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August 28, 12:44 PM
Creed Thoughts
Boy do I have a story to tell. You know how I was keeping track of Michael’s safe combo? Well it finally came in handy. I was trolling around the office last night after hours and heard some noise coming from the boss’s room. Normally the office is real quiet at night, which is why I stick around in the first place. Quiet is like a drug to me and if I don’t get my fix every night, I start to get the shakes.
So anyway, I heard these noises and got freaked out that the bossman was using his office for a little nighttime nooky with that new chick that sits in Tony’s seat every day. Not wanting to get caught, I dropped down and started to army crawl over to investigate (I got a Private Investigator license so I’m allowed to investigate anything I want, suckers). As luck would have it, there wasn’t anybody in there. Turns out that the noise was coming from inside Michael’s big furniture cabinet thing. So I opened the cabinet door, half expecting a cat to jump out at me. Usually when I open cabinets or closets or anything, cats end up pouncing on me. For some reason, cats find me very attractive.
Nothing jumped out at me, but I could hear the rustling pretty close to the ground, so I bent over and figured out that it was coming from the safe. For a second, I just stared at it, wondering what could be inside. Then I realized that I had been saving up Michael’s safe combo for this very occasion. Well, this occasion and whenever I needed some cash, but that’s beside the point.
I went over to my computer and looked back at my previous entries of this thing. Apparently I wasn’t too good with my record keeping because the numbers were kind of off. I ended up trying out every combo I wrote down and you know what? I didn’t get it right until the very last one I tried. The good news is, I got it open and you’ll never guess what was inside.
No, it wasn’t a cat, smart ass. It was a squirrel! I don’t know for the life of me why that guy had a squirrel in his safe, but I do know that I got me a new pet. And I’m going to train it. Right now I’m calling it Butthead, but I’m open to suggestions for new names if you got any. In just a few months, I’m going to have the best trained squirrel in Pennsylvania. I’m also going to blackmail Michael because I’m pretty sure it’s against the law to lock a squirrel in a safe. False imprisonment or something.
Everything’s coming up Creed!
COMMENTS
You should name your new pet squirrel "Blog" in honor of this here blog where you kept the locker combo that led you to the squirrel that can lead you to fame and fortune.
Good Lord, why would Michael have a squirrel in his safe?
That man should be locked up!!!
I prefer "Captain Fuzzynuts"
I propose "Billy Badass".
Michael. Because it's funny when you name things after people you know. My cat's name is Mom.
Name the rat "Bella Linda," after some song I heard once upon a time.
I like to wear costumes of ex-presidents. Is this cool?
Here in Council Bluffs, IA, it is illegal to even worry a squirrel:
FOXNEWS.COM
Annoy a Squirrel, Pay a Fine
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
A Council Bluffs, Iowa, man learned the hard way — don't mess with the city's black squirrels.
Billy G. Cates, 18, was fined $325 last Tuesday for letting loose his dog "with the intent to annoy, worry, maim, injure or kill the squirrel," according to the Council Bluffs Daily Nonpareil and the Omaha World-Herald.
The black-colored squirrel is Council Bluffs' unofficial mascot, and an ordinance protecting it has been on the books for decades.
"Originally Council Bluffs was noted nationwide for having black squirrels, an oddity in the squirrel world," Council Bluffs Police Sgt. Keith Jones explained, "but now we see them in other places."
Illegal under the ordinance is throwing things at squirrels or repeatedly threatening or scaring them. Jones said police see about one such violation per year.
There was no indication the squirrel was injured in the incident, and no medical treatment was sought.
That squirrel should be named either "Creed Jr." or "Creed's Squirrel" . That way people know who trained a squirrel to bite their eye's out.
Since Michael made such a fuss over rabies, you should name the squirrel "Rabius" (ray-be-us).
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