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I'm tired of you bloggers insulting and ripping me to shreds on this site.
Remember, contestants aren't OWED money just for showing up on "Deal." They have to EARN it.

Just to prove that I'm a good man at heart, this morning I gave a homeless family with a German Shepard, 73 cents. They were at a gas station near Culver City, where we shoot the show. I didn't have to give them money, but I did. So at least there's one grateful family and a dog that appreciate me!

The Banker

Note to American "Deal" Models: After watching Howie host the show in the Philippines and seeing their models, you American "Deal" models are really ungraceful. It's something to work on.

Because I care,
The Banker

Rarely do I ever feel humbled. But I've finally come across someone who makes even a man as important as myself feel small.

I'm talking about true American hero, Army Captain Joe Kobes, who appeared on last night's show and won $78,000. While I'm never happy to see a contestant leave with my money, I can honestly say there isn't a more deserving player than Captain Joe Kobes, who has put his life on the line in Iraq to defend our freedoms.

Thank you Captain Joe Kobes for your bravery.

The Banker

I read EVERYTHING you post about me on my blog.

I'm particularly interested in the angry posting from "Marsha Marsha Marsha" on Friday April 18th. No offense, "Marsh, Marsha, Marsh" but just because I'm a Banker doesn't mean I'm to blame for people defaulting on home loans. I resent your derogatory, mean spirited comments. Some of us Bankers are good men. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!

One thing is clear from your emotional posting, "Marsha Marsha Marsha." I would CRUSH you in a game of "Deal or No Deal." You are the perfect example of an overly emotional woman. (You remind me of an ex-wife.) Emotional contestants always crash and burn in this game.

You did make one good point in your posting. I agree that I am a role model. Learn from me.

The Banker

I'd like to say a special hello to the fools at the Sigma Chi Fraternity who stole $128,000 from me on Wednesday, April 16th's show. You incompetents are a disgrace to higher education. I'm furious to know you'll be wasting my money on parties and other frivolities.

Your generation has absolutely no work ethic and you don't know the value of a dollar. I can't wait to watch you flounder in the real world after graduation. I despise lazy, spoiled college kids.

The Banker

Dearest Tim,

Unlike you, I don't have unlimited time in my day to post cute little messages. That said, I do read this blog (I'm contractually obligated to do so). I don't plan on hiring a monkey anytime soon, but if I do I'll be sure to keep you in mind.

The Banker

Well, hopefully we can put this silly Million Dollar Mission to bed tonight. It's getting ridiculous. How easy do I have to make this game for you people? It's like playing squash against someone and agreeing not to use your arms. I mean, come on. If this lady can't win the million tonight, I might as well be facing off against a monkey.

The Banker