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Creed Thoughts

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October 11, 04:25 PM

Creed Thoughts


I house-sat for a friend last weekend. I guess some people wouldn’t really call it house-sitting – it was more like squat-sitting. My buddy Gerson found this great abandoned house over in Honesdale and he’s been squatting there for the past month. It’s one of the best squat-houses I’ve ever seen -- four bedrooms, working plumbing, only a few raccoons. If you get the electricity turned on, that house becomes a home in an instant and on top of that, you’ve already got pets.


Squatting can go one of two ways: it can be really great or it can be horrible – truly, truly horrible. I’ve been in both situations. Sometime in the late seventies (or was it early eighties?), I found my way into an abandoned factory on the eastern shore of Maryland and thought I was going to have the time of my life. I hadn’t seen a place that cool since the Playboy Club in Chicago and I was going to make it mine. What I didn’t know was that the factory was abandoned because it was slowly sinking into the Chesapeake Bay. I had a kegger one night and a hundred and fifty people dropped right into the water. Nobody got injured, though. At least I don’t think so. As soon as I saw the ground start to give, I got the hell out of there.


My best squatting experience was about ten years ago. It was early winter and I needed a place to crash. I was cruising around on a moped when I found this ranch house in Wilkes-Barre where the snow had piled up all over the driveway, so I knew it was deserted. I went inside and it was like finding a little slice of heaven, complete with a full wet bar and a somewhat fresh Christmas tree. Anyway, I was living there for a little while when I found out the house wasn’t abandoned at all. I suppose that explained all the food in the fridge. When the family came home after a week, I planned on moving out, I really did, but I had already gotten into a routine and the house was kind of perfect for me, so I decided to stick around and see if I could make it work around their schedule. As it turned out, the family was out of the house by eight every morning anyway, so I could do as I pleased.


One day, about a month into my squatting, I accidentally fell asleep in the tub. Ray, the man of the house, caught me and kicked me out. I learned an important lesson that day: if you’re squatting, take a shower. Nobody falls asleep in the shower. Taking baths, however, just sets you up for failure. I cherish that month with the Fullers, though. It really reminded me what it was like to have a family. I still visit them sometimes – they don’t know it, but I spent last weekend with them. Great turkey chili, Mrs. F! Keep up the good work.

Comments (52) permalink
Posted by Creed at 04:25 PM

COMMENTS

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Can you come live in my house?

Posted by jet.set.0
October 11, 2007

Greetings Creed! I know of an abandoned house in the LA area, if you're interested in crashing...

Posted by Cesar
October 11, 2007

I could save...SO much on rent.

Posted by Witheld
October 11, 2007

hi. i need a new house. will u buy me 1?thx dude!

Posted by Evan
October 11, 2007

Creed, you are the Man. You give such good advice; your blogs are actually more like life lessons. I had no idea what squatting was until I read this. You should write one of those do it yourself books. And by the way I hope your 30th birthday is a good one, at least better than your 80th blow out bash at The Great Wall Buffet.

Posted by Jay Floss
October 11, 2007

Stay away from my wife and kids you sick bastard. You disguste me and im calling the police you filthy whore

Posted by Ray Fuller
October 11, 2007

Your ass is grass, my wifes cooking is the best. im going to kick your fat ass

Posted by Ray Fuller
October 11, 2007

dude...you can crash in my storage room anytime. i got two cats and i think there's a possum out there as well. smell like it. you know how possums smell, gamey, not funky of skunky. there's a futon and washer/dryer there too, and lots of books. i used to sleep out there but moved inside.

Posted by ibbleblibble
October 11, 2007

Creed, im sure you've had your share of "office romances". But im also sure you were smart enough to "hit and run". Thats the only way to do it. I bet you've already hit Angela. Was it any good??

Posted by NYDENNY
October 11, 2007

Hey man, the Fuller's may have good turkey chili, but you haven't lived until you've tried my dad's oyster stew. It's quite good...you can come try it anytime you want. Also, if you're going to use our tub please take a bubble bath; no one wants to see the submarine exposed.

Posted by Kaity
October 11, 2007

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