Creed Thoughts

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December 13, 02:12 PM

Creed Thoughts


Man, the holidays really bum me out. Nobody makes me ham. Nobody bakes me cookies. Nobody buys me presents. I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m not allowed to talk to my family anymore since the fire incident. Before you get all up in arms, let me set the record straight – I didn’t set a fire. I merely took everyone’s presents and threw them into the fireplace when they wouldn’t let me open one of mine early. No big deal, right? One present. That’s all I wanted to open. But no, my family has “rules” and “traditions.” Hogwash. Those squares always overreacted to everything anyway. Who needs ‘em? Not me. I still like presents though, even though I don’t usually get any. That’s why I put together a Holiday Wish List every year. Now that I’m a Syber-World Astronaut, I thought I’d put my HWL (Holiday Wish List) up on the Internets.

My Holiday Wish List 2007

• A really sharp knife. I want one that cuts cans and opens doors.

• Three hundred dollars in unmarked singles. I owe a guy.

• One of those Russian fur hats that they wear in the Kremlin.

• Whale blubber. Don’t question me.

• A Nintendo Wii with additional nunchuk controller and Mario Party 8.

• A collection of discarded teeth with all necessary tools to make a necklace.

• Alpacas. Lots of ‘em.

• My weight in gold-covered chocolate coins.

• An Eye Phone, but keep in mind that I wear glasses sometimes.

• 1971, retold to me by a broad with a real sweet voice.

If you want to make this the best Christmas ever, go ahead and get me any of the things on this list. I’ll love you forever. Drop them off to me at work, but don’t put them in the “Toys for Tots” bins – those are just for my co-workers to use for my gifts. I wish they’d stop giving me dolls, though. I have more than enough already.

Comments (41) permalink
Posted by Creed at 02:12 PM

COMMENTS

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What does "Syber" mean?

Posted by Cait
December 13, 2007

i can get you a hat that a Russian wore in the kremlin

Posted by vc
December 13, 2007

Hey Creed, I can send you the knife, it sure is a little rusty but very pretty in the handle. how can i send it to you, Mail won't work, i tried.

Posted by realjuancho
December 13, 2007

I have really been wanting an eye phone too.

Posted by Jason Allen
December 13, 2007

wow, we have identical christmas lists :)

Posted by Joy
December 13, 2007

I can't get the alpacas, but I can get my hands on some llamas. Is that okay?

I'm a receptionist/customer service rep...and I think I've got a pretty nice sounding voice at times(plus, I'm a vocalist too)...if you supply the place, the story, and the audience, I'll recite anything...and, if the pay is good.

Posted by Becky
December 13, 2007

Hmm - no Northern Lights on your list? Did Shrute smoke it all?

Posted by Stan Darsh
December 13, 2007

i have a russian hat, mad bomber is what there called
give me your adress and i'll send it to you

Posted by Chris
December 13, 2007

You're in luck. My husband saved his wedding teeth to make me a set of earrings, and I am looking to get rid of them. I'm sure they'd make a nice addition for your necklace.

Posted by Larissa
December 13, 2007

Happy Festivus!! Thats what I celebrate this time of year. The best place to worship the "festivus pole" is down at the strip joint. Watching those young nimble things swing and slide up and down that pole does it to me everytime. Think ill head down there now. But first ill fire up some "harvest bud", and package some up for the girls tips. They love me this time of yr. Ho Ho Ho... and Happy Festivus

Posted by NYDENNY
December 13, 2007

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