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June 05, 09:17 AM
Creed Thoughts
Let’s talk about gas, because at this moment in history, it’s out of control. Seriously. I’ve had bad gas for weeks now and I don’t know what to do about it. It’s terrible and I mean really awful. It smells a little like a mix between very wet cats and regurgitated corn chips. I don’t know what’s been causing it, but I need to find out because it’s making me sick.
Honestly, if I didn’t have to smell it myself, I’d be happy about it. Gas is a powerful weapon. You want some space to yourself? Unload a popper and those seats next to you clear out real fast. You want a day off of work? Start a little seat orchestra and you’ll be sent home in no time. I wish I were back in my twenties when I couldn’t smell anything because then I’d have some fun with these stinkbombs. Sadly, every time I let one go, I’m my own first victim.
I end up being victim to myself a lot. That’s what happens when you do a lot of home chemical mixing. It started out as a hobby, but I’ve really stepped up my game in the last few years. I’m trying to find a chemical cure for wrinkles, but it’s not going so well. I have, however, invented quite a few potions for giving yourself rashes. When rashes come back into “vogue,” I’ll be the king of the rash world.
Rash World sounds like a really fun theme park, don’t you think? I’d visit, as long as the admission price wasn’t too high. I wonder if they have funnel cakes at Rash World. Funnel cakes are incredible. They’re my favorite fried batter-based cake.
Other types of cakes that I enjoy: snack cakes, birthday cakes, coffee cakes, tea cakes, ice cream cakes, urinal cakes, erotic cakes, layer cakes, hot cakes, and wedding cakes. Cakes that I do not enjoy: cupcakes. Why waste my time on a cupcake when I can get the real deal? Cupcakes should only be eaten in times of war or famine. Or when they’re filled with cream. That’s it.
COMMENTS
creed thoughts have really gone downhill lately. Boo
Nonsense! Creed is what he is and has always been. And that's why this man must NEVER be given any real authority (though it's fun to contemplate the results of such a rash action!). ;-)
Creed,
If you don't like cupcakes, I'm not sure we can stay friends.
Also, I don't remember the combination to Michael's safe. Would you mind doing a post like the old days, full of little random bits like that? It would make my day.
Thanks.
~A~
Oh man, I remember high school during the "Cool Rash" period... those days were so care-free and innocent.
You should be, like, a writer or something because you can really hold a stream of thought well.
Hey im thinking get an office sn what name do u like better:
CreedThoughts
SprinklesOnIce
BamLikeEmeril
CreedScents
or
CreedAndThe1ArmedYetiPilot?????????
I know what you mean about being the first victim, Creed. It's hard on yourself when you want some space and you let one go, and suddenly, you want to leave yourself too. And yet, you can't.
Although, I don't agree about the cupcakes thing...If you don't like cupcakes, you're insane.
As for the whole cupcake thing, Creed is okay with them being filled with cream. If from now on we demand that all cupcakes be filled with cream, that will solve the problems. I can understand someone not liking all that stuff below the icing, but once you get some cream in there, who could possibly object?
Creed,
Store your gas in large tanks and sell them as an alternative fuel resource. Big money there these days.
Superduperstacy
Speaking of gas...how about the "hit and run" move, you know, when you are walking down an aisle at a store and you have to let one go, then you realize what devastation you have done to the air, you quickly go to another aisle, leaving the fog behind. Classic.
Personally I enjoy crop dusting, starting at one end of the office and make my way across the room so everyone can enjoy it, plus it keeps me in front of the awful smell of burning trash and rotten eggs
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