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November 08, 09:45 AM
Creed Thoughts
I don’t know about all this green stuff. I’m more of an indigo man myself. I will tell you this, though: I’m all about recycling. When I lived up in Maine for three years, recycling was my main job and the lessons that I’ve learned have stuck with me ever since. Number one lesson: cans are not just cans. They’re nickels, in can form. You wouldn’t throw away a nickel, would you? Not a chance. So why do people throw away cans? I have no idea. What I do know is that I supported myself for a long time on those cans and I might even say that I owe my life to them. If I wasn’t collecting cans, I can only imagine what I would have been collecting. Probably infectious diseases.
Bottles and cans aren’t just free money for the opportunistic among us. They also work as a great security system. When I go to sleep at night, no matter where I am, I spread a circle of crushed cans and empty bottles around me. That way, if anybody tries to mess with me or my stuff, I’ll hear those bastards coming. I also use thumbtacks if I can afford them.
As far as I’m concerned, recycling starts with underpants.
A few years back, I bought myself a tree in Israel. I got a certificate and everything to prove it. When I got kicked out of the halfway house a while ago, I decided I wanted to live in my Israeli tree. Build a tree house or something. So I made some calls and guess what I found out? It’s a total scam! They make it seem like you own the tree when you buy it, but when you actually want to claim your tree, they say it was just a donation. I was on the phone with those tree people for eight hours arguing about who actually owns that stupid tree. I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure that a certificate is a legally binding document. I’ll see those tree huggers/hoarders in court.
COMMENTS
"As far as I’m concerned, recycling starts with underpants."
For my money, all clothing/bathroom supplies are recycleable. u'd be surprised how often people throw away deodorant that still has a few coats left on it...more for me.
GO BILLS!!!
We are making a comeback!!
And nuts to underwear
I want to live in your Israel tree with you. I will collect cans and give them to you for rent. That is all.
Oh, Creed. You are the ultimate. That's all I have to say.
Creed - Damn scam artists. I thought i had purchased a star a while back and found out it was a fake as well. Wh should go hunt them down - probably the same company
I also put garlic down with the cans to keep the demons away. The italian restaurant down the street usually has plenty of it in the dumpster.
I hear ya Creed! Nothing like cans and crap dipped punji stakes to provide the ultimate in home security.
Now all we need is a heavy rain to wash the scum and filth down the storm drains.
Actually, blogs aren't scripted content, so they're not covered by the Writers' Guild. This blog is completely protected!
Not to break the fourth wall, but doesn't writing for this blog constitute a violation of the writer's strike?
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