January 18, 07:09 PM

Schrute-Space: Changing peoples' lives to be more like mine.

Do you know what costs businesses more than any other
costly thing?

Hurricanes? Stolen office supplies?  Unions?  Dog
bites?

No.

Tardiness and wrongful or pretend illness are the most
costly and terrible things to affect business.  Over
287 billion dollars were wasted last year by people
being late and/or pretending to be sick, when they
weren't really.

That is horrible.

Dwight Schrute is thinking about starting a business
where I would be like a Private Eye (Jim Rockford) and
investigate false illness and tardiness.  Through
surveillance, interogation and humiliation I can save
companies millions. I would call this company "Schrute
Investigations".

For instance, you are the manager of "Randolph Medical
Supply Corporation" and your accountant named "Oscarp"
does not show up on a very important day, like a day
when you are cleaning your offices from top to bottom.
 You get suspicious.  You call "Schrute
Investigations" and pronto i would be on that
ne'er-do-well like a fly on SH**!

I would get to the bottom of this "OSCARP" and find
out if he was really sick or off "roller skating" or
something.

Note to all those reading this blog.  Be on time.
Only miss a day of work if your life depends on it.
Think about the billions you are costing the American
economy with your selfishness by being tardy or absent
without leave.  Think about me busting your A$$ and
think twice.

That is All-

Dwight Schrute


PS.  Thoughts about winter.

Winter is the coldest season.  For a reason.  The sun
moves south, to warm up the Africans and the
Australians and leaves us in the northern climes to
fend for ourselves in the sleet and the frost.

Animals bundle up in their fur and in their caves.
They hybernate and/or store up nuts to feed to their
chicks and young.

When there is a chill in the air, there are colder
weather patterns coming down from Canada.

In Canada it is always winter.  Sometimes the sun
never rises in Canada.  Harp seals abound until they
are brutally slaughtered by Canadians. They worship
maple syrup, hockey and Alanis Morisette.  I hate
Canadians.

Winter.

Comments (3763) permalink
Posted by Dwight K. Schrute at 07:09 PM