January 17, 12:43 PM

Why I Don’t Trust the Craftsmanship of Swedes

I wish a pleasant January to you all. January is usually the month where Schrute Farms undergoes many of its reconstruction projects. During our recent transition into an eco-tourist destination, we opened our farm and its themed-rooms to tourists of all types. This has led to problems. While dealing with the needs of our varied guests, I no longer have time to begin the reconstruction efforts the farm so badly needs. My cousin Mose doesn’t have the initiative to start the projects on his own (although he is quite a diligent worker when told exactly what to do), so until I can get some free time, the farm will remain unkempt.


Additionally, the guests that we have hosted have not treated our belongings with the respect that we Schrutes give to our possessions. The night table constructed by my Great Uncle Gernot has been chipped and scratched as if it were a common scratching post. My familiar dining table has had beet jelly spilled upon it several times and, as everyone knows, beet jelly leaves stains that are entirely irremovable. After discussing the situation with various co-workers, it was suggested that I visit the massive furniture store run by Swedish people (In an effort to not slander nor promote any corporations in this weblog, I will refrain from naming with Swedish furniture store I patronized. Let’s just say that it was a bad “IDEA” that I shopped there).

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Posted by Dwight K. Schrute at 12:43 PM