun, if you do it right!

Kelsey, (10:04 PM)

this is the longest blog i've read about FLIPPING A COIN!!! a CANADIAN coin. this is a summary of your blog...or what i can remember "Oh, it's La Lohan...oooh..Party, YEAH!!! ARRrrrggg Garrrraaaa.....Ladies and Gentelmen, The Queen...Arrrrghhh Grrrrraa Awwwwrrr...Tea anyone?"

oooohh..gotta go. American Idol is on. ciao.

************************************************************************
Aaron Responds: Ah, but see...Without the coin, there would be no Research Department. And without the Research Department, there would be no guests on the show... And without guests on the show, there would be no advertising dollars... And without advertising dollars, there would be NO SHOW!!!

So what I'm saying is that the Queen Vs. Bear coin (or "the Combat Coin") is like alge - without it, nothing else would survive!

Hana, (11:26 PM)

That sounds so fun!
However, I'm terribly sorry you actually had to STUDY Lindsay Lohan.
Hopefully Conan asks her some of the hard hitting questions!
I've always determined I would ask the hard questions to celebrities, and not be content with a "Well, theres a war going on, why do you care?" answer.
Screw THAT.
Like when Hugh Grant was on Leno and that whole prostitute thing was going on. I WISH I could have been Leno when he asked Hugh "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!"
Conan needs to man up and ask those questions! I love him though.And I love you. And while we're at it, I love Tom Selleck, and his fuzzy moustache.

ps Can I get a "Aaron shouted me out on his blog" t-shirt?
K thanks!

************************************************************************
Aaron Responds: Whaaa? Hard hitting questions for Lindsay Lohan? What hard hitting questions are there?! "Excuse me LIndsay - are the drink prices at Hyde really expensive?". Come on, LK!!

Lauren K, (11:46 PM)

I watched the show tonight, although I also recorded it on DVR... I have no problem watching it again!
And to answer your LAST answer, in the last blog (The city so nice they named it twice)
Nothing is really crazy, I mean, other than the wedding this weekend (My uncle Ricky's wedding, who actually reminds me of Denis Leary, whom I hear Conan is related to!) but other than that, this weekend has just been me and my sister relaxing in the GREAT weather!!!

ALSO I forgot to show you this, but I found a quote from Mark Twain that kind of made me chuckle...
here check it out you'd know why it made me think of Late Night!

"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco."

************************************************************************
Aaron Responds: Uncle Ricky, eh? In my mind I have an image of Tom Cruise's character in "Risky Business" like 20 years later! And your Twain quote is extremely accurate!

Lauren K, (02:50 AM)

hahaha sounds like you guys have a good time. If it were between Conan & Max, Conan would be the Queen and Max would be the bear. Nothing against Max, but Conan's prettier. = )

Have you checked out that Conan vs. Bear website? Do you know if Conan has? It's absolutely hilarious! I consider myself a hard-core fan, but I'm nowhere near the caliber of those people.

~~Liz

************************************************************************
Aaron Responds: HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh man. I think you're spot on!

I HAVE seen the Conan Vs. Bear website... It's been around for awhile, no? I'm not sure if COB's seen it, but I know that it made the rounds pretty thoroughly when we first stumbled upon it! It's awesome - some of the artwork on there is really impressive!

Anonymous, (04:33 PM)

Aaron, if you want to impress your co-workers, instead of calling it a "humdinger" called it a Toonie. They will be in awe of your superior Canadian knowledge and how you are clearly the master researcher of all things Canadian. In fact, for the added effect, add 'eh' at the end.

************************************************************************
Aaron Responds: A Toonie, eh? Nice! Thanks for the humdinger of a tip, Luke!

Luke, (04:17 AM)

Hey A-dub,

They used my line about "shoot[ing] goo"! Whoo-hoo!

I imagine that some guests are way, way easier to deal with than others. The Shatner file must be like the complete works of Shakspeare (that's how I spell it, 'cuz I'm all street like dat). I may be promoted to a research position in a couple of months, so we may eventually be doing similar jobs, only--get this--*I'll* be getting paid to do it. (Sorry man, I just had to. Unless you're one of those cool paid-intern types, in which case, more power to us--in the "smart person zone", I mean.)

I noticed that Studio 60 went completely unmentioned during the Amanda Peet appearance. I thought that was...significant. I guess there's some real animosity towards that show inside NBC, huh? "Finally, a show about comedy that isn't funny." That line was gold, and I really mean that, double A.

Don't work too hard at your pretend job, buddy boy. And I say that as someone with a pretend job myself.


************************************************************************
Aaron Responds: More like the Complete Works of Shatspeare!! GET IT?!

I think the reason why there was no Studio 60 mention was more about the fact that there's nothing really to talk about in that area.... I mean, unless she's got a funny story about the show, what would we say? "So... You're on Studio 60... Yeah." I don't hate Studio 60 at all - I just love 30 Rock!!

A researcher, huh?! INTERESTING. Where at?

SOJ, (10:05 AM)

Hi A-dub,

I don't want to give away too much, but I'd be doing research for a Foundation, looking into people who could give money. Don't worry, it's nothing too NGO or sinister--it's all for a good cause, and I wouldn't be the one doing the asking. It sounds like it's kind of the same thing as what you do, only our Research department's reports go to people who solicit folks for money rather than interview them for TV. So it's significantly less fun, but no less stressful. The people making that ask need to know how to sell these folks on why they should donate and how much they can really ask for, so once again, it's all about the Benjamins (to use a tired, old, mid-90's phrase).

Yes, I realized over the weekend that Studio 60 isn't really playing anymore, even though NBC has said they're standing behind the show.

"Shatspeare." OW!

Can you believe the mid-90's were 10 years ago?

************************************************************************
Aaron Responds: Hmmm... Mysterious Foundation, huh? Are you located on an island in the Pacific? Do you spend your time stealing children from a band of crash survivors?!

Welcome to the research world, SOJ. Yes, it IS all about the Benjamins... Or the Lincolns, in my case.

SOJ, (09:36 AM)

hee! I love the blog sounds like everday is hilarious. I was thinking about applying for an internship to Conan. What would you recommend to include in the resume? Keep on blogging :)


************************************************************************
Aaron Responds: Thanks!

Hmm... Well, obviously include any relevant experience you might have. More importantly, I would make the resume and cover letter as professional as possible. The worst thing you could do is try to be "funny" and "cool" in your resume. We don't want interns who want to be writers. We don't want interns who want to be comedians. We want interns who want to be hardworking interns. There ARE interns who have gone on to be writers here, but when they were interns, they were really great INTERNS. People forget, I think, that show business is actually a business - and don't realize that putting on the show is actually a lot of work, not just goofing off all day (although that happens also).

So treat your resume for Late Night like you would any other job; polished, professional... and another word that starts with "p" that means "contains relevant information".

Micha, (05:39 PM)

Hey, Aaron, word up!
I realize that I am over a month late on this, but I would just like to say much grande thank you for replying to my question with the Intern information! Yes, I do love this blog with all my heart pluse more. And yes, that was a tad bit creepy but that’s ok. You’re the bomb diggity-yo and never forget that. (does anyone say that any more? No? Damn.) And I did see you in San Fran but my screams were faded by the wicked wind for I was on the other side of the street…
Any who, my family, including myself, gives you a huge ha-ooh for using a Canadian coin to make critical decisions, you big Loonie you. ( OH COME ON! Admit it, that was funny,eh?).
Ok, that’s all I really had to say. Do you know what you can do for me? Keep being you and have a great day :D

Pip-pip!

************************************************************************
Aaron Responds: Hey, no problem! That's what I'm hear for, yo! I went though a "bomb diggity" phase a while back, but now I'm more into a "that's fresh" or "that's stale" phase. I DO still say "No diggity" every once in a while. Like the Blackstreet song, knowhatimsayin?!

And Canada rocks the HOUSE, man! You guys have produced a TON of hilsrious people! And you make great cheese!! I'm from Michigan, and would always get my pary on in Windsor... Ah yes. Good times, Canada. Goooood times.

And I'm sorry we didn't meet up in SF!!! I have poor hearing... Probably due to all that rocking out in Canada!!

Stefanie P., (04:55 AM)
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