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July 19, 08:33 PM
Creed Thoughts
In my younger days, I spent a lot of time sleeping in a lot of places. Some of those places were bus stations. Everyone knows that hotels are for suckers, so why pay for lodging when you can get it for free? The problem is, there are a lot of crazies out there, so if you’re going to sleep in the bus station you’ve got to be savvy about it.
First of all, make friends with the night watchman. That’s the guy that can have the fuzz come and take you away. Find out what kind of candy he likes and bring him some. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stayed in a station worry-free because of a few Bit O’Honeys.
Pick up an old bus ticket. That way, if somebody gives you trouble, you just say you’re waiting for a bus and show them the ticket. No one ever really bothers to look, so you should be golden. If they do look, run like hell.
Some idiot security guard comes by and asks why you’re sleeping on the benches? You’re from the bench company and you’re testing comfort levels. Be creative. Whatever you do, don’t say you’re the bus driver. I made that mistake once in the 60’s and I ended up driving a busload of people to Jacksonville.
It was a weeklong trip and it was hot as hell. By the third day, some of the passengers started cooking bacon on the floor. I couldn’t complain, though, because I was driving the best smelling bus on the East Coast.
There was a young man sitting in the back of the bus who claimed to be a magician. Said his name was “The Great Alamundo.” He went up and down the aisles doing card tricks for people to pass the time. His deck of cards only had diamonds and clubs, though. He told me he sold the spades and hearts a while back for a few packs of cigarettes. Now that’s a smart magician. When we stopped in Macon, GA, I bought a new deck of cards for the guy, but he wouldn’t accept it. Didn’t want to be a charity case, I guess. His loss.
Once the card tricks lost their fun, the passengers started to get rowdy. I knew I had to keep them occupied or they were going to revolt. Long story short, I got everyone singing Johnny Mathis songs and the mood changed in a hurry. By the time we got to Jacksonville, I could hardly pry those people out of their seats. I ended up selling the bus for $400 and living in Florida for eight months. All in all, it was a pretty good trip.
COMMENTS
i was on that bus, and it did NOT smell good. that "bacon" was actually just pieces of leather from my shoe. it was a dare... so WHAT if i dared myself. it was a long bus ride...
Thanks for the skinny on sleeping Creed. i wish i had heard this advice before i made the same mistake by getting confused as a bus driver. i have to say my trip was a little too cold though. probably shouldn't have been sleeping on a park bench in northern alaska. word up my doggie.
Thanks for the great advice Creed. I made the same mistake in a airport. However, that led to me becoming the youngest pilot in pan-am history!
You are my hero...
Creed, a little note about that fateful bus ride: That "bacon" was (sadly) actually Winchester Randall Bacon, Kevin's older brother. That was his last bus ride. On the up side, that kind of counts as two degrees of separation, so...there's always that.
Creed, it amazes me how you get around.
SO VERY RIGHT Creedy boy,
fell a-sleep at a bus station 3
hours later my shoes were and my
front shirt pocket was gone.
True story.
Creed, I will use your good words to my advantage and once I sell this public access computer I can afford another good newspaper or two for warmth.
Thanks Creed, for both the information on places to sleep AND the look into your past. Keep updating well.
The bus trip I remember didn't have a magician but instead a dwarf that made all the ladies on the bus origami flowers from the foil paper inside cigarette packs. Everyone smoked up so the bouquets would keep coming. He got off somewhere near Chicago. Those were the days when you could smoke anything, anywhere damn near.
I love this one... it's like a rant.
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