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March 20, 09:00 AM
Creed Thoughts
There are two words that make my heart beat like a giraffe approaching a highway underpass. “Internet” and “dating.” When you put them together, I’m likely to go into convulsions. Up until last week, internet dating was number four on my most-current list of fears. It’s topped only by French-Canadian clowns that don’t wear pants, bodies of water where I can’t see the bottom, and my three remaining uncles. I’ve been on a mission to conquer these fears and that’s why I decided to give internet dating a shot.
My romance needs are real specific, so I didn’t know if these internet dating sites would be able to handle a dude like me. As a product of the free-love generation, I’ve still got some free-love souvenirs hanging around my free-love toolkit and I need a lady who doesn’t mind a few bumps on the free-love highway, so to speak. Lots of sites claim to help you find the perfect person for your particular needs, but I didn’t believe it until I actually tried them out. Did you know there are actually places to go for people in my… situation? There are. More than you’d imagine.
I posted my profile up on one of the sites a week ago – don’t ask me which one because I don’t post and tell. Within a day, all these people sent me messages saying they wanted to buy me dinner and take me to Italy and all kinds of crazy stuff. That’s when I realized I had signed up as a 30 to 45 year-old woman looking for a man in his sixties with lots of issues. Apparently I mixed up the “who I am” section with the “who I’m looking for.” What can I say? It was confusing and I filled it out fast. So I deleted all those messages (after a few really nice dinners with some surprisingly friendly but embarrassed guys) and started over with the right information. The messages haven’t been pouring in this time, but there’s a really nice looking gal from Altoona that seems promising. She’s got nearly everything I’m looking for/have contracted over the years, so it seems like a good match. We’re going to go out next week and I’ve been spending most of my time trying to figure out how I can get her to pay.
All in all, I’m pretty happy to report that I’m crossing internet dating off of my list of fears. It seems lot more manageable now that I’ve tried it a little. Next on my list are those pant-less French-Canadian clowns and I have no idea how to get over that fear. My only idea right now involves a very small Peugeot with a lot of seltzer and a pocket-sized French dictionary. I’ll let you know how it goes.
COMMENTS
The "dine and dash" is a classic way to get out of paying dinner.
As for the clowns, go to the biggest, meanest clown and punch him in the face. That way you get respect from the other clowns. Wait a minute, that might be for something else.
Anyway, who do you have in your bracket Creed?
Zoro says, "Fight the Frech-C's where it hurts them the most, take away the cheese they keep under their amrs. Remember they are French and incapable of anything more than a verbal mele."
If she's down with your ... "situation" then she's probably as excited to have found you as you are her. In that case I believe you've got clearance to go with the brilliantly simple "forgot my wallet" trick. This has the added bonus of giving you the opportunity to feel bad about something, thus showing your sensitive side. Chicks dig that. If you play it right you'll have her apologizing to you by the end of the date.
nice to see someone who can open up their thoughts on the internet...gee the internet dating, well Ive just had a look myself...its so hard to find what your looking for, I suppose your looking for yourself really just in the opposite sex...lol...absolutely love your music,,,its make my day worth working...love and light to you..
What does a 60 year old talk about with 30 to 45 year olds? They either weren't born yet or were in diapers throughout Motown & the British Invasion. (Not to mention Doo-Wop).
Everyone fears French Canadian clowns. God the two worst things in the world colliding; French Canada and clowns. I'm Canadian I can say this. There is no getting over this fear I'm afraid, just stay out of Quebec and count your blessings that the Great Lakes lie between you and them.
i think that if u r internet dating, then good for u, my mom doesnt even kno how to start a computer! she is from the free-love generation, even though she doesnt allow me to date until i am 16. idk. i have an aunt who is single and meets those criteria, u want me to tell her about u?
i think that if u r internet dating, then good for u, my mom doesnt even kno how to start a computer! she is from the free-love generation, even though she doesnt allow me to date until i am 16. idk. i have an aunt who is single and meets those criteria, u want me to tell her about u?
creed, you need to be happy with yourself before you try to find "love" on the internet...just let it happen man, don't force it.
Creed listen to me. U need to forget about trying to not fear French-C clowns. They smell,they are stupid and they are not afraid to play dirty. Its best if you can just avoid them.
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