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April 27, 04:04 PM
GOOD MORNING VIET-SCRANTON!!!!!!!!!!
This morning I followed my regular routine:
Woke up at 4:45 AM.
Ate 3 eggs (over hard) with 6 strips of bacon and 10
microwave tater tots (Ore-Ida [which, by the way,
stands for Oregon-Idaho]) with one 24 oz cup of black
coffee (with milk and sugar).
Defecated. (sp?)
Listened to Rock 107. (Which, by the way, is
sponsoring Sammy Hagar's tour [see below courtesy of
the Rock 107 website]
"Sammy Hagar to Rock Montage!
Rock 107 presents Sammy Hagar's "Livin' It Up Tour
2006," coming to the Toyota Pavilion at Montage
Mountain on Sunday July 2nd.
The "Livin' It Up" tour includes all the prime
elements for Cabo Wabo partying. The tour will create
an outdoor Cabo Wabo experience beginning in the
afternoon with a village-like set up that features
bikini girls, body builders, mariachi bands, a
WaboritaT bar, festive food vendors, beach volleyball,
contests and much more. Concert goers will be partying
from the second they arrive as "Sambassadors" greet
party goers as they park their cars and escort them
directly to the party area."
{I can't wait. I can't believe there's going to be a
Cabo Wabo experience there. I'm not sure what that is
but I am on board. I am definitely applying to be a
"Sambassador" as well and enjoying a "waborita T"}
Then I consulted with Mose about the affairs of our
working 40 acre beet farm, Schrute Farms. Seems Mose
had gotten a little behind on our fertilizer payments
(idiot! But I love him) and someone (me) had to go
rectify the situation.
After a half hour workout with my spud gun, crossbow
and throwing stars out at the range, I hit the
showers. 2 OZ of Clairol Herbal Essence later, I was
ready to rock like a hurricane. (No offense to the
good people of Louisiana. None taken. Good.)
It was then 6:30 AM and Dwight Schrute was ready to
head into town and attempt to make Dunder-Mifflin
Sales history by being the employee that was earliest
to arrive at work EVER!
After completing this, my blog, I am off to the races.
That is a mere glimpse of the morning routine that
drives this Schrute to the tippy top of the ladder of
success. I hope it inspires.
That is all.
Dwight K. Schrute
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HEY!!! How does it feel to be ranked #10 in Entertainment Weekly's Top Sidekicks??? My sidekick is a Teddy Bear :)
Wazup Dwight? I love The Office. You and all of the other cast members are hilarious. I'm working on buying a Dwight bobblehead but its kinda expensive around here in S.C. Anyway, good luck on the next season!
Hoy Dwight!
I received my Dwight Schrute bobble head. Its made in China. I'd gladly pay $10 more to support the US bobble head industry. You will all regret the "Made In China" dollars we've sent to China after they come to the aid of North Korea in a shooting war. Other than that, my Dwight Schrute bobble head is tits.
Kristen, I also live in Boise, and I love tots. Dwight I love you. not in a gay way but in a prison way.
Dwight- I wanted to let you know that The Office is the fastest 1/2 hr of my whole week! My roommates and I appreciate you and the Dunder Mifflin Clan.
Dwight,
I live in Boise...Idaho, where your tots were grown. Ore-Ida! Wheeeeeeee
Hi Dwight!
So I was just wondering if you sleep with a Teddy Bear?
I DO!!
Teddy Bears are awesome don't you think?
They are perfect!
YOU SHOULD COME TO SCRANTON FOR THE PARADE NEXT YEAR!
DWIGHT! Your blog is being overrun by spam. The Dwight K. Schrute I know (and love) wouldn't stand for that --- are you sick?
What? You didn't measure your "defecation"
in ounces too??? SLACKER!
a little bit of pamela in my life, a little of jim in my life, a little bit of refer is all i need, a little bit dwight makes me your man. MOMBO NUMER 69. P.S. Thats what she said.
chemically descriptives?vivid Braun energize!- Tons of interesdting stuff!!!
Did anybody notice you can see Dwights pubes coming out of his fly on episode 12?
yea yea thats some chronic shit right there
poop scoop
Dwight --
Think fiber for breakfast. It amazes me that you were able to do the dirty with all that starch and fat.
Fiber man, the future is with fiber.
Love the blog Dwight. Can't wait for the Fall.
Anyone suffering from "Office" withdrawal should check out: http://VaguelyFamiliarJoe.com
Just re-watched the footage of your Christmas party this last year. I think Michael was a jerk for trying to upstage you by giving that ipod for a gift. Dwight, your faithful friendship to him is a testament to your character. He does not deserve such a talented, devoted Assistant Regional Manager. Oh, one more thing. Just like the Schrutes, the Davis's also produce very thirsty babies.
Mmm, bacon. Six strips no less. Just like Michael. Do you cook yours on your Foreman grill? Keep blogging. Dwight wouldn't let online pharmacies sully his blog like this!
Dwight... just because it is the summer doesn't mean that you can't blog anymore!
dwight, i put you in my happy book when i go to interlochen. your workspace was awesome and i crave the office every week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep blogging Dwight. Don't stop now. Thanks for all the laughs. You're the best thing on T.V.
Where are you Dwight? I need my Dwight Blog!!!!!!!!
Dwight,
You're my hero. You're honest and real.
Hey Rainn - I read that you are going to be on Conan with David Lee Roth. Better not tell him that you are a Spambassador or he will kick your pussy ass.
Just kidding dude - I love the office and I think your character is brilliant.
Dwight- I think I have the perfect job for you since this security guard postition is probably now open. Protect us from the world's ten year old girls!
Story: http://kctv.com/Global/story.asp?S=5064364
If I were not married, I would take you on your perfect date. That's right. And I'd be in on it the whole time.
I only have 12 words for you...
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television, North Korea, South Korea, MARILYN MONROE
im really horney do me pam
wam bam thank u pam
dwight, why no blogging after the casino party? just because y'all aren't filming doesn't mean we don't want to know what's going on in your wild world. help us lead more meaningful lives -- blog, dwight, blog!
Dwight you are the funniest guy ever, behind Michael, Jim, and almost everyone else!! Just kidding!
why does dwight always look constipated?
thats not a joke why is that?
ce-reepe
what do you call a helpful lemon?
lemon-aid......coz its of assistance
what do you call lollies in a can?
can-dy.....coz its in a can
heres a joke......
what do u call an alligator who is your friend?
an ally-gator.......coz its on your side
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Dwight,
You are a big ball of cheese my friend!
Dwight,
I was at the movies last night and couldn't help but seeing you in the previews for My Super Ex-Girlfriend. Shortly after that I saw the preview for the new Superman movie. They are having Kevin Spacey play Lex Luther. What were people thing!?!?!?!? Kevin Spacey as Lex Luther? Hello McFly!!! I believe a huge injustice has been done to you. You and only you can defeat super man. You may be beaten and humiliated by simple pranks Jim has played on you, but look at Clark Kent. He can't even tie his own shoes without screwing that up. I believe some repirations need to be made to correct this gross injustice.
Dwight! Where are you! It's Thursday and still no dwight!
Michael Scott
Regional Manager
Dunder Mifflin, Inc.
http://www.michaelscott.tv
DWIGHT COME BACK DAMMIT!
Dwight, you are so intelligent. We should have coffee sometime. ;) I work right across from Dunder-Mifflin so maybe sometime after work? Call me.
dwight yur the sexiest man i've ever seen before in my life!!!! i dream about u everyday.....i kno someday we will meet and it will be love at first site
Hey Dwight, Yo, IDK, I think you're charecter is pretty genius.
are tater tots from Idaho any better?
We need to know this! Are my tots inferior?
Hey tell Kevin to put out his candle in the bathroom. IT STINKS WORSE THAT IT WOULD WITHOUT THE CANDLE!!! dont mean to be rude,
Pamela
Secretary to D/M office
PS Mike needs to loosen up and jim is SEXY ive finally said it... OMG i shouldnt have done that...........................
Yo Dwight! You didnt tell me you had a blog!! Really.... I thought I was your buddy, i mean your the assistant regional manager. You should let me know about this stuff so I can make sure its OK with the union...
PS Thanks for not ratting me out about the Alicia Keys thing. You know what I mean. See you Monday... Or will I?? You better not break your perfect attendance!! Ok now Im really going. Oh and I did NOT 'do' Jan for the tenth time. Ok bye! Oh my Gosh I just posted that on your blog Jans going to see it and Im gonna be in trouble.Ok my mom is making mac&cheese for dinner so I gotta go.
I love "The Office" and all, but this Blog is dumb, Dwight isnt real - -he's a character. I'm not going to ask him to go paint-balling with me -- - hes not real.
I'd prefer a Blog by the actor who plays Dwight.
I LOVE DWIGHT! YES!
I I <3 U DWIGHTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (: YES!
To Jim:
There are a number of openings at the mall, since the Sears things didn't pan out. The best ones are:
1) Sales Associate at "Mattress Metropolis"
2) Customer Service Rep., Service & Parts Department, at "Universal Thermos Emporium"
3) Home Assembly Team Member, Government Sales Division, for "Wicker World and Chair City"
Best of luck, and don't tell them why you're leaving your current job at D/M; if you must discuss the situation, state that you're leaving because your posistion is being transferred to Oswego, NY.
Dwight, 2 ounces? A bottle a week? You use more Herbal Essences than a girl!!
I live for you & your show.
If it dies, I will too.
I live for you & your show.
If it dies, I will too.
<3 <3 <3 <3
I watch the show whenever it is on! The Office is by faaaaaar my favorite show. What I love most about it is that whenever I feel like a loser I just look at Dwight and feel golden. :D
Michael Scott is HOTTTT!!!!!
Bitchin' Camaro, Dwight! The fire that the Scranton Bureau of Fire was putting out was your Berlinetta. Anyhow, join my baseball league on Yahoo!
I LOVE DWIGHT!
Hey Dwight, question. Did you ever get your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat? Doesnt Michael forward you his dirty jokes on this blog? I bet you smell in person don't you Dwight. You smell of beets and carrots and mint leaves and a sith lords nipple. Stay cool homie
i i <3 dwight.
Wooo! Hey !! Soul Patrol. Best show since Earl!
I wanna do Jan and make Michael watch!
1-866-IDOLS-O2!!!
Woo! Hey!!
Wanna cookie?
Dwight, instead of a blog you shoudl do a podcast. It'd be great.
Dwight. You need to do an episode with this character. Have Michael bring him in as a great motivational speaker.
I am so inspired by this, it isnt even funny
hey dwight. i am using my mind power to make you dump angela and then let me come to your office and work there and be your new secret girlfriend. then we can make beautiful babies!
hey dwight.. you didn't eat lead paint chips as a child by any chance did you?
PS: Apparently, urine would not be such a great genetic sample, according to WebMD, given its ammonia content. Blood, semen, or saliva might be preferable. Don't be shy to tell me if you have a personal preference.
Dwight. I've yet to see the show, but everybody at my office (I'm the Administrative Legal Assist, which is a lot more important than it sounds like) at an exotic pet distribution company in Windsor, Ontario, Canada (I'm afraid I can't name it online, but they give me great discounts on animals, which is a great perk given my obsession with herpetology and reptile husbandry), say I look and act exactly like you, and from doing a fair amount of on-line research, I think I concur with their opinion, which leads me to believe we might actually be related, despite your hatred of non-hot-girl Canadians, of which I am admittedly a member, being male, but maybe kinda hot according to some. I've never met my father, an airline pilot my then-promiscuous mother copulated with in 1971 on one of his 17-hour Toronto layovers, and she withheld his name even until the day she died of a severe allergic reaction to dust mites, which to me is a clue that this pilot might have sown his wild oats across the planet, perhaps linking us by genetic destiny until this very day where we begin to exchange thoughts, ideas, feelings and opinions about things like favorite colors or vegetables (mine are paisley and, coincidentally(?) BEETS!) Would you agree to meet with me at an undisclosed location so that we might exchange genetic samples (any liquid is acceptable, according to CSI) and each obtain our own independant, impartial analysis? If so, perhaps we'll bridge our cultural barriers and become both brothers and close friends and can get together every now and then to chat and play lawn darts (not in the snow; we get some summer months in Canada, believe it or not) or shuriken (if you'll teach me, please).
Fare thee well, probable-brother, in arms and in plasma.
Dominic (Same first letter name too!)
you should do this on a myspace
Dwight... I love you... I want to rip off your clothes and have sex with you! Please... marry me! (and if you refuse my proposal please pass on my contact information to Jim.. he's so sexy)
why did pam and jim kiss? that just ruined the season for me! gosh!
hey mr. poop
yay. jim and pam!!!! you would have no idea about that now would you dwight. you did spot jim's "tell" though so... props *cough*
later
Dwight I would someday like to marry you. I think I am in love. Hope to hear from you soon lover! Love Chels
Dwight! Since when does the Assistant TO the regional manager get a bobblehead?
Dwight,
I am proud to be prepared to bear you many bobble-headed children. You rock my world.
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Dwight! Get back to work. On second thought, when are you going to write another post for our beloved fans?
Michael Scott
Regional Manager
Dunder Mifflin, Inc.
http://www.michaelscott.tv
i have toster waffles
ddddddddduuuuuuuuuuuuude
Thanks 4 the clarifying what Ore-Ida stood for--I never knew it!
I just defecated.
Dwight, You are the man.
Your Sparring Partner,
Mr.Rosales
dwight.....my friend kathi and i have decided that you are a tool...but we are oddly fascinated by you and continue to worship you....thanks for being the weirdest guy in scranton....
Father my unborn child!
dwight, you are funny!
Dwight actually got his tux from the tux rental shop at Sears where Jim may soon be working. It's by the foodcourt, and near the Bed, Bath and Beyound store. There is also a cart out in front, selling watches and cheap jewelry.
Creed is the man!
Dwight, you may remember me saying that I don't want you sharing personal information on the internet!!!! It's so unsafe!!!
Your Lover,
Angela
Dear Mr. Schrute,
Because you are the assistant to the regional manager I thought that I should address this concern to you. As the employee of the month at Dunder-Mifflen in August of 2001, I believe myself to be a loyal employee and see it as my duty to Dunder-Mifflen to ferret-out all those who are not as loyal as myself. To the point, Pamela has been taking home four rolls of toilet paper from the office every Friday afternoon for the last two and a half months. I hate to be tattle-tale, but for the good of the company, I thought you should know.
Sincerely,
Crystal
hey there dwight. we have a charecter in our shop that is very familar to yourself. His name is James Lyman, and he favors you so very much. We are facinated by the similarities in you too. He loves martial arts and is a part time security guard, and by all means he thinks he is the best EVER! He has very similar facuial features as well. All in all we feel you have based your life around his. If this is true please fess up and lets settle this thing.
If you require a picture please contact me and i will be happy to send you one ASAP.
With all my regards,
Johnny R. Bradley
p.s. We all love beets down here in N.C.
I'm definetly getting the DVD!
I wonder if Pam read that note that Jim put in her christmas gift (the tea pot) Although I'd have to see it again, (I just caught a clip of it) It looked like Jim picked the note off of Pam's desk, meaning it may have been taken out and read by Pam before both of them had gone through its contents together. ???? Twisty! LOL
The last episode was awesome. Actually, the entire second season was pretty good. I hope you guys get picked up for another one and I can't wait until season two hits DVD (does anyone know when that's happening?).
Hey, I believe I saw "dwight" walking down the street in NYC the other day. Anyone care to confirm?
Did you see the way Jim was staring at those glowsticks? That's a sign of someone who has partied way too hard.
Dwight "Fart" Shrute--
Is Angela going to CABO with you? Busted.
Hey, my brothers name is Dwight. Well anyway, I can mind control just like Jim can. I once picked up a car and threw it across the parking lot with my mind. Oh yeah Dwight, if you ever wanna fight me in the karate dojo like you fought Michael, I'll take you on with your bowstaff!
Dwight, were you a dancer for MC Hammer back in the day? U R the weakest link!
i hate your guts dwight
were still soul mates .. :]
somebodys a loser.. coughh jacob !! ...
hey not cool that crosses the line i thought we were sole mates
ya know .. maybe that jacob dudes gay .. he seems like he is just .. foolishly loserish. ya know?
yes yes .. well my numbers .....
hey my number is 771-2523 and im 5' 7" 130 male
ya know .. maybe that jacob dudes gay .. he seems like he is just .. foolishly loserish. ya know?
i think melissa's a lesbian
and a bi but i like that
Dwight - Remember what I said to you about using a blog and how it jeopardizes confidential company information? I want to remind you of my concerns. Please don't reveal any paper or sales policies that may be read by our competition. Thanks.
yeah .. that jacob guy seems pretty hott too .. i want some digitsss haha .. gosh were weird jacob ..
yeah .. what that hockaday guy said ..
that melissa girl sounds hott ohh yeah let me get your digits
dwight you rock! you need to post more often!
Hey Dwight, "question"-do you work during the summer? If you do, where does the documentary crew go? Do they take a break? And also, why do the documentary filmers never reveal themselves? Could you ask them to show their faces? (Didn't see season one)
SEXEY I WANT TO LICK YOU UP AND DOWN.
Dwight...you should eat more tater tots in the morning! Make you grow big and strong!
"Either way Jim better get Pam in the end"
ewwwwwwwwwwww. Pervert
Another Wow here too the last episode was awesome. Its about time Jim told Pam how he really feel, and the kiss, I cried like a baby I was so happy.
Maybe Jim won't transfer now.
I was blown away by Jim's and Pam's kiss. I rewound my TiVo over and over again, watching him say "I'm in love with you," and the kissing scene. I could not believe it. I almost cried.
Wow that last episode was great. Creed is a real jerk if you ask me. Jims great though. I hope he and dwight combine forces and they beat up Pam's fiance. Or Jim just cruches his head with his mind powers. Either way Jim better get Pam in the end.
You are such a weirdo.
Hey, by the way. I'm also capable of mind control. I'll explain. I have the ability to make people leave the room. I can be especially effective after a hearty meal of black beans and rice. When I walk in, with my mind, I forcefully expel any beings from any room. It doesn't matter which room or venue. One whiff of my special powers, and all cease and desist. You too can have this special power from this magical curative legume.
hi wat is up!!!!!!
Thanks NBC for giving me something to look forward to on Thursday nights, this is the only show we watch these days.....what a sweet , funny, show. Yeah for Jim and Pam.....how adorable are they? Dwight how did you get the tux if it was buried?...
Can't wait for the DVD......
Dwight Fart Schrute, Security Threat
I love Dwight. He is soooo sexy. I bet he has a large unit and knows how to use it.
why do we have to wait three months to see what's going to happen?!?!? THIS IS SO NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!
OMG WHAT IS GOINGON????? THIS IS WEIRD, PAM+JIM???? That would be sooooo cool, poor Jim that was sad when he was crying.... And then he kissed Pam, I was like gonna explode
this is your great grandpa just wanted to say hello buddy i see u on tv all the time eeee yer used to be a young fella
Dwight, please tell me you didn't forget about paintball. (you still need to give lessons to Michael!)
Mr. Schrute:
If one were to be interested in afore mentioned "spud gun", where would one go to purchase said item?
Sincerely,
Donald K.C. Burton, Jr.
nice work dwight(dwyane) jk u know i admire you....keep up the good work.good you eat breakfast(i dont)but thats wut makes you at the top of your game.
Dwight, did you have a "Crying Game" moment the first time you got busy with Angela ??
More on Jim getting a job at Sears: there is an opening in hardware and as an assistant at the in-store optometrist's office. There is a very good food-court outside Sears for lunch and other breaks. If you work there 6 months, you get a 15% discount on merchandise.
Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?
"Deal or No Deal? Howie Mandel - May 04, 12:35 pm"
I snorted! haha. I love that show too. Tamika is my favorite model.
Dwight, let's bump knuckles sometime.
I have heard that Jim may be looking for a job at Sears.
I am sitting in my class rite now bored out of my mind so i thought i woald tell thank you for making me semi bored in sted of extremely bored haha
Dwight K. Schrute (Raiin Wilson) You are my HERO! You are awesome!
Okay, so if you force Jim to go, who'll be the quirky, sexy, funny, loveable, huggable, kissable, tasty glue that holds that office together and keeps us all interested?
Who is going to win Bushiest Beaver next year?
hey r u married?????
I Love Pot....................
Hey Dwight or should i say Dwayne. I have a couple of questions for u. I thought ur middle name was fart? does the word diaper come up whenever u type ur name? And why do u not like Jim? He seems like a pretty nice guy, and he helped u with that speech which by the way, i liked. Are u and angie havin an affair?
I got to work at 6:28 AM!!!!
YOU ARE THE KEWLEST!! and i say that from the heart
I love the office!!!And you?Thanks!!!
Bye!!!
dwight your crazy, you rock but Sammy Hagar Sucks because he can't drive 55, whats up with that?
Hey buddy! Whats going on! your the best! woo! You gotta get back at Jim, maybe by telling his "love" of the office that he likes her! woo that would get him! do it man! ya! but yes i must go now! i shall chat with you later! if you wanna comment me.. or something TOTALLY go to www.xanga.com/kristin_leighxoxo yaaaaaa! talk to you later!
Much Love
Kristinoh by the way.. Brennan(the one who commented you) is my BEST FRIEND! HAHA YA! and um this is my first time commenting you so that other kristin chick who did is Not me! well ttyl!
Dwight, I love you more than that crazy Angela does!
Dwight! Dude your the best man. You tell Jimmmy boy whos the boss. Nobody messes with Dwight Schrute. But really man,Jim cant leave. if you didnt know he loves someone in the office, and hes got to tell her. Just work it out with him. Cant wait too see you in your grandpa's suit. I bet the laides will be all over you ;) Well i got to fly man. Lata playa
I see you enjoy simple yet effective weapons. Ever worked with a bow staff? When will the office acknowledge you as their leader? You should hold them hostage with throwing stars until they submit to your superiority.
Please let the Schrute Space column be supersized for the supersized finale!!!!
just kidding. but seriously, is jim fired or what? That would suck cause he is the funniest character just because he's normal. Plus, he pisses of Dwight.
Boy you are so crazy. That party event with Sammy Hagar sounds awesome.
Paper is good 4 u!
Dwight: are the vehicles in your company's parking lot more domestic or foreign. How many motorcylces, if any? Does anyone ride a bike? As I questioned earlier, how many use public transportation?
On a different subject, the comic strip "Marmaduke" was hilarious today.
Dwight, you are awesome. Love the show. Maybe you can come up with a way to get back at Jim.
Beets? Cool. :{)
Hey, what's up Dwight "FART" Schrute?
Dwight, you should run for President! Rock on Dwight!
Jim is much funnier than I thought. All those complaints you filed against him were hilarious. If he gets transferred I hope you get IBS.
Hey Dwight! I was wondering if you wanted to be in an upcoming movie with me. Call me 538-5494.
You are a security threat Dwight. Can't you see that the whole office is scared of you. You are the triple-threat of triple-threats. Ninja skills, firearm skills and of course superior genes! You are my idol! See ya at Sammy's Cabo show!
Dwight Schrute. I would only assume that you have advised any member of the Christian establishment (ie, religion) that you may, or may not, have come to "know" recently of your concert going affairs. If not, Sunday choir may be quite interesting this week. Thank you for your time. And God bless.
you are the hottest ninja blackbelt babe this side of omish country!!
You're sexy.
hey dwight hows the office security treating you
hey Dwight are you gonna still put up with Jim's little pranks cause that's funny. Anywho it's good to know your blogging
why do you like coutn chocula?
tonights episode was great
h3770 dwight i think j00 4r3 ub3r l33t!! j00 r0xorz my s0x0rz!!!
Oboes rock my socks!!hey mike, I love you courtney!!
Hey...umm...Mr.Schrute? Are you sure you arent senile? Because, well...I got the impression you were after the complaint file emptying. Of course, I do see your point. Jim really did harrass you far too much for one's health, mental, emotional, and physiacal. I have the same problem with these guys named Brent and Brock. Whom I slapped yesterday. See you later.
OMG DWIGHT!!!! U R SO MEAN NOW YOU MIGHT HAVE JIM LEAVING THE OFFICE U R SUCH A FURIT...BUT SERIOUSLY U ROCK!
I love dwight!! but he needs to play the oboe or some thing cool like that, not just the recorder!!
Hey, um , Sam P.? Maybe it's Orr-uh-EYE-duh, but I guess you could call it Eedaho..
When the hell is this blog going to get an RSS feed?
Dwight - has anyone ever commented on how much you are like John Ehrlichman? Not just your appearance, but also in your fierce devotion to your boss.
Dwight,
In an emergency situation, would you be allowed to declare martial law and actually act as Michael's superior? Not sure what your position of Honorary Corporal entails, exactly. I would bet that rubber cones are involved, though.
Hey Dwight- I love beets... I'l beet yours if you beet mine ;-)
i want your babies
Hey Diwght,
Ever think of distributing "Schrute Farms" T-Shirts?? I know I would LOVE to own one! Van Hagar rocked!!! Have a Waborita T with me!
slip Angela some X and take her to the concert. girl could use a good time.
I got your bobblehead for my husband for Father's day - I hope I can stop myself from stealing it. You RULE!
I am interested in the type of vehicles that your co-workers use to drive to work. Do any of them use public transportation on a regular basis? Are their special "ride share" only parking spaces?
You're Fired!
Did you see Michael blow away Ana Lucia and Libby on LOST last night? Wow?
Deal or No Deal?
Dwight, you rock and so does the Office and I am 54 and think you rock!
I love you.
On the "our company" page, it said where all the branches of Dunder Mifflin are... and one was Nashua. Could this be Nashua, NH? YAY!
Dwight is God! Are you buddhist? You are an inspiration to my every day. School is dumb and i'm in it right now. You're lucky cause you're at Dunder-Mifflin having a blast. Have a wonderful day!
Dwight, You were so misguided as a narc. You should stick to the paper business and avoid the social issues. I see some real paranoid behavior creeping in. I'll bet you were one of those kids at school labeled tattle-tale. And,Dwight, you are such a sucker for awards. Michael could give you the rubbed off label of a jelly jar and tell you it was an award and you'd puff your chest out there and stretch to your tallest. But, alas, we'd lose so much entertainment were it not for your quirky behavior. Have a good day. Shelley
What scent of Clairol Herbal Essence do you use?
This leaves me with one burning question:
Do you pronounce it "Orr-AY-ee-duh" or "Orr-UH-ee-duh". Based on the way we say "Oregon", I believe it is the latter.
I hope the office stays on for years!!! It is much better than the british show.
Dwight: What time of the day do you USUALLY get to work parking lot? Are there other cars there at that time? Are there any pickup trucks? -WB
niceley done Dwight. Nicely done.
I'm not watching this show anymore. It's no longer funny or interesting. The jokes have degraded to South Park-level humor, The Michael being stupid thing is way overused, Pam and Jim will never get together(because then the show would be over), and Dwight and Angela are little more than f-buddies. What kind of documentary would need this much footage? I would strongly reccomend to NBC that you produce an "Office" movie to end the series and bail out while you can.
dwight, i live in idaho and am so glad the you noticed the ore-ida was short for both oregon and idaho. although i am in no way endorsing the state of oregon. which we all know if it were up to them anyone with some namsy pansy diease would be alowed to some pot. Disgusting.
hey dwight why do you think mike is your best friend i mean he treats you like dirt
i think it is horrible plus he is your boss
you can't like your boss its like saying you
can breathe under water it just can't be
Dwight you look so hot in your uniform. YOu need to get Micheal a whizzinator. Good to see you will be shaping up the security staff. Take them to Karate. Angela is a tramp. Want to have a potato gun war in jello?
Question, could you perhaps outline your spud gun, crossbow, and throwing star workout? I would like to learn from your amazing abilities in these areas.
Thanks.
Hey. People. It's SCHRUTE. Okay? Schrute. Not "Shrute", or "Scrute", or any other of the many variations that everyone seems to insist on using. Pay attention.
will you introduce me to jim?
Sounds exciting dwight.
Have fun.
It is inspiring. In fact, I may get to my IB testing early tomorrow, just because of it.
Also, it's hot that you have a potato gun. Actually, every guy I've ever dated has built one, weirdly enough.
Dwight Rules!!
Dwight K. Schrute,
I am sorry to inform you that your "morning schedule" is a hoax. I checked the tax records and you are little more than a share cropper of said beet farm. Tending to a beet farm and owning one are two very different titles. Sure who doesnt want to OWN their own beet farm or rootabager plantation but its not in the cards for everyone, including you. While I respect your work ethic and admire your diet I must request that you cease and decist all speaking of said beet farm.
Yours in Christ,
J. Bret Sassorv
You don't have beets for breakfast?
Dwight, I enjoy your posts, but the most recent two seem out of character, a little too wishy washy or something. Bring back the real Dwight!
Why do you keep CC: things that have nothing to do with me? I also wanted to know if you wanted to go the an Alicia Keys concert with me this weekend?
Question, Dwight did you have to leave that early because of your latest promotion of Security Supervisor of the Dunder-Mifflin
Scranton Branch not to mention being Assistant Regional Manager? Or was it because you had to sneak your bow staff into the building?
Dwight! i hear you are coming to my little town of Gibsons/Robert's Creek in Canada filming "Mimzy" tomorrow...what is your role in this movie?
Keep them coming Dwight. you are the best. I admire someone who can wake up and do so much in a day.
i luv u Dwight! u make me laugh so HARD!!!
Dwight, you need to see a UFO so your whole world gets more twisted than it already is. Lets see ya karate chop an alien. Let's see ya strapped to a bed in an alien ship yelling, " Don't touch me, EVER!" When they get done with you your head WOULD bobble.
ps. If more people smoked pot the world would be a more peaceful place. I want some pot right now! But I have kids and can't go to jail so for 24 years I haven't even had one joint! What a waste! Legalize!
YOU ROCK DWIGHT!!!!!!!!
Smoking marijuana is a serious offense
People look like they are having a good time but they are not. I sit in the corner and watch them.
You can't do karate when you smoke pot.
You can't make a catapult or shoot a crossbow either.
Sorry I meant still. Are we STILL on for coffee. Call me later
Dwight, we will on for coffee?
have u ever ......... pooped.. a balloon?
I just thought you might appreciate that my sister put my Office DVD Season 1 in jello..
Hey Dwight, Amelia again. I have a question about paper orders from your company. Are there only certain quantities that I can order? I need exactly 463 envelopes and anymore would be unnecessary and unacceptable. Please answer this because it’s urgent!!! Have a nice day.
Why would Todd Packer sign his name with the "F" initial... interesting.
HEY DWIGHT...
What has two thumbs and likes to party all night with prostitutes in the Dunder-Mifflin parking lot? - THIS GUY.
Hope you liked the little "package" i left you in the parking lot.
Queer.
I'm sure that the breakfast you described is not healthy. You should try a healthier breakfast since you do Karate. Also, we have never seen you in paintball action. Why don't you set up a paintball match involving everyone in the office? That would be great.
You are so inspiring. You do more before 7am than most people do all day.
Hey yeah......you are pretty much THE coolest person ever. You look good in your uniform. well hope you have a good day!
Hey Dwight, why did Angela say that she was disappointed in you? Is this a performance issue? Considering your morning breakfast routine the bacon could be clogging those arteries and contributing to Angela's "disappointment." Talk to Michael, I'm sure he knows all about this. And, by the way, didn't the Schrute family originally come from the "Land of Hatchy Malatchy"?
I thought I saw Angela out with another man last night. Does this concern you?
Ok I admit, I have a picture of Dwight on my fridge too. In the Christmas Elf uniform. It makes me smile every day.
Dwight, why would you ever want to be the earliest to arrive at work? I always want to get as MUCH sleep as I possibly can. Well... GOOD for you!
Dwight...today i put 2 pictures of you on my fridge. Now before i go to work i have your lovely face and betty page to get me ready for the day...thanks
LOL Here is the link that the last message from me was talking about. ha ha.
http://Whitneysdrawings.blogspot.com
Nothin much but a blog.
LOL Dwight what a silly character. You measure your breakfast in ounces and even your shampoo, that's crazy LOL. So you really write your blog not someone else promoting your show? I usually watch The Office right after my college classes at night, it's a funny show.
LOL what a silly character Dwight. Interesting breakfast. :-) Not! hah ah hehehehhe. I spend most of my online blogging making art. If your bored just stop by my link. Nothin much but a blog but hey its fun, especially cracking into the template and adding more html and java.
art/computer nerd
Whitney
Dwight you are my idol haha. your so freaking funny.
You strive to be the best. But you have to get noticed so you can get a higher honor.
Do something bold!
Interesting, he cares enough about his hair to use Herbal Essence Shampoo, but he still has that haircut.
I would like to commend you on your early and thorough work ethic. I, like you, am striving to become successful and I've incorporated a disciplined early work schedule, too. Its not easy, but being a Shrute never is.
Take care Dwight.
Why is your Pee Green?
Yeah, DJ, when I saw they were selling bobble heads I just about pooped a balloon.
Dwight!! Man, I give you props!! But I am suprized that you haven't discovered the culprit behind the joint found in the parking lot!! I mean, seriously, you are (were) a volunteer sherriffs deputy of Scranton! Don't be too hard on yourself though, now your in charge of assisting security!!! Rock on buddy!
I SO knew you weren't a shampoo-and-conditioner-in-one kind of guy.
Dwight, you were stuck between a rock and a hard place.... Turn Michael in or give up the volunteer police gig. Glad to see you took the "high" road..... Your fellow employees will be much more productive at work, knowing you are heading up security. Let us know when Homeland Security contacts you to do a complete overhaul for them!
YES! THE BOBBLE HEADS ARE FINALLY FOR SALE! I know I can't be the only one who crapped themselves out of pure joy when they saw the teaser during the show last night. COME ON! Who else crapped their pants? Admit it. If it's for joy, then there's nothing to be ashamed of.
"Ate 3 eggs (over hard) with 6 strips of bacon and 10
microwave tater tots (Ore-Ida [which, by the way,
stands for Oregon-Idaho]) with one 24 oz cup of black
coffee (with milk and sugar)."
'Tis a good thing you have the power to lower (and raise) your cholesterol, my friend...
Dwight, can you make Jim love me? Thanks.
Did you ever find out who was "on" pot?
Hey Dwight, it is going to be a Sammy Waborita Sambassador Cabo Wabo partay with the Red Rocker and I will see you at the show. (Not really. I probably won't be going. I'm having a party in my backyard that day, ya know, the usual...pool, beer, AC/DC's playing. Stop by.)
And an aside to Comment Leaver Megan a few posts above this one, you need to readjust your morning routine a few clicks to the right.
Thanks for the inspiring glimpse of your morning routine Dwight. And don't forget our website, it's www.rock107.com
Be talkin' to ya,
John
webster@rock107.com
d to the white, as your nutritionist i would advise you to not eat so much fat in the morning (via the bacon and tator tots). also, 3 eggs a day isn't good for your cholesterol. or keep it up. i don't care. but someone will have to view your medical records soon and i don't think you want that
oh yeh, shrute, i can't see you sayin the phrase "tippy top"...i can't even see pam saying that...maybe michael though
I am changing my midle name to Shrute.
YEAH DWIGHT
WOOO! Dwight is back! Love the Sheriff's outfit! ;)
I am truly inspired. And it's so sweet that you love your cousin.. Keep up the fantastic volunteer sheriff-ing!
hahahaha.....Dwight as a "sambassador"
defecate
One entry found for defecate.
Main Entry: def·e·cate
Pronunciation: 'de-fi-"kAt
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): -cat·ed; -cat·ing
Etymology: Latin defaecatus, past participle of defaecare, from de- + faec-, faex dregs, lees
transitive senses
1 : to free from impurity or corruption
2 : to discharge from the anus
intransitive senses : to discharge feces from the bowels
sambassadors, I just spit coke all over my bobble head david lee roth.
I prefer Froggy in the morning then rocking out later in the night.
Rainn... errr.... Dwight.
Wonderful post; glad to see you blogging again.
I think someday I'd like to introduce you to my friend Gareth Keenan. Real stand-up guy.
It seems I've found your rediculous little blog Dwight. This is Brock, I work at the "Scranton Townsquare" Staples. Your paper sucks. Staples offers more affordable, higher quality paper than Dunder Mifflin could ever hope to sell. Your company and most importantly you Mr. Schrute are pathetic. Especially Jim. tell him that the "RocketMan" says hello. HAHAHAHAHA. He'll know what it's about. (We're arch rivals.)
I just saw a Sammy in concert. Sammy Kershaw, that is. There was no Cabo Wabo experience for me, though.
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