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Creed Thoughts

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January 03, 12:38 PM

Creed Thoughts

This is the year I’m finally going to tack on those extra fifteen pounds. I’ve been skinny since birth (2 lbs. 8 oz.) and every year I tell myself that this is going to be my big year for bulking up. Well guess what, body? THIS IS THE YEAR. I’m going to get so fat.


I better not become one of those dudes that get a fat belly and nothing else. I hate those jerks. From behind, they look like normal joes, but as soon as they turn around – bam! – how did that guy get pregnant? Skinny legs and a fat tummy is no way to go through life, that’s for sure. When I get fat, I want to be fat everywhere. I want people to look at me and think “doughy.” I want kids to puff out their cheeks at me and pretend there’s an earthquake every time I take a step. I want to get so fat that I don’t even get fat-rolls when I sit down, I just get a blob.

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Posted by Creed at 12:38 PM