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Creed Thoughts

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October 18, 01:29 PM

Creed Thoughts


There’s been a lot of bad mojo going on at work lately because of computers. Some kid’s been coming around saying how he wants to replace everyone with robots and calculators and little pieces of fruit. The Bossman listens to him, too, even though the kid’s real scrawny and has a horse face. Don’t get me wrong, I like computers as much as the next Joe, but when they start messing with me, I’m not just going to sit there and take it. I’ve seen the movies. If you want to fight back against a machine, you’ve got to chuck it in acid.


Acid. Oh man. Just writing that word brings back some memories. Not really memories. Flashbacks. Scary ones. I get them all the time. The other day I turned on the TV and everyone on the screen was a caveman. Freaked my bean, man.


My favorite flashback of all time is when I see the black lab puppy I had when I was a kid. Found him when I was walking back from the night shift at my warehouse job. I must’ve been seven or eight at the time. Named the pooch Bozo and let him sleep in my sock drawer when I wasn’t home. My Ma found him one day and threatened to let the little guy loose, but I slipped her a ten spot and she got real quiet. Bozo didn’t make it very far in the game of life, but I still see him about four, five times a year. Even though I can’t pet him, I’m glad that he’s still around, if only in my drug-addled mind.


Dogs make good friends, but if you’re looking for a really dependable pal, you’ve got to get yourself a spoon. Spoons never run away, they never rat you out, they come in handy when all you’ve got is soup, and, best of all, they turn into a weapon during a bar fight. Sure they’re not much when it comes to talking, but who wants a blabbermouth for a friend anyway? I’ll take a spoon over a Chatty Carl any day of the week.


Spoons are one thing, but spooning is a whole other story. I hate spooning. Unless we’re huddling for warmth, I don’t want to sleep anywhere near someone. I need my space. If you get too close to me when I’m sleeping, get ready for some bruises because I’m a wild child at night. Tossing, turning, choking, gouging – trust me, you’re better off as far away from me as possible.


And that’s… my blog for today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments (50) permalink
Posted by Creed at 01:29 PM

COMMENTS

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Tell us more about this horse-faced kid! :D

Posted by Betty
October 18, 2007

Hey Creed - any chance you and The Grass Roots will be making a reunion?

Posted by Ernesto
October 18, 2007

Nice 'Cavemen' reference!

Posted by Kookytalk
October 18, 2007

It's time Creed. Let the corporate takeover begin. You can lead the revolution. Don't let the horseface win.

Posted by Kyle
October 18, 2007

I think the scrawny kid's "beard" is penciled on. Expose him for the man-boy he truly is.

Posted by Nick
October 18, 2007

Easily the best posting ever!

Posted by Sam
October 18, 2007

Hey Joe,
You can't kill a machine, especially a computer on acid. Oi everyone knows that! It just makes em come back all jacked up & madder than Hades!
If a computer starts messen with you, everybody knows you have to go down to the HIVE under Racoon City, PA. Which is only about 2 bus rides away from the DM building, & turn on the Red Queen. She's the PA regional manger of computers & ATMs. Unplug her & no computer or ATM for that matter will ever bother you again. Now getting pass the viral security force, that's another problem you'll have to work out on your own. Hey, just bring the scrawny, horse looking kid to help charm Red, & that goofy moon faced bobble headed kid to fend off security & there ya go.
Good Luck & Krishna Speed to you.

Posted by Karma Suitra
October 18, 2007

Next time old horse face comes around throwing fruit at you, hit him with your spoon. Or that stake you have in your desk drawer. Excellent blog as always, Sir Creed.

Posted by Andrea
October 18, 2007

Does Bozo like spoons? :o

Posted by Danica
October 18, 2007

Nice work, Creed. I always wondered what was in your sock drawer.

Posted by TG
October 18, 2007

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