nbc.com

March 15, 09:26 PM

WEB LOG

I am no longer calling SchruteSpace a “blog”. It is now being called by its un-compacted name “web log”.

Welcome to my web log.

When I die, here’s how I want my funeral.

I would like Michael Scott to fashion my coffin from Dunder Mifflin paper boxes and duct tape. My pillow will be the cushion from my chair (product # 497 –A8).

I want it to be 6’8” long and 3’ wide with ventilation holes in case I come back to life for some reason.

I would like to be buried with several things.

1) My lover’s cat and/or my lover
2) My bobblehead
3) A cd of the Grassroots “Golden Grass” as well as anything by White Zombie
4) Michael Scott’s hair lock
5) My 2005 Pennsylvania State Fair prize winning beet “The Governator”
6) My spud gun
7) My lover’s Bible
8) My album of sales awards, high school diploma, 2 year Associates degree in Business, business cards
9) Death certificate
10) Garlic

I would like Michael Scott to make a graveside speech. In it he should mention a few things, such as:

“Dwight Kurt Schrute was the best assistant regional manager I will ever have.”

And

“I loved this man more than Andy or Jim or Pam.”
(note: he does not have to include ‘Jan’ in said speech.)

I would like Mose to play Johann Sebastian Bach’s “Toccata and Fugue” on his whirligig.

Cold beet salad with Venison and mustard greens will be the menu. All will enjoy.

I want Jim to get on his knees and beg my forgiveness and while he’s in mid cry Mose will hit him in the back of his head with an oar.

Please make sure these specifications are followed to the letter or I will come back from the grave and
haunt each and every reader of this web log. AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!

In all sincerity that is all,
Dwight K. Schrute

COMMENTS

I'm sure Creed will appreciate you being buried with a Grass Roots CD.

I mean, how about some -beyond the grave ?

Seocu Ferhat

Thank you. Congrats.

You'll never die, Dwight!

Thanks for the information given.

Thanks man..

thanks my brotherr

GOOD!

you don't want to be frozen?

I'm sure Creed will appreciate you being buried with a Grass Roots CD...

I'm sure Creed will appreciate you being buried with a Grass Roots CD.

thanks

Dwight, I was utterly disappointed that you of all people would give up on finding a way to clone, freeze, or portal your way to the future. Funeral? Do they still exist? It's like I don't even know you anymore. thanx

, I notice you've been tagged by one of the Houston Chronicle Mamadrama divas to do a meme on 8 random facts about you. You seem like the kind of person to do this. (Golden Grass and all). Check out http://blogs.chron.com/mamadrama/archives/2007/06/how_fun_is_this_1.html#comments

he said this just after he found out that Ed Truck died from being decapitated

Dwight Schrute makes the world go 'round.
I've decided.

All I read are assertions that the CIA are weblogging

I'm sure Creed will appreciate you being buried with a Grass Roots CD

FINALLY! I've been waiting for a new Web Log for MONTHS! Thank you Dwight!

Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat.
-- Sir Julian Huxley

he said this just after he found out that Ed Truck died from being decapitated

Web Log for MONTHS! Thank you Dwight!

was up dwight!!!! i love your show. your my hero. i am 15 i enjoy your show. my friend steven likes it too. my fav dwight qoute is if you can get anyone to think you care you can get them to do anything for you. i go to school with your picture on my binder and my locker. my friends are like wow he is dumb. i say he is cooler then you all put together. your my best friend go dwight never let the show cancel ever.

This has been addressed, but didnt you want to be frozen?

I personally want my meat dried into a jerky and sent to starving children in thrid world countries

Dwight, I was utterly disappointed that you of all people would give up on finding a way to clone, freeze, or portal your way to the future. Funeral? Do they still exist? It's like I don't even know you anymore.

2ytpfgc1 http://www.1019652.com/285771.html v4hhe4qc5

DWIGHT LIKING WHITE ZOMBIE IS THE COOLEST THING EVER.

THEY ARE ONE OF THE BEST BANDS EVER.

DWIGHT YOU AMAZING MAN.

YOU HAVE RISEN IN MY BOOKS.

XX

no, in the grief counsiling episode of season 3, he said that he would want to be frozen when he dies. he said this just after he found out that Ed Truck died from being decapitated. DWIGHT SCHRUTE IS ALMIGHTY! SO ARE BEETS!!

Google is the best search engine Google

Hey Dwight, I notice you've been tagged by one of the Houston Chronicle Mamadrama divas to do a meme on 8 random facts about you. You seem like the kind of person to do this. (Golden Grass and all). Check out http://blogs.chron.com/mamadrama/archives/2007/06/how_fun_is_this_1.html#comments

Scommettevo che avete speso molto tempo lavorare al luogo. Ha valso la pena di fare;)

Interesting comments.. :D

Stupore! Amo questo luogo!:)))))))

Lo trovo piuttosto impressionante. Lavoro grande fatto..)

ooo! it's one of the best sites ever! :)

Desidero appena dire che e un luogo ben cotto

Ich besichtige deinen Aufstellungsort wieder bald fur sicheres!

9 su 10! Ottenerlo! Siete buoni!

sono eccitato circa questo luogo, buon lavoro!:)

mmm.. nice design, I must say..

Interessare, molto interessante. Come avete fatto questo?

Lo trovo piuttosto impressionante. Lavoro grande fatto..)

Scommettevo che avete speso molto tempo lavorare al luogo. Ha valso la pena di fare;)

aqwmo5o2o9xu rh0z9xp0l8yuyr whg8kj593u50z6r

wbopd5c064bje4f03 ms1ga7gykg79up o6cqxaxoa67qh

184xad0h [URL=http://www.1078678.com/506190.html] meiwo0jotkq57j [/URL] 5ix3x238bv3

You'll never die, alex

Who are you trying to impress by calling it a "web log?" You're just trying to show off because you are the assistant regional manager. I know where you come from, Dwight, and on the beet farm they don't make such garish distinctions.

hi dwight! we really wanna have an office party to celebrate the office finale on may 17th!! we were wondering if you had any suggestions on how to make our party absolutely extreme! by the way, when are you going to tell jim your undying feelings? my mom wants to know.

I commend you for thinking ahead, but come on. You're at the top of your game! Plus, with all those yeast infections going around, I highly doubt it will be you who is kicking the bucket anytime soon.

And why not be buried with your purple belt? Is it still purple, even?

guten tag dwight. wow i did it! i feel like i acompleshed something wow... go to Snakeandsnotshouseoffun.com it rocks!!!!!!!!!!!

So official, Dwight. Maybe I should follow suit and call my blog a Web log.

No, that's just too many letters to type.

Thanks for the idea, though.

Ben O.

evden eve nakliyat

That would be a very tasteful funeral indeed.

Dwight, have you ever thuoght of getting into cardstock modelling? I mean, you work at a paper distributor, so getting some 65 weight should be easy for you, and there are a lot of free models all over the internet that you could just print out, even BSG models.

Hi Dwight, I have been trying to find out a how to send gift from our company to you and your show however it has been extremely difficult to get thru to anyone.
We make something Called the USB Missile launcher and thought it would be perfect for your office, especially now that you have death on mind :-)! Office or cubical wars seem to be a hit at the moment! We can send you as many as you want but just need to know how to do so.
To see the actual item you can go to www.dreamcheeky.com

Toccata and Fugue on a whirligig? You may as well exhume Bach and spit in his face, or play Clair de Lune on kazoos. Unless you mean the torture device, in which case it might be the most brutal baroque, ever.

Violence at the gravesite is not common enough at the modern American wedding. I think that intead of a wake, we should institute mass beatings of anyone who has ever wronged the deceased. Warrants would go out for the arrest of anyone who did not show for their beatings. While some would decry this as Draconian, I feel it would usher us into a new age of decorum and respect, sadly lacking in this depraved society.

Dwight, glad to see you are thinking ahead. I also like the eco-friendly touch of not going with the "traditional" casket and vault combo. I might also suggest you forego embalming since that is not good for mother earth.

You might want to take the next step and make sure these last wishes for your funeral rites (aka Order of Service) are captured in a legally binding will or living trust. Web logs are great, but they may not stand up in a court of law.

PS - the episode where you received the concusion was my absolute favorite.
PPS - I also thought you were great in GalaxyQuest.

very very nice informations... thanks informations.. mr silici

We can, and will stop you.

http://www.geocities.com/emoorehead_bccw/BCCWIntro.html

By the Nine Tongues, Mahlegeth Slumbers
By the Nine Tongues, Mahlegeth Stirs
By the Nine Tongues, Mahlegeth will devour us all.

There are DOZENS of us.
http://www.myspace.com/two_andahalf_fan

they try to stop us, they can't.
www.geocities.com/emoorehead_bccw/intro.html

Hmm, Not sure about the oar thing. I think it should be a cricket bat.

nod

Two Words: FROZEN

I'm not sure Jim will accept being hit with an oar. But he sure will be kneeing and crying on the graveside...

:p

I just bought a great scranton st. patrick's day shirt at: http://www.pixeldstudio.com and I just wondered if The Office ever will do an episode in Scranton PA?

Dwight, when will there be new episodes? I miss watching them every week!

www.image-xl.com

Dwight rules and is the funniest character on the Office.

Speaking of death, I wonder how Dwight feels about Starbucks death on Battlestar Galactica? He did have some serious feelings about Leutenant Cara "Starbuck" Thrace in his web log this past summer about the BSG ship crashing on the island off Lost. I'm presuming he'll be silent on the situation, because it'd be pretty tragic for him.

Oh, and Rainn Wilson was awesome on SNL and Conan!

Grow beets for Borscht!

Dwight Schrute makes the world go 'round.
I've decided.

Dwight, my husband looks a lot like you.. or do you look like my husband?

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c207/heatherama/librarydrop.jpg

I am very surprised in you, Dwight! I was guessing that you would want to be frozen in carbonite seconds before your death so that you live to see the future! That's how I forsee it anyway...

Nate or David should arrange your funeral! I would be nice if you were laid to rest by fisher and sons and Diaz. PS love you in everything you do!

Dwight: In your web blog you neglected to indicate where you would like said burial to take place. The beet farm? At sea? In space? Or would you prefer to be cryogenically frozen until such time as they discover a cure for what felled you so you can be revived and return to your rightful place at Dunder Mifflin?

Are you a good person? To find out, take the test at the website below.

www.goodpersontest.com

your funeral shall be awesome..
your my favorite actor..
check out on nbc.com
my user name is assistant_sensei

let's get married, mkay?

I really think your remains should stay within the Dunder Mifflin building...

I mean, how about some -beyond the grave- loyalty?

I love me a Schrute family funeral! What can I say, I'm a romantic at heart.

Good to see you back on the interwebs, Dwight! Just one thing. I would strongly advise against being buried with Ang- I mean "your lover's" cat, especially if you think you might be coming back to life. Did you not see Pet Sematary? If you haven't, watch it. That's all I'm gonna say. You'll thank me later.

I enjoy reading your Web Log!

LOL! Great entry to come back on. I love the Mose part.

you don't want to be frozen?

You'll never die, Dwight!

I'm sure Creed will appreciate you being buried with a Grass Roots CD.

Everyone out here on the World Wide Web thanks you for posting to your web log.

FINALLY! I've been waiting for a new Web Log for MONTHS! Thank you Dwight!

Post Your Comments Here