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Creed Thoughts

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September 20, 03:03 PM

Creed Thoughts


Sad week for the Creedster. My girlfriend decided to call it quits on me. She’s been locked up over in Muncy for the past seven years on a bogus B and E with intent to commit a felony. I can tell you with absolute certainty that LaDonna didn’t intend anything. She never does. Maybe that was the problem. With only a month left on her sentence, she told me she got cold feet. Wanted her options open when she got sprung, I guess. If she played nice, she could’ve gotten out a few years ago, but my little devil has lots of issues with authority. That’s one of the reasons we made such a good couple.


Me and LaDonna met in an airport bar back in the mid-Eighties. After eight rum runners, the bartender decided LaDonna had had enough. I didn’t agree. I ordered her another and put it on some pilot’s tab. That skinny bartender saw her drinking it and tried to kick her out, but I said hell no and threw my glass at the wall. At the same time, the dumb pilot noticed someone had been piling up drinks on his tab and that got him pretty steamed. So here I am, with the bartender yelling at me, the pilot yelling at the bartender and LaDonna whispering “mess ‘em up real good” into my ear. So I did what I had to. I took out a smoke bomb I smuggled back from China, threw that sucker on the floor and made a break for it with LaDonna. Now that’s love.


When she got locked up, I went a little nutso. Wrote her name all over my body with a permanent marker. It didn’t help me feel any better and I got some kind of ink poisoning, but once I got out of the hospital, I felt like I could deal with it better. She made me promise never to visit her in the clink and I agreed. Nobody wants to see visitors when they’re in a cage. We wrote letters, though. Long, intimate letters where we invented a new kind of kama sutra. You should see the one she called the dangling moose. It was sexy as all hell.


I’m going to miss LaDonna a lot, but lucky for me I’ve got the perfect cure for break-ups: half a bottle of Jack, six jalapeno poppers, and an unauthorized biography of Elizabeth Taylor. It also works for hangovers.

Comments (57) permalink
Posted by Creed at 03:03 PM

COMMENTS

Pages:    1 |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6 

FIRST!

Posted by Nooners
September 20, 2007

first the WORST!
..second the BEST

Posted by SNEIL
September 20, 2007

Watch out for that Angela, I think she's got the hots for you. Those jesus freaks always tryin to rebel in some way or another. I guess her way is having the hots for the creedster. :)

Posted by Bob Dobalina
September 20, 2007

Sorry to hear of your loss..

Posted by Mark
September 20, 2007

you'll bounce right back, Creedster!

Posted by corinne
September 20, 2007

Another notch on the belt for Sweet Creed! Mind if I have some of your Jack?? :-)

Posted by Cesar
September 20, 2007

don't worry, buddy!! Ladonna will be back in jail before you know it, and the engagement will be back on!!!

Posted by Tim
September 20, 2007

Poor Creed.

Posted by Nadum
September 20, 2007

This is the best Creed Thoughts ever. By far the most graphic and horrfying blog entry in history.

The Dangling Moose??

Posted by Ralph Macchio
September 20, 2007

Man, Creed is frickin' cool, he's my favorite guy from the office. Why don't they show him more often, WHY!!! because the producer is a frickin' moose hater!

Posted by TGM
September 20, 2007

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