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June 12, 09:23 AM
Creed Thoughts
When something’s both good and bad, people say it’s “a double-edged sword.” I think that’s ridiculous. A double-edged sword is always a good thing. You can do twice the damage with it.
I believe the children are our future. Specifically Chinese children.
Gambling for money is fun, but gambling for livestock is so much better. If you end up winning, you get the satisfaction of victory and a ride home.
I like to tell time using the sun. If it’s sunny, then it’s time for work. If it’s dark, then it’s time to make money.
Globes are great for hiding stuff. Nobody ever bothers to look inside a globe, and if they do, they’re probably really weak anyway, so you can just beat them up and run away.
Never talk to men with red hair. They live by different rules than you or I. There’s a reason all the famous clowns have red hair and it’s not because red is a friendly hair color.
I’ve been running a lot lately and I’m getting into really good shape. Of course, it really helps that I’m carrying a lot of loot while I run.
When I’m in a new situation, I tell everyone it’s my birthday. People really treat you better when they think it’s your birthday, whether they know you or not.
I hate waiting. It drives me nutso. If I’m at a drive-thru window and it’s taking too long to get my food, I’ll just get out of my car and go for a walk for half an hour. When I get back, I’m much calmer and the fast food joint gets an important message about wasting people’s time.
I carry a salt shaker in my pocket because you never know when you’ll need to teach a slug a lesson.
Reminder: Michael’s safe combo: 86-7-53-09
COMMENTS
SCORE! RANDOM LIST!
Oh, thank you Creed. Thank you so very, very much. I know you did that just for me. So now I shall respond to all your topics to show my gratitude.
- Aren't all swords double-edged? How would you make a sword with just one edge?
- All children are our future. The Chinese ones are just better equipped for dodging nuclear holocaust.
- I enjoy gambling for children. It's a great way of getting rid of any extra ones you have lying around, and then you don't feel bad when you lose. And I'm a terrible gambler. I try to use my poker face at the roulette table, but that little ball always gets me in the end.
- Do you go to work during rain storms at all?
- I am SO buying a globe to hide stuff in. I've been keeping $4 in a pair of my grandfather's old socks (for emergencies), but I'm always worried that someone's going to find me out.
- Never trust a ginger.
- I only run when being chased, so I understand.
- People are also especially nice on Christmas, but it's harder to lie about when that one is. You can always make up a Jewish holiday, though. Tons of those.
- One time I ordered a taco at a fast-food place and when I opened it up, they had forgotten the shell. It was just all the meat and fixings inside a plastic sheet. I ate it anyway, but that plastic sheet was tough on my insides.
- Slugs deserve those lessons.
- Thank you for the safe combo! I was worried that I'd forgotten it. I left a tuna sandwich in there back in October, and I know I'm going to start craving it again one of these days.
Actually, the salt comes in hand if they fries aren't salted enough...so two reasons to carry it around
Why the return of the safe combo? You haven't posted that since July of 07. By the way, Jim is totally going to take over Ryan's position and move to NY with Pam.
Yay! Random Creed thoughts again!
To Jake: Creed was fulfilling the request I made last week in the comments section (because clearly he and I are best friends). Please read below.
~A~
***************************
Creed,
If you don't like cupcakes, I'm not sure we can stay friends.
Also, I don't remember the combination to Michael's safe. Would you mind doing a post like the old days, full of little random bits like that? It would make my day.
Thanks.
~A~
June 5, 2008
Posted by Angela
I like the "random creed thoughts".. but I think I like the kinds of "Creed and the one-armed-yeti pilot stories". I like those better than this one.
well... we all love creed, that's for sure.
Creed, I hear ya about the drive-thrus.
I waited forever at a Jack in the Box today. It took about 5 minutes just to serve one car (and there were 4 in front of me!)
Next time I'm going to crawl in the back seat and take a nap.
I never thought to carry salt. That is a great idea. I live in a pretty rough rural neighborhood, where slugs are doing slime-bys all the time. You are a smart man. Thank you so much for your wisdom.
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You the best Creed!
I have a poster of you in my bathroom! Always enjoying seeing you while I take a sh*t
Keep it up man!
Great stuff Creed! You heading up another cult anytime soon?
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