October 25, 12:31 PM

I Do Not Believe in Lycanthropes

Seeing as it’s the second to last week in October, it seems fitting to discuss the major event that will soon be upon us: the full moon. This cannot taken lightly, as it only happens once every 29 and a half days when the synodic month is reset. It is also not to be taken lightly because of the havoc it creates around the world. FACT: more crime occurs during full moons than all of the other partial moons combined [source: imagination]. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

The full moon is also the time when the mythical lycanthrope, or “werewolf,” emerges. I do not believe in lycanthropes. I put no credence in the theory that a human can change into anything other than a decomposing human. Some of my relatives, however, fully trust that lycanthropes exist. Some have even claimed that they have seen them with their own eyes. They are obviously liars. They would have been devoured and unable to report the sighting. They also say that lycanthropes are especially attracted to Schrute Farm. False. The claw marks that we find the morning after full moons are from real wolves that enjoy the bounty of our farm. They are not from werewolves, no matter what you may have heard. Please do not let these rumors keep you away from the farm – it is beautiful this time of year. If you are seriously concerned, merely stay away from Schrute Farm during the full moon period and return as soon as the lunar cycle has advanced.

Also, do not believe the rumor that a member of my family was injured by one of these “shapeshifters.” What you may be referring to is an unfortunate accident in which my cousin Heindl was mauled by a small sheepdog that was working for my family. The Schrutes have long employed the help of canines as a means of scaring off small vermin. Heindl was very rude in his dealings with the dog and was unable to sense that this animal was about to violently attack him. He is an idiot.

No matter how callous this may sound, Heindl deserved the bites and infections that he received. He also learned a very important lesson that day. Yes, he did have to spend a week in the hospital because of the blood loss and the ruined eye, but no, he was not attacked by a so-called “Man Wolf.” I hope this sets your mind at ease. All are welcome at our farm!

That is all.

Dwight K. Schrute

Post Script: Please do not come to Schrute Farm attempting to “trick or treat.” There will be no treats available for you. Also, if you plan to “trick,” be advised that Schrute Farm is private property and any actions with bad intentions will be dealt with as an immediate threat to farm security. You will be maced or bludgeoned and you will be delivered to the doorstep of the Lackawanna County Sheriff’s Office. See how much you like getting your treats in jail, kids.

COMMENTS

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Inconsistencies: Within the blog and the show.

You hunted a werewolf that had turned back into your neighbors dog after you shot it! How is this so if you do not believe? Come on!

YO Dwigh you are in the funniest show ever keep rockin and doing your thing.

p.s. I am a werewolf

Hello Dwight! Ignore all of these skeptics and challengers to your authority. Listen folks, whatever Dwight says is correct, and if you have any problems, you deal with me. I am Dwight's personal ninja, who he has hired in case anyone or anything conspires against him. Do NOT challenge Dwight's knowledge. Since knowledge is power, all hail Dwight.

Didn't you once tell us -ON CAMERA- that you shot a werewolf, but by the time you got to it, it had turned back into your neighbor's dog?

I'm pretty sure I remember the story from a couple years back.

What is it Dwight...DID you once believe in lycanthropes and now you don't, or were you lying to us then, or are you lying to us NOW?

BEARS! BEETS! BATTLESTAR GALACTICA!

Hi Rainn! Missed you at the first ever 'Office Convention'. It was great. Check out the link and video of the ribbon cutting ceremony from bwe.tv. That's me doing my Dwight's speech from the "We Our Warriors" speech you did in season two. The crowd loved it. Your my favorite character on the show. I even dressed up as a "Lackawanna County Volunteer Sheriff's Deputy" in complete uniform from the "Drug Testing" episode for the costume party at the convention. I'll have to send you a picture. Wished I could have gotten the chance to meet you in person, but the convention was great and it was fun to see all the other cast members there.

Best wishes to you and all the cast and crew at "The Office" I love the show and wish you all the future success.

Your Fan in Michigan,
Jordan

Here's the video link.
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2007/10/29/bwetv-goes-to-the-office-convention-andy-sings-and-jan-shines/

Go to this website, sign up and have fun. If ur a true Office fan youll go here and have lots and lots of fun.

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Nice blog. It's the first time I've ever read it. Kinda,... bizarre, but oh well. Anyway, I think you & Angela are a much better couple than who she is with now. *hugs*

Fact. Lycans do exist.

Question. Are you familiar with Ambras Syndrome?

Fact. No. I thought so.

Dwight, this is the Cointelpro unit of the FBI. You are instructed to challenge Col-Bear, Stephen Colbert, the bear-hating satirist. Remember, Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica (circa Dirk Benedict, Starbuck should never be female) is a strong platform.

We have started an initiative to this end

http://www.sanchezcircuit.com/main_articulators.html

Schrute Nation Unite!

The Rabbi

You are correct. Lycanthropes do not exist. Everyone should repeat this to everyone they meet. And don't carry a silver tipped walking stick. No good can come of it.

Last night's episode was funny, because just recently, my older sister asked if she could make her own Second Life account!

Why would you stick a sick cat into a freezer? Lol my parents took our sick cat and had it put down like 2 days ago, but Angela probably loved her cat more then I loved mine XD.

Next year, I'll dress like you for Halloween, you're hilarious!
-Eggboy-

How does this blog not have a feed??

ugh. I am so over all the discrepancies this season. what is wrong with the writers?
(who started first at DM pam or jim?, how did michael trade in the sebring if its a company car, dwight saying he hunted werewolves and he shot one, etc.) seriously, you are are really dropping the ball over there!

Dwight, I want to interact with you on My Second Life!!!

Inconsistencies: Within the blog and the show.

You hunted a werewolf that had turned back into your neighbors dog after you shot it! How is this so if you do not believe? Come on!

Dwight, I love you, but I'm confused.
Do you remember that day when Michael went to business school with Ryan and you found that bat in the office? I assume also that you remember Jim being bitten by said bat, and consequently displaying vampiric tendancies? Obviously Jim managed to find help for his problem, since he has not attacked Pam...but you told the camera crews that you hunted werewolves! Remember?

Also, you said that you shot one, but by the time you got to it, it had turned back into your neighbor's dog. If you don't believe in lycanthropes, why do you hunt them?

Dwight, we are soul mates. Really. May I move to Schrute Farms and assist you with your duties? We'd make a lovely team.

Dwight, I am a fan of Schrute Farm beets. They are the best beets available. For Halloween I dressed up as my favorite beet farmer, Mose. Check it out.
http://tiffanytx.blogspot.com/2007/10/halloween-2007.html
FYI - You are my favorite "assistant to the regional manager/beet farmer".

Question: Will you be having the traditional Shrute Farm Neighborhood Candy, Punch, Beer and Hot Dogs Extravaganza (or SFNCPBHD as the local children call it)????

Hey Dwight,

Nice pumpkin!

http://www.tannerhobin.com/personal/official-dwight-schrute-pumpkin/

may i point out that there is a bit of a Come Hither and then BACK OFF ambiguity in this post? "do not let these rumors keep you away from the farm---it is beautiful this time of year ... do not come to Schrute Farm ... [it] is private property".

i just didn't think that you were normally such a tease.

p.s. my mind is otherwise totally set at ease.

i love you dwight! I aggre that if you see an animal in pain, I will put it out of it's misery.

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