NBC.com

November 26, 02:07 PM

The Spying Tree

Surrounding us are networks of undercover agents that go undetected by the average citizen. I, however, am not the average citizen. I have the rare ability to detect spies using a finely honed sense of paranoia. This gift never fails me, as demonstrated a couple weeks ago when Mose and I came across some spy equipment.

We were completing our weekly militia training (which we see as fulfilling an American duty) in the woods. While doing our usual rife drills, I instinctively missed the target (a scarecrow dressed as Sean Penn). My bullet ricocheted off a tree in the woods with an alarming “ding.” In an instant Mose and I were on the ground with our rifles pointed. We cautiously crawled toward the tree for inspection. It looked like this:

Initially we thought it was a camouflaged nuclear anthrax rocket, or anthrax rocket with a conventional warhead, or, perhaps, most disturbingly, an actual metal tree. But after hours of poking it with a stick and throwing rocks at it, it became obvious that it was a device used to spy on me. Clearly the work of the Russians, Russian Separatists, Al Qaeda, Jim, We Got the Beets (a rival beet supplier), or some combination thereof.

Ever since I checked out Harriet the Spy from the library for Mose, I’ve suspected that I was under surveillance. After dark, Mose and I crept into the woods and took down the tree. Breaking through the surrounding wires and cement was not an easy task, in part because Mose digs with his hands and teeth.

The following day, the police blotter of the local paper listed a report that someone had vandalized an artificial tree that served as a cellular phone company antenna. Since wireless providers have 128,000 antennas made to look like trees across the country, this seemed plausible. A little too plausible if you ask me. Thus further investigation will continue.

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They are watching us Dwight, they really truley are. Its scary what "the man" does to try and keep us down. Check this link out;
http://www.geocities.com/emoorehead_bccw/deprog.html
just one more affront against our freedoms. Come on dwight, Mahlegeth needs you. Don't turn your back on your friends. I know that you left us after that one incident on campus. We forgive you. Its time to forgive yourself, you know Mahlegeth doesn't care; he devours everyone! Both the contrite and aloof will end up in his monsterous gullet.

Dwight -- the spies are amongst us everywhere! Check out http://cellularpcs.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=3 . My good friend and colleague, Jonathan Kramer from LA, has researched this very topic and has found spies amongst us EVERYWHERE!!! (Interestingly enough, every time we get closer to these espionage devices, our cell phones work so much better ... hmmmmm)

In the spirit of spreading christmas cheer id like to share this hilarious comedy clip with you guys..
http://effinfunny.com/sketch-n-funny/a-very-afghan-christmas
by far the funniest christmas clip ive seen this season.

Hey Mr. poop,

I can see you're still a freak. Next time I'll come to the office, I advise you to hide your bobble head from me if you care for it.

Not sincerly,

Your nemesis.

I bet I know who is watching you, Dwight. Details here:
http://uncubicled.com

So you found the tree Mr. Shrute. Well done. I must say you are quite tenacious and it has paid off. Only time will tell who will gain control of the beet world.

GO GET 'EM, Dwight!

it's probably just bush trying to get in some last minute spying before he leaves office. Stick it to the man dwight!

You are quiet the genius Mr. Schrute. I trust you with my life and to protect us all from those responsible for these "trees".

You are quiet the genius Mr. Schrute. I trust you with my life and to protect us all from those responsible for these "trees".

Sniff them out, Dwight.

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