If you win the Emmy, I look forward to you thanking me, the Banker, in your acceptance speech. We both know I'm the one who should've received that Emmy nomination. No sour grapes here. Just don't forget me on Emmy night.

Still vacationing in Paris,

The Banker

Indiana does look pretty from the air, when flying over it in my private Gulfstream G550 jet at 35,000 feet to important world destinations like New York, London and Paris. Speaking of which, I'm currently on holiday in historic Paris. As I write, I am sipping a fine Bordeaux on the balcony of my $3500 a night suite. I'm literally a stone's throw from the Eiffel Tower.

It's great to have money.

Au Revoir,
The Banker

I chuckle when I think of all the contestants who blew it! Remember Katie Henslin from Minnesota? That airhead had the million in her case, yet she just couldn't pull the trigger! I LOVE IT!

Oh sure, I had a few scares here and there. But ultimately I won every battle. It's been such a truly profitable year, this summer I plan to renovate my office for next season. It's going to be gorgeous.

I'm raising my champagne glass and making a toast. "Here's to all of season three's misguided, foolish contestants. You make my heart pitter patter. You complete me."

Oh, and to you bloggers... keep those postings coming. I read everything you write and I'll be responding to your ridiculous postings throughout the summer. You all amuse me.

Thanks for the good times,

The Banker

For your information, I do NOT have a "saggy neck" or "wrinkly skin." I moisturize daily. And even if I were aging, it wouldn't matter. Every day gorgeous, "perfect 10's" throw themselves at me for one simple reason. I am RICH! (Oh, and some of these 20-something beauties are young enough to be my granddaughters. It's quite flattering.)

So, go ahead and take your cheap shots at me, Martha.
I see right through you. I know the truth. YOU WANT ME!

"catch me if you can."

The Banker

If you get the opportunity to face me one day on the show, I am MORE than prepared to annihilate you. So, be careful what you reveal on this blog. Don't be stupid, bloggers like "dollydeb," "LB," "marsha marsha marsha," "Case 27," and the rest of you... I will use everything you write on my blog against you! Let this be a final warning.

The Banker

TO "LB" whose co-workers made her "Deal" charm bracelets...

Dear LB, I checked out your "Deal or No Deal" charm bracelets and they are quite impressive. However, I must remind you and your clever co-workers that using the "Deal or No Deal" trademark without permission from the show is a federal offense punishable by a heavy fine and perhaps prison. I hope you are not selling those. If you are, enjoy watching "Deal or No Deal" in the clink.

TO LINDA who posted her phone number on my blog, so I may call her to put her on the show...

Dear Linda, anyone who's foolish enough to post her home number online for anyone to see and call is a stooge I'd love to have on the show.
Unfortunately, I'm not in charge of who gets on. I'm only in charge of making sure they leave with as little money as possible.

TO "DOLLYDEB" who asks me if I'm afraid of getting hit by lightening in my office...

Dear Dollydeb, unlike you, I made the sensible decision to live in a city with beautiful weather year round. So, I never have to worry about lightening. Every day is sunny in gorgeous Southern California.

Read and learn, The Banker.

1. If you wear a name tag at work, get a new job.
2. If you have a peanut allergy, then you're weak.
3. Marriage is bad business.
4. Men who re-enact Civil War battles are immature.
5. There is no reason to ever whistle.
6. Never befriend a man wearing a fanny pack.
7. Handlebar mustaches are not cool.
8. A "lady" should never be seen entering or exiting a bathroom.
9. If you could eat your pet in a single meal, the pet's not worth having.
10. Money can buy happiness.

Just to prove that I'm a good man at heart, this morning I gave a homeless family with a German Shepard, 73 cents. They were at a gas station near Culver City, where we shoot the show. I didn't have to give them money, but I did. So at least there's one grateful family and a dog that appreciate me!

The Banker

Because I care,
The Banker

I'm talking about true American hero, Army Captain Joe Kobes, who appeared on last night's show and won $78,000. While I'm never happy to see a contestant leave with my money, I can honestly say there isn't a more deserving player than Captain Joe Kobes, who has put his life on the line in Iraq to defend our freedoms.

Thank you Captain Joe Kobes for your bravery.

The Banker

I'm particularly interested in the angry posting from "Marsha Marsha Marsha" on Friday April 18th. No offense, "Marsh, Marsha, Marsh" but just because I'm a Banker doesn't mean I'm to blame for people defaulting on home loans. I resent your derogatory, mean spirited comments. Some of us Bankers are good men. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!

One thing is clear from your emotional posting, "Marsha Marsha Marsha." I would CRUSH you in a game of "Deal or No Deal." You are the perfect example of an overly emotional woman. (You remind me of an ex-wife.) Emotional contestants always crash and burn in this game.

You did make one good point in your posting. I agree that I am a role model. Learn from me.

The Banker

Your generation has absolutely no work ethic and you don't know the value of a dollar. I can't wait to watch you flounder in the real world after graduation. I despise lazy, spoiled college kids.

The Banker

Unlike you, I don't have unlimited time in my day to post cute little messages. That said, I do read this blog (I'm contractually obligated to do so). I don't plan on hiring a monkey anytime soon, but if I do I'll be sure to keep you in mind.

The Banker

The Banker

Firstly, I can assure you that I am indeed the Banker not some page or production assistant.

Secondly, I hope you're 13 years-old or younger. Any adult calling themselves "Jimmy" is just pathetic.

Thirdly, you sound very bitter. I understand 10's of thousands of people try out for the show so there's just not room for every "Jimmy".

Fourthly, Happy Holidays.

The Banker