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www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts
May 01, 09:16 AM
Creed Thoughts
Remember when I told you about those flashbacks I was having with my old dog Bozo? Well guess what? He’s back, or rather, she’s back. I found a dog that looked just like Bozo wandering around Wilkes-Barre over the weekend by herself and I immediately snatched her up. You might think it’s cruel to snatch a dog, but I say it’s the only way. I got a real big sack with breathing holes cut all over it and then I coaxed her to walk into it by throwing about fifteen hot dogs in there. Once she was in the sack, I took her home with me and we’ve been best friends ever since. I’ve been thinking about fitting her for a saddle since she’s kind of big and I’ve been meaning to start a doggy ride business for carnivals anyway.
Doggy rides were one of my favorite childhood pastimes. Pony rides and elephant rides seem to be the most popular form of animal rides, but doggy rides are a lot more fun. They’re like those mini-motorcycles that crazy idiots buy these days. With a doggy ride, you never know where you’re going to end up: The dogs might take off like jack-rabbits when they see something or the dogs could just plop down and take a rest. We used to call those Sitsies. You could never get a refund for a Sitsie, but you’d always get a rain check.
My first step in dog ownership is training. I’ve already trained my pooch to relax, bark at the doorbell, and drink water. Pretty soon we’re going to work on pee in the house and growl. She’s super smart, so she’s been picking everything up so quickly. I really want to teach her to give me haircuts, but I’ve had bad luck giving animals hair clippers recently.
Picking a name is the most important part of getting a new dog. With a girl dog, you’ve got a few ways to go. You can call her a traditional feminine name, like Molly or Annabelle, you can name her something that relates to the way she looks like Blackhead or Furry Paws, or you can name her based on something you really like. That’s why I’m calling my dog “Hot.” I love hot dogs. Always have, even in my vegetarian days. Now that I have my own little hot dog running around with me, I’ll be constantly reminded of her sausage-y goodness. If you see Hot and me taking a stroll, come on over and say hi, but watch out. I’m in the middle of training her to bite strangers.
COMMENTS
An update from Creed is the best birthday gift I could ask for after a new episode of The Office tonight!
After you teach her to poo in the house, you could name her poopy butt.
Mmmmmmmmm.....sausagey goodness!
Why, Amanda? Why? It wasn't a funny comment in the first. Was it really necessary? Never mind. Creed, I'm intrigued by you doggy-ride business. Need any help getting the idea off the ground? I am certainly in. You'll never forget your first your first doggy ride, that's for sure.
-Davies
By the way, I'm quite curious about this animal with clippers ordeal you mentioned casually. Please, explain further
Why, Amanda? Why? It wasn't a funny comment in the first. Was it really necessary? Never mind. Creed, I'm intrigued by you doggy-ride business. Need any help getting the idea off the ground? I am certainly in. You'll never forget your first your first doggy ride, that's for sure. Oh and what the hell is sausage-y? French?
-Davies
By the way, I'm quite curious about this animal with clippers ordeal you mentioned casually. Please, explain further
Dear Creed,
Or is it Mr Creed? I guess I can't know for sure based on your name. It could be your first name, people sure have strange first names these days. I know three people named Taylor, one named Dakota, and one named Summer. Summer's not even a name, it's a season. I point this out to Summer frequently, telling her to change her name to something more apropos. Something like Helga or Bertha or Brangelina. She actually gets upset with me for helping her! That must be why nobody likes her. She can be quite difficult, despite her perfectly symmetrical shoulders and hair that smells of island fruits. I don't think it's her hair actually, I think it's the shampoo she uses. I can't say for sure, since she won't agree to go out with me and there are no windows in her bathroom.
I know some people go by their last name first. Like Bond, James Bond. His blog would be Bond thoughts. I don't know if he actually has a blog. He should though, don't you think? I'd read it, I'm sure he'd have all sorts of good advice. Though it might be a bit hard to follow since he's British. I don't like accents. I think people should knock it off and speak properly. They're showing off and pretending to be special. There's nothing special about them. They're liars. I'm sure you'll agree.
Anyway (Mr) Creed, I enjoy your blog and think you're quite a good writer. You should do a book! If you write one, I'd like two copies please. I will give you cash when you get here. I hope 5's are ok!
Take care,
your fan
PS, I'm glad you got your "Hot" dog back. I really like that name, and plan on naming my fish "Hot" fish. Please do not sue.
Dear Creed,
What is this crap?!? You sentences ramble and your paragraphs have absolutely nothing to do with each other. This blog should be deleted immediately. How did it make it onto NBC's official website? Wow, I am just thoroughly appalled by this. Good day.
-Austin Roebuck
Creed, did you ever find out the remainder of the quote about April Showers? (I just read your first entry and don't have time to go thru all the rest AND the comments to see.) The April Showers thing is kind of like a riddle: April Showers bring May Flowers, but what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims!
I once knew a dog named "Human" so I think the name "Human" beats the name "Hot". Sorry Creed.
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