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Meredith's Sex and the Electric City Blog!

The Rules

February 26, 10:57 AM

I started reading this stupid women’s dating guide, The Rules. That book is a joke. Like they say, “don’t stare at a man…” but how do you let a guy know you’re ready to party if you don’t ogle him a bit? And they say, “don’t rush into sex…” but what if that’s the only reason you’re out on a date? I didn’t get much past that, because there were THIRTY-FIVE freaking rules written by a bunch of uptight feminist chicks who don’t know beans about what a man really wants. If you ask me, The Rules are meant to be broken (hehe)!


People are always coming to me with questions on dating: “Meredith, how do I know if a guy is into me?” Um, if you’re boning that’s a pretty good start. “Meredith, he’s playing hard to get, what should I do?” A combination of brute force and alcohol. Anyway, I got sick and tired of listening to everyone bitch and moan about how hard it is to meet a guy and keep him satisfied. And I know, not everyone is blessed with my sexual charms and winning personality, so I decided to make it easy on all of you ladies (and I guess gay dudes too). I’m going to lay out “my rules” of love and lust. If you follow all ten of them, I guarantee you’ll have your choice of the finest cuts of meat.


Rule #1: Always be prepared!


It doesn’t matter if you’re going to work, the free clinic, or a fancy club, you have to be ready if an opportunity presents itself. That means always looking sexy (wear layers – they’re easy to shed), carrying protection, and knowing where the closest hourly-rate hotel is. There are hotties everywhere and you need to be prepared to jump on them, no matter what the situation. Trust me, if you do the groundwork, you’ll be getting worked on the ground in no time.

Permalink | Posted by Meredith

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All good & bad scouts are prepared.
It's our motto.

Neil the sailor (03:23 PM)

Where are the rest of your rules, Meredith? Do I have to wait for #2-#10?

Amanda (04:09 PM)

My favorite animal is steak.

PJ (06:03 PM)

This is absolutely hilarious! How comes up with this?

Charlie (12:36 AM)

*who comes up with this

Charlie (12:38 AM)

Meredith you need a vacation on Brazil!
vitor-from Brazil

vitor (03:46 AM)

Meredith you need a vacation on Brazil!
vitor-from Brazil

vitor (03:46 AM)

Meredith you need a vacation on Brazil!
vitor-from Brazil

vitor (03:46 AM)

cudo :)

pougna (12:01 PM)

you r so scranton area

lori (09:41 AM)

I agree with Be Prepared. I always carry some kind of breath mint, mad money, deoderant, and toothpicks. Lipstick can double for blush and if you heat a pencil with your lighter, it can stand in for eyeliner.

Caroline (02:48 PM)

Hey Office Fans,

I need your help! The pee-my-pants FUNNIEST moments of the "Casual Friday" episode were Meredith's "Wardrobe Malfunctions", to borrow from Janet Jackson's lexicon. Similarly, the brief halftime exposure of Ms. Jackson's (frankly spectacular) breast was indeed the highlight of an otherwise mediocure Super Bowl. (I can't remember who PLAYED, but I [i][b]sure[/b][/i] remember "Ol' Lefty"!) :rolleyes:

Ms. Jackson's "malfunction" happened LIVE, during the Super Bowl, where the censors had zero time to react. MEREDITH's happened in the studio; the censors had plenty of time to edit in a "blur" effect.

NBC is kind enough to send us the Office in HD. For the uninitiated, please allow me to share that we're talkin' a SH*PLOAD of data here. Each frame of a 1080p HD video stream (30 frames/sec) is 1920 (wide) x 1080 (tall) -- a tad over 2 MILLION pixels. Suffice it to say that NBC gave us a LOT of "data"...

"BLURRING" is a common video effect, used to "soften". In the case of censorship, a blur effect is used locally and selectively to obscure certain sexual -- or, as in case of Meredith's Junk, [b]disTURBing[/b] -- images. There's a COUPLE of ways to achieve blurring in digital video. Some leave "blocky" artifacts, some "smudge" pixel detail. REGARDLESS, a simple set of equations are used to "blur" the image. Like I said... NBC gave us a LOT of data... If we know the EQUATIONS, we can run the pile o' data NBC gave us backwards THROUGH the same equations and remove the blur. Yes, we have the technology. If we WANT to, we can see Meredith's Junk in the same exquisite HD detail as we witnessed "Ol' Lefty"!

So... this is where I need your help. I have "Casual Friday" TiVO'd (got all the data); I can guess (by lookin' close at a couple still frames) WHICH blurring algorithm was used; After that, it wouldn't take long to undo the equations, bringing the full glory of Meredith's Junk into focus. This is my question:

[size=4][b][color="#FF0000"]SHOULD I DO IT??? [/color][/b][/size] :huh: :blink: :huh: :o :blink:

My fear is that -- in the "bending over the copier" scene -- the images revealed could be too shocking, too horrifying to be viewed ("Pilar of Salt" time). I'm thinkin' ZZTop smushed between two oversized dinner croissants (flaky and oozing butter). I could suggest that Meredith's frontal peek-a-boo shot may resemble a tennis ball in a tube sock, but that would be hackneyed and frankly, I think Meredith kinda got it go-in' Oo-on up top, yo!

On the OTHER hand (and to be completely FAIR), her stuff may well a Brazilian paradise, one that [b]awes[/b] and [b]inspires[/b], and her "up top" perhaps [b]just [/b]as stunning as young Janet's at Super Bowl XCVII. (Frankly though, MY money is on ZZ and the tube sock!)

Even if I DO reverse the blur curse and render the video, I couldn't POST it on DMI 'cause of the strictly PG-13 mentality (a mentality I fully support BTW). HOWEVER, if enough CONSENTING ADULT viewers REEEEEAAAAAALLLLY wanna (or mayhaps NEED :blink: to) see Meredith's Junk, I'll do the deed and find somewhere to post the vid... I could even build a gif animation like those in my sig, below!

Whaddaya think? Pros? Cons?!

Anonymous (11:56 PM)

Hey Office Fans,

I need your help! The pee-my-pants FUNNIEST moments of the "Casual Friday" episode were Meredith's "Wardrobe Malfunctions", to borrow from Janet Jackson's lexicon. Similarly, the brief halftime exposure of Ms. Jackson's (frankly spectacular) breast was indeed the highlight of an otherwise mediocure Super Bowl. (I can't remember who PLAYED, but I [i][b]sure[/b][/i] remember "Ol' Lefty"!) :rolleyes:

Ms. Jackson's "malfunction" happened LIVE, during the Super Bowl, where the censors had zero time to react. MEREDITH's happened in the studio; the censors had plenty of time to edit in a "blur" effect.

NBC is kind enough to send us the Office in HD. For the uninitiated, please allow me to share that we're talkin' a SH*PLOAD of data here. Each frame of a 1080p HD video stream (30 frames/sec) is 1920 (wide) x 1080 (tall) -- a tad over 2 MILLION pixels. Suffice it to say that NBC gave us a LOT of "data"...

"BLURRING" is a common video effect, used to "soften". In the case of censorship, a blur effect is used locally and selectively to obscure certain sexual -- or, as in case of Meredith's Junk, [b]disTURBing[/b] -- images. There's a COUPLE of ways to achieve blurring in digital video. Some leave "blocky" artifacts, some "smudge" pixel detail. REGARDLESS, a simple set of equations are used to "blur" the image. Like I said... NBC gave us a LOT of data... If we know the EQUATIONS, we can run the pile o' data NBC gave us backwards THROUGH the same equations and remove the blur. Yes, we have the technology. If we WANT to, we can see Meredith's Junk in the same exquisite HD detail as we witnessed "Ol' Lefty"!

So... this is where I need your help. I have "Casual Friday" TiVO'd (got all the data); I can guess (by lookin' close at a couple still frames) WHICH blurring algorithm was used; After that, it wouldn't take long to undo the equations, bringing the full glory of Meredith's Junk into focus. This is my question:

[size=4][b][color="#FF0000"]SHOULD I DO IT??? [/color][/b][/size] :huh: :blink: :huh: :o :blink:

My fear is that -- in the "bending over the copier" scene -- the images revealed could be too shocking, too horrifying to be viewed ("Pilar of Salt" time). I'm thinkin' ZZTop smushed between two oversized dinner croissants (flaky and oozing butter). I could suggest that Meredith's frontal peek-a-boo shot may resemble a tennis ball in a tube sock, but that would be hackneyed and frankly, I think Meredith kinda got it go-in' Oo-on up top, yo!

On the OTHER hand (and to be completely FAIR), her stuff may well a Brazilian paradise, one that [b]awes[/b] and [b]inspires[/b], and her "up top" perhaps [b]just [/b]as stunning as young Janet's at Super Bowl XCVII. (Frankly though, MY money is on ZZ and the tube sock!)

Even if I DO reverse the blur curse and render the video, I couldn't POST it on DMI 'cause of the strictly PG-13 mentality (a mentality I fully support BTW). HOWEVER, if enough CONSENTING ADULT viewers REEEEEAAAAAALLLLY wanna (or mayhaps NEED :blink: to) see Meredith's Junk, I'll do the deed and find somewhere to post the vid... I could even build a gif animation like those in my sig, below!

Whaddaya think? Pros? Cons?!

Anonymous (11:56 PM)

eww

me (11:53 AM)

eww

me (11:53 AM)

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