July 18, 12:30 PM

LOST BATTLESTAR

Dwight Schrute here with a much belated addition to my ‘blog’.

‘Where the “F-“ have you been!?’, scream my (literally) hundreds of  
readers.

Well, I’ll tell you.  There have been some big changes at Dunder-
Mifflin and I have been busy as a beaver.

[Note:  I know full well that that phrase makes no sense whatsoever.   
Beavers are not busy unless their dams are continually knocked down  
and destroyed by pesky neighborhood kids and/or storms]

Plus with the beet harvesting and my laser tag team (the Gandalfs!)  
making it to regionals, my time has been quite limited.

There is a question that has been eating away at me like a flesh  
eating bacteria or a wolverine.

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THE CAST OF BATTLESTAR GALACTICA CRASH LANDED ON THE ‘LOST’ ISLAND???!!!

First of all, they would have lasers.  Adama would quickly secure the  
hatch for his crew.  The survivors of the Oceanic flight 815 would be  
herded up like little children and inspected like cattle.

“Could these people actually be Cylons!” Starbuck would be thinking  
to herself.  Then she would think, “That one who calls himself Sawyer  
is pretty hot.  I wonder what he would look like swimming in just his  
jeans.”

Starbuck would take Sawyer on a reconnoiter of the island and they  
would visit the swimming hole and start necking.  And then Kate and  
Apollo would stumble upon them and they would all be getting it on  
when a huge crashing would come through the jungle and one of those  
huge unseen monsters would tower above them (the monsters that  
disappeared after episode 8 of season 1) and they would be  
screaming. 

AHHHHH!!!!

Cut to commercial.

Meanwhile back at the hatch, Adama would want to imprison the “Lost”  
cast in the old cave with the creek in it, but president “Roslin”  
would want to reason with them and have both casts mate in order to  
create more surviving humans.

Meanwhile the Cylons would have contacted the Others and they would  
form an “alliance” to destroy all the good humans and especially that  
annoying French woman who lives on the other side of the island.

Starbuck would shoot the unseen monster and Sawyer would say  
something witty and sexy, like “Nice shot, blondie.  Where’d you  
learn to shoot a laser like that?  From watching princess Leia?”

She would say, “Put a sock in it Sawyer” but the attraction would be  
too much for them and they would have to start making out again.

MORE NEXT WEEK  on THE CONTINUING SAGA OF ‘LOST BATTLESTAR™’!!!

Comments (3104) permalink
Posted by Dwight K. Schrute at 12:30 PM