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July 03, 09:05 AM
Creed Thoughts
The 4th of July is tomorrow and some would say it’s the greatest American holiday. Not me. I think America Day beats the pants off of the 4th of July.
You may have missed America Day this year because it’s not really well-advertised. It takes place on June 20th and it is a sight to behold. America Day was created by a friend of mine named Samuel Che Emanuel. He’s rail-thin with a haircut that looks oddly as if a woman had her hair cut short like a man. It’s hard to describe, but it’s a feminine masculine haircut, if that makes sense to anyone. He’s a real sparkplug of a guy. Grew up in the wilderness of Colorado with a pet bear. It was a midget bear, so he didn’t have to worry about it eating him or anything. His parents were trappers and lived “off the grid” so to speak, so wildlife pets were nothing new to him.
Anyway, one day, Sammy Che (as we call him) was walking with Midgy (as he called his bear) and stumbled upon a rock formation that looked like an eagle soaring through the air with a flag waving behind it. I’m guessing that Sammy Che was tripping pretty hard that day, so who knows what the rock formation actually looked like. All we know is that Sammy Che returned home and declared that day America Day. When I first met Sammy Che, it was the 20th anniversary of America Day and he showed me how the day is properly celebrated.
First, you wake up and immediately eat an apple. Why an apple? Because there’s nothing more American than an apple. The next step in a successful America Day is selecting the right costume. For the past five years, I’ve opted to dress as Henry Clay, one of the best greatest senators in American history. The costume is up to you, though. It should be somehow related to America’s greatness, but doesn’t have to be a person. I’ve seen Constitutions, watermelon, and a costume that illustrated America’s immigration policy from 1885-1921.
Once you’re in costume, it’s time to participate in the traditional parade entitled “America the Beautiful,” where everyone parades around in their costumes and throws hard candy at each other. The parade is my favorite part of America Day.
After the parade, everyone goes to the liquor store, buys a bunch of beer and drinks until they can’t say “Democracy.” It’s truly the greatest holiday we have. Next June 20th, everyone should give it a shot.
America! Living the dream!
COMMENTS
Indeed America Day is great. The Office should consider having a party that day next year.
It's good to know that I'm not the only person to celebrate this delicious holiday.
Hey, didn't a guy got arrested a few weeks ago because he had pet bear? Hope that wasn't your friend.
Hooray for democritty... dumashriky... dimishrishkit...... erm... 'Merica!!!
"he was tripping pretty hard that day..." what???
Creed: You miscreant! You know that Sammy Che stole the America Day idea from Billy Bones. (I can't remember his real last name but all of us chaps used to hang out together in Haight - or was it the French Quarter - anyway, you remember Double B.) Do you remember that night that BB and his girlfriend got stoned to the bejesus and stole Midgy while you, me, Sammy Che and Chick Lamb were out at the ranch? BB stole Midgy, took it back to the flat and fed it catnip and then, once the Midge was flying, BB tried to make it with the bear? Man, I'll tell ya. I had the pictures that BB's GF took of that until the trunk of my El Camino caught fire. Good times!
Anyway, it was Billy Bones that declared June 20th America Day. Sammy Che's gig was to take other people's stories and make it like they were his. In Sammy Che's defense, though, I think he believed that they were his...
Also, if you recall, we all agreed that the 'real' America Day should be June 19th, as we figured out by BB's description of where the moon was in the sky that he found the rock would have been late on the 19th and he only returned home on the afternoon of the 20th... You remember now? I distinctly remmeber that it was you that said 'if luna was waxing, the midnight hour was yet at hand, man.'
I told you in '70 that you shouldn't pack that 'Seabright Gold' and that it would make you lose your mind - and probably your hair. History hath proven me right on two counts! Glad I didn't hit that...
Your brother,
Sit
Creed, that does sound like a great american holiday but how many beers does it take before you can't say "democracy"
Creed can you make me a fake id?
Also, do you know where I left my pants last night?
Oh we have that holiday at my house but we just call it Friday here.
Last year I spent 4 months in the clink for celebrating America Day. I was driving home drunk as hell and was pulled over for drunk driving. I told the officer that I was just celebrating our country's freedom and he just laughed and beat me. We need to get more people to celebrate this exhilirating holiday!
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