Frank Talk on NBC

May 31, 01:09 PM

Crazy Week


Well, it's been a crazy week. The Doctor killed the alien growing out of my foot. I stayed indoors with my bandaged foot for 4 days straight. On the 5th day, I was finally well enough to go outside & walk around on my crutches.

1crutches.jpg

I thought for sure with my crutches, I was going to be able to pick up tons of chicks. But nothing. Nothing. Couldn't even get an old lady to hold a door open for me at the grocery store. There's a lot of cold heartless women out there.


After 7 days, I went back to the Doctor so that he could remove the bandage I had on all week. I had to keep the bandage on all week. Couldn't even take a shower. I really started to smell. But I kind of liked it. I felt I had a personality of mine coming out that hadn't really come out before, at least not that loudly.

Anyway, here's a picture of my foot. And, I'll warn you again, you might find it gross.

2FRANKfootweek2.jpg

It looks like the Doctor killed the alien in my foot, and some of it's guts are still hanging out in the black crater on my foot. The crater looks like a black hole. I think I'm going to write a movie about a guy (me) who has a black hole in his foot that is actually a time portal to another dimension where there's tons of really hot chicks who like dudes on crutches!


Oh, and thanks for the movie recommendations everyone. But I couldn't watch any, 'cause I couldn't get out of my house.


So, the Dr. re-bandaged my foot, & said I have to leave this one on for another week. So that'll make it two weeks in a row without showering. Cool!


Talk to you next week.

Frank

Comments (27) permalink
Posted by Frank Rossitano at 01:09 PM

COMMENTS

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Hi Frank,

I'm catching a whiff of your aroma, your essence, your manhood. It IS enticing.

Here's to getting better and no more crutches. Great seeing you and the gang on 30 Rock again. The shows are even better the second time around. Here's to a great summer and no more aliens in the feet.
Love, Shirlita

Posted by Chick Shirlita
May 31, 2007

I am so jealous! I wish I could see it in person. You should charge people to look at it, like Tom Sawyer.

Posted by Laura
May 31, 2007

It seems there used to be a TV spot for a video delivery service, and it was voiced by a guy who sounded a lot like Jack Donaghy. Then it disappeared.

Anyway, if you're left to stew in your Frank Funk for another week, maybe you'd prefer books.

The Golem's Mighty Swing - James Sturm
It's a graphic novel about a novelty minor league baseball team in the 1920's

Flying Dutch - Tom Holt
A seafaring tale about immortality, insurance, and beer

Will Cook for Sex - Rocky Fino
Turns out cooking isn't just a way to keep from starving; it's also a surprisingly effective mating dance!

Then again...with that grey coming in on your chin, you won't need cooking skills to attract the ladies. HOTT!

Posted by Holly H.
May 31, 2007

Hey..."Frank"~
Your original alien is definitly grosser than the crater it left in your foot. Was reading your blog and just thought I'd answer your question.
P.S. I'm on crutches too! I was climbing a tree and I fell out of it. yeah.
I dislocated my kneecap.
I thought the crutches would get me some action too...no such luck. I don't think I want to live in a world where being on crutches and having a huge brace on your leg (or foot, as the case may be) doesn't at LEAST get you some decent flirting...

Posted by JCC
June 01, 2007

More News of the Frank Footer makes me yearn for some Famous Lunch chili dogs.

Well Frank, dosen't look like you will be stalking the stalker anytime soon.

What is the green stuff in the middle of the wound? I still say tape some garlic to it. Garlic is as good as ten mothers, so they say.

Visualize hot chicks helping you I hear that is the secret ,That and good hygiene. Hey if you are into sausage mitts i could give you Trixie's number .
Peace be with...

Posted by Andy in Vermont
June 01, 2007

Last week's foot was way grosser. My big sister's kid has an alien growing out of his throat, it's freaking awesome. Not quite as bloody.

Posted by Lex10
June 03, 2007

I took a look at both pictures again today. To my eye the pre-slash and burn picture looks like Little Richard and post op looks like Elvis.

what do you think martina?

Posted by Andy in Vermont
June 04, 2007

dude, check it out i just ordered some of those MM's with fart nuggets written on em.
man you are going to make so much coin when the movie comes out. Hurry up and pencil out the plot....
This is freaking genius it would be really cool if they were like.

Posted by Andy in Vermont
June 04, 2007

The crutches are hot.

I want your hats.

Posted by Laura
June 05, 2007

Frank,

Get well, Get well soon, we want you to get well!

(If I remember correctly, those are the lyrics to the Seinfeld "Get Well Song"....

I hope that helps your foot :)

I also hope your foot injury is just an elaborate blog w/ SPFX makeup.....1st photo is much more repulsive.
Sorry....

Posted by Kimberly
June 05, 2007

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