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May 22, 09:27 AM
The Curious Rise of Tentacle Sex in Manga
Salutations, weblog reader. I hope you are reading this at home and not during working hours because this weblog entry has nothing to do with your job, unless you are an anime scholar, sexual education expert, cultural examiner with a focus on bizarre sexual matters, or a marine biologist. If you do not hold one of these jobs, please stop reading and continue in the privacy of your home where your time belongs to you. You may also proceed to read this if you are self-employed, but that is a slippery slope.
As you are well aware, I am interested in the representational arts of Japan, most specifically manga or, as it’s more commonly known in America, anime. While purchasing some new reading material recently, my manga got mixed up with another customer’s items and I ended up with several titles that I did not originally select. At first I was incredibly upset at the idiot behind the counter who let that happen. It makes sense that he’s working retail. Real salesmen don’t mess up orders. After fuming for a while, however, I was reminded of something Grandpa Mannheim used to say: “When life gives you lemons, find a way to turn those lemons into a profit, even if it means donating the lemons to charity in order to get a tax write-off.” I decided to use the misplaced manga to enrich my knowledge in general and discover some new artists and writers. This turned out to be a mistake.
The comic books that the other gentleman was purchasing were of the “hentai” sub-genre. Hentai is disgusting. It is Japanese comic pornography and it is completely inappropriate. What disturbed me most about this man’s choices were that they were exclusively of the shokushu goukan variety. For those not familiar, shokushu goukan is the Japanese term for tentacle rape. These comics feature Japanese women getting taken advantage of by octopi. I truly do not understand their appeal. Octopi are, by their very nature, non-sexual creatures. After they reproduce, both the mother and father octopus die within a matter of months. What’s sexy about that? To chronicle the sexual nature of an octopus is as pointless as trying to find a beet weevil in December – it’s just a waste of time.
As I was perusing the contents of the various shokushu goukan comics, I kept happening on the same plot. Woman loves sailor. Sailor goes out to sea. Sailor is killed by giant octopus. Giant octopus rapes woman with its tentacles. This plot doesn’t make any sense. It paints giant octopi as if they’re these terribly vindictive creatures, not content to just kill sailors, but also to seek out and infiltrate their women. What do the Japanese have against octopi? What did octopi ever do to the Japanese besides providing a tremendous amount of nourishment in the form of tako sushi? It baffles me. It angers me. It saddens me.
The mighty octopus should be respected, not depicted as some horrible marine rapist. If you need to demonize a sea creature, make it the horrendous jellyfish, which provides not jelly but dangerous stings. I found out firsthand when I was taken to a beach on the shores of North Carolina in my youth. I have yet to return to an ocean beach.
Over the weekend, I will be returning to the shop where this terrible comic literature entered my possession. I will be exchanging it for my favorite manga: Ranma 1/2, the story of a teenaged boy trained from a young age to be a martial arts master, who is cursed to become a girl when splashed with cold water, but returns to male form when touched with cold water. Currently, the reason that it’s my favorite manga series is that there are no horny vindictive creatures with tentacles in Ranma 1/2 and that’s good enough for me.
This marks the end of today’s weblog. Fight Octopi Misrepresentation!
Arigato,
Dwight Kurt Schrute
COMMENTS
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I love Dwight. He's such a stickler-A**l-retentive-zero tolerance FREAK! I love that he parts his hair in that unflattering style, and the German ancestry tales. Thanks for the laughs, Office!
I read this at work while playing online poker. Dwight would you hire me to be your #2?
Tentacle rape is why I don't like my manlovers to use green condoms.
Alas, it's truly an epidemic. I think there are a lot of people out there who genuinely fear such a fate. Pity the Japanese.
And did you end up donating the manga to charity for a tax deduction?
Do you know anything about bear attacks?
Who would win in a fight: A polar bear, or a giant octopus? (Assuming of course the polar bear gets ample time to swim to the surface and breath occasionally.)
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I have yet to find the appeal in these tentacle monsters. But then again, there is plenty more about Japan that I can't quite grasp. I mean, cat girls? (or neko..) What is that all about? I love it, still.
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My dearest Dwight,
I find tentacle rape to be completely inappropriate, but what else do you expect from horny Asian comic artists that happen to draw during wee hours of the morning while eating sushi? It was the logical next step from the humongous breasts they all draw.
Also, I'd like to add that I'm a very petite, strict and severe girl. And even though I lack the bleach blonde hair of your former lover, I think I would be a perfect candidate for your wife. Just something for you to consider. In the meantime I will continue to be an avid reader of your bloggings.
Yours truly,
Christiane (but you can call me Shrutie Pie)
FACT: Ranma returns to male form when exposed to warm water
Dwight Schrute needs to learn his facts.
QUESTION: has a cure for spontaneous dentehydroplosion been discovered yet, because i seem to have a scorching case of it
I thought you preferred girls in hentai.
Didn't you say once that your dream girl was some blue haired anime girl, then went on to say that she was the survivor of monster rape?
Question: Are you at all familiar with the etymology of plurals? The plural of octopus is octopods, from the Greek.
I have come to expect a higher standard of grammar here.
I recommend you learn a little something from this international lovely lady
http://www.hotforwords.com/
Oh Dwight, surely a man of your caliber knows the difference between manga and anime! Did you just fall off the beet truck or what?
Question: is Jim available for casual consensual sex? With Roy?
Fact: I'd like very much to see that. Jim. Roy. Jim and Roy fucking.
... *creepy Kevin grin*
Strange how you wrote this on Thursday, May 22 and posted it at 9:27 am. That's during a scheduled work day. I'm pretty sure that a write up to Corporate is in order.
Fact: Manga is a comic, Anime is a movie or TV series. You're not smart enough, Mr Schrute.
Lucky for me I am currently employed in all the above areas! I am a self-employed, cultural anthropologist and I am currently researching abnormal uses of marine animals for sexual slavery.(I know weird and worrisome right?) Currently we have been working on outreach to the Dolphin community and we are employing artistic depictions to get the word out about this heinous sexual crime they are being targeted with. Manga seems to be their favorite so I have been using a lot of it lately.
I have heard that Octopi are actually pretty vindictive when it comes right down to it. There is particular anger towards the Japanese Television Networks for stealing their offspring and using them for game show events like tossing and relays. So I could see where an Octopus could go ballistic and go after retribution.
I've never even heard of Ranma 1/2. I'm more of a Naruto man myself.
Dwight,
I was the victim of a similar plot. I believe that this is a sinister plot that is being executed by a subversive group to 1) corrupt the minds of benevolent manga readers, and 2) ultimately destroy the revenue-generating capacity of managa books by 'hooking' readers with hentai books.
If my theory is true, they will launch a secondary strike against a more general and vulunerable audience: Beet Farmers! Yes!!! The Beet Farmers!!! As everyone knows, the beet farmer is the backbone of the U.S. Agricultural system.
The unsavory conspiratists will target this group of admirable patriots by sending hentai in place of their seed catalogs, and then when the beet crop is not started on time, the country will fail because of the unavailability of this essential crop! It's totally Diabolical......
I love you Dwight.
QUESTION: How do I treat my bear wounds?
You are very fortunate to not have any firsthand knowledge of the belligerent ways of octopi. I, however, am twice a sufferer of tentacle rape, both times occuring after the pre-meditated murders of my sailor lovers by those vicious, psychotic animals.
I pray that you will never meet these octopi. You would not survive.
I just read this at work. How does that make you feel Dwight?
Dwight,
Are you familiar with the anime 'La Blue Girl?' This too features the act of tentacle rape, but the tentacles featured are primarily those of mutant creatures and demons. The use of tentacle rape in this series offers a bit more substance to the story, as the female protagonist must use her "sexcraft" to do battle with these sex demons.
As appalling and disgusting as thoughtless tentacle rape can be, I believe you may find it has some value if the tentacle rape acts as a legitimate and integral part to the anime's storytelling.
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