My goal is to hook up with this chick.
I could totally see myself marrying her.
But I'd have to get rid of that dolphin.
I don't like that sinister look on his face.
I don't trust him.
I think he's bad for her.
He looks like the evil twin of a
nice dolphin.
It seems like he's looking right at me saying
"this chick will never go out with you". Well,
this summer I'm going to prove him wrong.
Time to start working out so i can get in
"beach shape". Maybe I'll beat up a lifeguard.
That will impress her. It's going to be a great summer.

Frank

Art can be found in many places. Even on bookcovers.

This is probably the best basketball novel I've ever read. You can tell these guys are really good players. And it's "backboard" magic, not "above the rim" magic, or "nothin' but net" magic. We're talking bank shots off the backboard. Number 8 is missing his left foot. Maybe through the power of magic the other player made his foot disappear. So that he couldn't jump up and block his backboard bank shot. Tracy says he was good at basketball in high school. But I don't think he's remembering correctly. I know I'm better than him.
Gotta pretend to get back to work. I heard Liz yell "Blerg!" from her office. talk next week.

Frank

First up, thanks for your comments about the unicorn piece that was embroidered and had cotton ball-like clouds.
I decided it was too precious to leave at work.
Just Jess, who doesn't like macaroonis - but sorry that piece is not for sale.
Andy in Vermont, cheer up, things will get better.

So check out this new piece I just picked up.
It's a painting on black velvet of a doberman.
I like this doberman, because you can tell he's confident. He's not growling. He doesn't need to.
He doesn't need to prove that he's dangerous. He's a doberman. He knows he's dangerous.
And he knows you he's dangerous.
So he's just taking it easy.
He's so bad ass, he's ripped a whole in the painting!
That's cool.
Don't think I can bring this one into work at TGS either. I think Jenna's allergic
to dog paintings.

Let me know if you like this one.

Frank

Ok. Of all the pieces of art that I collect. This is one of my favorites. A young unicorn and an adult unicorn. You just don't see that that often. And they're sitting on clouds made out of some puffy type material. Notice how the puffy material extends BEYOND the edges of the frame. THAT'S GREAT ART! When the frame can't even contain it. Jenna offered me what she considered a lot of money for this - $5. I told her "no way". I brought it into TGS because I was going to hang it up in my office. But decided, it's too precious to be left at there. Lutz might steal it as a prank. Jenna might steal because she loves it. Tracy might think they're real unicorns & try to talk to them. So, I've decided to keep this piece at home. It's nice to look at before i got to sleep for the night. Somehow, I think Liz Lemon is relieved that she doesn't have to see it everyday. Wait, maybe I will leave it in my office - because if it repels Liz so much - she might not have to come in my office and bug me to get back to work. Now, I'm wondering, what should I do? Let me know what you think?

Frank

This is the kind a dude Jenna probably went out with when she was in high school. A complete tool. He looks like the boy the main girl had a crush on in every Judy Blume novel. He probably doesn't even need glasses. He just wears them because the thinks they make him look smart. Or he's too much of a wuss to put a contact lens on his eyeball. He was probably in the high school band or played guitar really badly, but Jenna thought he was great and she would dream about "making music" with him. I never hung out with dudes like this in high school. I was too busy playing pacman at 7-11 and mastering the pacman patterns i memorized from a book that i bought called "How To Beat Pacman". Thanks for enjoying this charcoal art piece. I gotta get back to writing more sketches for Jenna or Liz is going to take my computer and delete all my video games. Little does she know I just bought a portable hard drive where i store all my video games. And other things.

Keep fighting the system. Talk next week. And next week, I'll remember to answer your comments!

Frank

These two are cool. I think they're a mother & son. Or they're just two buddies who travel the galaxy as they sneak onto spaceships.

I like this guy. I don't know who he is or where he's from. But I do know that he's underappreciated. But not anymore. Because I appreciate him. I imagine he doesn't say much but he breathes heavy.

Interesting fact, these same art pieces were talked about on a talk show called Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, by a guy who looks almost identical to me. You can see the video footage here: http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/video/
And you can even see blogged about here: http://judahfriedlander.com/gallery.htm

Thanks for embracing the arts.

Talk soon.

Frank

That's right, it's a Hogan Ball. A bunch of identical Hulk Hogan dolls somehow permanently attached together to for a spherical shape. It's really pretty amazing. I'm going to leave it by my desk. Now, when i have to leave my desk, no one will mess with it. Because the Hogan Ball will be guarding it. I recommend everyone get one of these. It can change your life for the better. I should make a Rocky Balboa Ball and have the balls go at it and re-enact ROCKY III. Or it can be the rematch between the Italian Stallion & Thunderlips!.The Ultimate Man vs. The Ultimate Meatball! I guarantee you, that's the most Rocky III references you will read on any blog today. Even Liz hasn't seen my new Hulk Hogan sphere of justice yet. Now I'm going to go outside and get a gyro sandwich on the corner before the line gets too long. AND, I'm not going to worry about Lutz or anyone else messing with my desk. Because the Hogan Ball will be there watching. Take it easy. Frank

This is the type of chick that is probably considered "great-looking" by a lot of people. But I'm not feeling it. She's kind of scary to me.

This is the kind of chick I'm talking about. Nice. Curvy and a little weird-lookin'.

Ya see, Liz Lemon thinks I'm always looking at porn. Not true. I look at art. Oil paintings mostly. I don't know if she'll realize that I'm classy. Gotta get back to writing more sketches for Jenna. Yes, Jenna. That's part of my job, writing sketches for Jenna. It can be pretty demanding.

Talk soon.

Frank

Ok. So, I think this is the new perfect woman I'm looking for.

A woman with a giant stork on her shoulder. I like a chick that birds like.

This is not an easy chick to meet or hook up with. Mainly because it looks like she's sitting on the highest mountain peak in the world. I don't even see any mountain or valley communties around her. This will definitely be a challenge. I'll have to borrow my friend's spaceship to find her. Or maybe, I'll take a hot air balloon class. Then steal the balloon and go looking for her. But first I have to write 4 sketches for Liz. If you know anyone who has a hot air balloon or hang glider that they want to get rid of, let me know.

Talk soon.

Frank

Sometimes, even in this high technology age, VHS is still the best.
This is one of my favorite vhs video boxes. The guy on the left looks like Stallone in Cobra - or Marion Cobretti as he's known in the movie. This is a movie that the parents in the family portrait that I posted last week, would definitely not watch. I think it's a movie Liz Lemon would yell at me for watching. But if I lent i to her, I think she'd love it. I can look at this video box for hours. I find it inspirational. As bad as some people say it is, it's better than the movie. But I love it, because theres something entertaining aobut it. One of the nice things about TGS, is that some of our equipment is so old, some of your offices have vhs players. So...cool.
Talk soon.

Judah

Nobody's family is perfect.

But this family is trying way too hard.

Personally I think the parents are 1970's porn actors. And the little ones aren't even their kids. I think their real kids ran away when the parents were high. And I don't think these adults the type to ever lock their doors. So, the kids in this painting, just started hanging out their house because they always had food laying around. But on picture day, these adults were able to keep it together long enough to almost look normal family. This family is definitely hiding something. There's no way they're that lifeless and happy.

I'm glad I didn't grow up in this family. All right, gotta write some sketches that star Jenna for Liz. It wasn't my idea. But it's my job. Gotta work to keep up my videogame habit.

Frank

This just might be the coolest new painting that i have. A spaceship safely flying in space while a couple of planets are colliding. I'm guessing the desert-like planet is either mars, or some planet that we haven't heard of yet. The wooden frame is really nice too. It's naturalness makes this "fantasy" painting seem all the more real. And paint on black velvet is the correct fabric for this painting.

If you look in the background, you can see how messy my apartment is. Liz often complains that my office is too messy. But compared to my apartment, it's spotless.

Talk soon.

Frank

Hi guys.

First up, Cooper Black, thanks for making sure I didn't forget about the smurf. Good call. And Wowser, thanks for the tips on all the hot Croatian girls. Couldn't agree with you more.I'm listening to a learn to speak Croatian cd as I type this.

And, as you all know, I'm quite the art collector. Here's a pretty nice piece that's made out of yarn. There's just something about making a rug, and then framing it, that works. I'd be smiling in the picture, but sometimes it's hard to be the photographer & the model at the same time. But I think I pulled it off. I think I might have to hang this one up in the office.

Keep it sexy.

Frank

I was hoping to get a time machine for Xmas. Didn't get it. But if I had a time machine, I would go back to 1840 in Yugoslavia and hook up with this chick.

She would be easy to impress, because I'd bring about 50 bucks with me, which would be worth about a hundred thousand dollars back then. But it might be difficult to go out on a date with her, because I don't think her Mom would approve of me.

So, maybe I'll go to Soho and try and hook up with this chick.

Well, I have to write 2 sketches for Liz within the next 30 minutes. I wish I had that time machine, so I could go back in time 3 hours & work on these sketches that are due. For the past 3 hours, I was playing JOUST, the classic arcade video game on my computer instead of writing the sketches. Oh well, talk soon.

Frank

Hi guys.

Here's a picture of the xmas tree i bought for this holiday season. It's a little on the small size. Because let's face it, the economy sucks and we're in a recession.