Sometimes you got to spice up your love life, literally, with fancy spices like cinnamon and red pepper. I’m talking about food, specifically aphrodisiacs. Ladies if you’re starved for love or just a chunky monkey looking to combine your two passions, here’s a list of my favorite erotic foods:

• Bacon-wrapped hotdogs: I ain’t usually into gourmet junk, but you make me a bacon-wrapped hot dog and I guarantee you’re gonna get lucky.
• Certs: “Turn off the lights and I’ll show you some sparks…” works every time.
• Wegman’s Clam Chowder: Nothing says romance like oysters, but oysters are expensive, so I go for clams which are basically the same thing, but cheaper. Except Campbell’s ain’t that cheap either, so I go with the generic stuff, same sexiness for like half the price.
• Fluff: Maybe you ain’t got the cash for all the ingredients in S’mores, but you still want to get your ooey gooey on… do a little body painting with this stuff. Getting into a “sticky situation” has never been so fun, hehe!
• Jelly Donuts: My patented bar trick: take one jelly donut, suck the jelly out (without puncturing the donut), and you got any guy in the palm of your hands.
• Edible panties: Self-explanatory, except remember if it’s hot, they can get awfully sticky.
• Buffalo Chicken Wings – combines three of my favorite taste profiles: the sweet, the heat, and the meat.

So ladies, if you want to have as much fun as I’m having, open your hearts and your mouths to sexy foods. Just remember, if you’re going to “eat your heart out,” make sure you get some roughage in there too. Bon appetit!