Meredith's Sex and the Electric City Blog!

Dieting

September 25, 10:05 AM

meredith_margarita.jpg

We just finished this whole branch versus branch weight loss competition thingy at work. It was hell for the fatties. Hell for me too, mostly ‘cause I had to listen to them bitch and moan. I get it. Dieting is tough. Stop killing my buzz. Normally, I would’ve just ignored the dieters, but I decided this was for a good cause (extra vacation days), so I tried to do my part, not that I needed it! I’ve been looking good lately, but I decided to limit myself to clear liquids only and no chasers, to cut down on the calories. And from what I remember, I was pretty good about sticking to the plan.

Here’s the thing though, dieting alone, won’t do nothing. Back in the day, before being a curvaceous mommasita was sexy, I did all the yo-yo diets: the Top Ramen and canned tuna regimen, the mustard sandwich diet, even the Alpo plan. I can tell you, none of them work. If you want to keep the pounds off, you can’t just change what you eat, you’ve got to change your whole lifestyle. I know what you’re thinking: “Mer, no matter how many times my friends and family sit me down and harp about how I’m hurting them, I just can’t seem to shake my bad habits.” Well, do what I do, tell ‘em all to go to hell and do it your own way.

I used to go straight from work to my neighborhood dive. Not anymore. Now I walk there. I get some good exercise and don’t have to worry about swallowing a half-roll of pennies to fool the breathalyzer. Sometimes Jake even comes with me. I mean, he doesn’t come to the bar with me. He’s 15! And I’m a good mama. I fix him a tall glass of milk and bologna sandwich, before he goes, wherever the hell he goes.

Not only does walking mean more Q.T. with my cutie, it also helps me watch what I eat. By the time I get to the bar, the happy hour deals on food are finished. Do you really think I’m dumb enough to pay six bucks for a chimichanga? No @#$%ing way. I’ll pass on the fried food and stick to booze and cocktail olives, thank you very much. So it turns out the key to a healthy lifestyle, is as simple as a little walking and being broke as the Liberty Bell.

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I'll have to remember that swallowing pennies trick.

Jonny (10:45 AM)

Wow! That's all it takes! Thanks for the tips! :-)

Kat (11:05 AM)

I strongly support the whole "clear liquids" part of dieting, which is why I stick to vodka waters. The way I look at it, this is the best drink possible because the water helps to hydrate yourself and the vodka provides the liquid courage to dance. After about 8 drinks (that's my intake goal because people always say you should drink 8 glasses of water a day) you're fully hydrated and burn off more calories on the dance floor! Plus, skipping the buffet table and dancing helps attract the men. Remember, no one wants to talk to someone stuffing their face when they can talk to someone who's the life of the party!

kelly (11:50 AM)

Hopefully Jake and Wendy are well.

Traverse (01:26 PM)

Hopefully Jake and Wendy are well.

Traverse (01:26 PM)

Like the Pic

col33 (02:56 PM)

Where did you take this pic at?

diahern (05:33 PM)

Where did you take this pic at?

diahern (05:34 PM)

hey, it looked like you had quite a sunburn on your face tonight--what happened?

Jim (07:16 PM)

Who might one have to sleep with in order to obtain one of those giant margarita fiesta goblets?

ms. christine (08:08 PM)

Did you get a chemical burn on your face?

Toby (10:37 PM)

what was up with your face on last night's episode? were there deleted scenes that will explain this?

Heather (11:28 PM)

What happened to your face in the episode?

Sally O'Malley (11:29 AM)

I think I'll try the clear liquid-no chaser diet.

Tracy (02:12 PM)

I think I'll try the clear liquid-no chaser diet.

Tracy (02:12 PM)

what happed to your face

Anonymous (06:14 PM)

what happed to your face

Anonymous (06:14 PM)

Awesome blog!

Katherine (09:40 PM)

Yes, please answer the face issue. I noticed this and played it back on the DVR. Sorry to pry if it's a real circumstance.

Chris (10:30 PM)

What was with your face? It looked like you tried to make out with a wasp's nest.

Wayne Train (03:45 PM)

Mer - not only are you a diet guru, but also a parenting role-model. Thanks for being part of the Solution. db

db (07:32 PM)

Mer - not only are you a diet guru, but also a parenting role-model. Thanks for being part of the Solution. db

db (07:32 PM)

this is dwight shrute. hello.

Anonymous (08:01 PM)

this is dwight shrute. hello.

Anonymous (08:01 PM)

Right on, sister! Walking to the bar helps, especially if bar hopping. I like the size of your margarita! Could use one right now.

Joe The Plumber (Not the one on the news) (05:16 PM)

Being of the slender body type, I can offer some helpful hints to men out there looking to knock some notches off their belts. Stop drinking beer. I've found Ever Clear works so much faster, and in general you only need one shot. Some states it's illegal to buy, but there's always someone who has some. Remember the point of drinking is to get drunk, not fat, and beer is liquid bread. Also, my regular diet of pop tarts and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches keeps me a slender 150 lbs with a 30 inch waist, along with exercise like riding my bike because I have no car. Sure, I'm lightheaded and dizzy a lot of the time, but we call make sacrifices to look good naked.

Speedy Clint (06:30 PM)

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